9/30/05
10:34pm

    Well, another day another.....well, I don't know.  But it was a good day none the less.  We were supposed to have two different people come to see the house around 5:30pm and another around 7pm.  The first one never showed up, and the last one we decided to be gone for, but I don't think that they came either because usually the realtor leaves their card on the counter.  So, I don't know what happened...but there is another appointment tomorrow at around 1pm for some people to come see the house.  I think that our house will sell really fast though, it is a nice house. Tomorrow I will be putting some stuff out for sale though.  I am going to set out the book shelves, the punching bag (my dad is keeping his)  and the BBQ.  Probably some other stuff too, like an extra stroller that I have.  I would like to start getting rid of things now that we don't really need to have just because I know that it will make things easier when we do move.  I won't have to worry about getting everything sold all at once you know.  My friend Lorenda is buying the futon that is in Isaiah's room, and she is also going to buy his bed for her little boy.  That makes me a little bit nervous though, I want to make sure that when we move Isaiah feels comfortable.  I want him to have familiar things.  Having his toys will help...but still.  The really awful thing is that I know once we get there (the new house) we aren't going to have anything for the kids to sleep on.  We will have to go to Target right away and buy some stuff.  Although, it was just decided tonight that my mom and dad are going to drive their truck up there together and take the dogs with them.  They will leave 3 days before we do.  This way, we save money on shipping the animals, and we save money on having one car shipped.  I think it is a great idea, and my dad is excited about getting to see different parts of the USA.  I wish that I could go.  But I know that I am needed here for the kids. 

     You know...I feel kind of strange still about someone else living here in MY house.  I don't like the idea of someone else playing in our yard, enjoying the landscaping I paid for, and being excited about the nice windows that we had installed.  I think that it just stinks.  I don't like that idea at all.  I know that it is just a house, but still, it is my house.  It is my first house.  And I realize that it shouldn't matter much, but it does. 

     Well, I am going to cut this short...you wouldn't know, but I have actually been a way from this computer now for quite some time and it is now 1:30am.  I was packing up some stuff and cleaning the packed up areas.  So, I think I should just go to bed.  But, hopefully I will have sold a bunch of stuff in the morning, and can write about it all to you later.   Nite.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

16.)  To become an example to others.
       2 Corinthians 6:4-5; 1 Thessalonians 1:6-7

 

9/29/05
12:28am

     What is wrong with me that I cannot ever seem to go to bed at a decent hour?  I know what the answer is for tonight at least.  It is Thursday night, TV night.  And may I just say that ER mad me extremely mad tonight.  Some stupid lady who was a surrogate mother wouldn't get the cesarean that she needed, and the baby ended up with massive brain damage...and the parents who she was having the baby for decided that they didn't pay for a damaged baby.   UGH!!!!  I hate shows like that.  I can't imagine doing anything to ever harm a baby and when that was happening I just wanted to reach through the TV and choke the life out of her.  Let her be a little bit brain damaged.  Well, ok, that is a little bit much maybe, but you understand....people are just so dumb and when it comes to children and babies I just feel like there is no room for stupidity. 

     Today was once again a good day.  I must say that not having to worry about any of the move makes my life much easier.  I think that if I have time tomorrow I will write all that is happening down in my own personal journal...I have not written anything in it yet about the move, which is very typical of me, I always take forever.  But I must say that it will be nice to someday print all of these up and make a collection of them for my children and grandchildren to one day read.  I guess this can be the PG-13 journal. 

     This weekend I want to try to put some stuff outside for sale.  I also need to get some boxes, so I can pack up my books and sell the book shelves.  If Some Place Fun doesn't call me soon about the air hockey table, then I will just put an ad in the paper about it.  I figure $275.00 is a good price.  Of course we will go lower I am sure. 

     So, today a married couple ( I think) came to see our house.  I got the impression that they liked it ok...but I can't be sure.  Later a lady parked in front of our house and grabbed a flyer off the sign.  It is nice to know people are interested.  Our realtor said he is going to try to have an open house this weekend.  I think that will be a good idea.  It really is strange though having people walk all through your house.  I remember when we were looking for houses and as we walked through them I would make comments about different things....like how ugly the furniture was, or that they didn't know how to decorate...so now that I am the one selling I can't help but wonder what people are saying about my house.  If I am lucky they are saying that they love it and want to buy it.  We should hopefully get some pictures of the houses we want to buy by tomorrow, and then will put a bid on one Monday.  I am excited yet again at the prospect of getting a nice big house.  Just need to sell this one first. 

     And, on a side note, I just want to say that during a walk today Isaiah told me he had to use the bathroom, and I was proud of him because he did as I asked and held it until we got to some where that had a restroom.  He is becoming such a big boy.  I miss my baby.
I wish that we could randomly go back in time just to watch...that way I could see him as a baby again...see him when he first started walking...and first said "Mama".  Ah...I love him.
Oh, and also, in Iona's blog she mentions her daughter Athena.  We almost named Evelyn Athena.  I think it is a beautiful name.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

15.)  To help our prayer life.
       Isaiah 26:16

 

9/28/05
10:42pm

     I feel so much better today.  I have taken James' advice and decided to simply not be involved in this move when it comes to planning things out.  The stress of it all is just too much for me.  I have enough on my plate just being a mom and keeping this house in order right now in the event that someone wants to come see it.  Which hopefully, many people will.  I don't see how they couldn't, it is a great house.  I am super excited about the fact that we did find two houses today that we all liked.  Once our realtor Alicia takes some good pictures of them and we receive those I will give you all a link to them.  The main one we are interested in has a basketball court in the back yard even.  It is selling for $334,000 I think.  It is very big and has a nice big basement too.  The other house is very new, built just this year, we are sonly worried that it might not be big enough.  We will just have to wait and see what Alicia says.  It is really sad though that we can't afford that other house.  It would be amazing to have such a spectacular home.  But, God gives us what we need, he does not always give us what we want.  So, praise God for giving me what I need.  He always comes through for me...and that is something that you can't say for about anyone else.  People will fail you, but God will never fail you.  People aren't perfect, but God is.  I like to remember that.  People won't always understand what you are trying to get across, sometimes people won't listen, sometimes people will make you mad, make you sad, people will judge you, make assumptions about you and where your heart may lie...but you know what, none of that even matters...it is possible to let all of those things roll off your shoulder.  How?  By letting God take care of it all.  Just give your frustrations to him, give your worries away, give your fears away.  Give it all up to him.  I know that this last week for me has been bad, my mind has been a jumbled mess.  But one thing was always with me, and that is that God will get me through it, he will provide a way for me to calm down and be "ok" again.  And he did.  He gave James eyes and ears to see and hear how I was feeling, and now he is taking on most of the burden, since he handles these things so much better than I do.  Thank the Lord that I have a good man like James in my life.  I can't imagine the life I would have if I was with someone else. 

     Now, I don't know about you, but I like to hear new words and know what they mean.  So I thought that for now on, or at least until I get bored of it, I am going to have The Word of the Day on this page.  I will include the word, the definition, and stuff like that.  I put it on the right hand side of this page above the pictures...so we will see how long this lasts, I might get bored of it, who knows. 

     Like I said yesterday, we (James and I ) wanted to talk over the move and stuff with my mom and dad today.  So James stayed home and worked here.  Well, because of that he was able to go to the bible study tonight at the Greene's house.  Now I was glad he went, but I was also kind of hoping that he would have stayed home with the kids, so that way I could have enjoyed the bible study more.  I realize that it was a selfish thought, but I can't help it, it is distracting from the lesson when you have your kid walking out with no pants on because he just went to the restroom.  So...someday I will have a babysitter for it, maybe. 

     Well, before I end this I just want to mention that if you want to test your Bible IQ then go here...  http://new.christianity.com/Bible_Quiz/default.aspx  for some hard Bible quizs.  They are sure to leave you feeling dumb.  Goodnight all.

P.S.  I never did get a reply from that Pastor I emailed in Ann Arbor.  I think I either freaked him out, or maybe he thought I was a prank.  I guess I will have to research on my own.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

14.)  To reveal ourselves to ourselves.
       Job 42:6; Luke 15:18

 

9/27/05
1:08am

     Well, I don't even know where to begin when it comes to describing my entire day.  The day itself was ok, but it got stressful for me when Lorenda's kids came over because I was taking them to Some Place Fun tonight with the rest of the church.  They had a lot of fun and I talked to the girls who work there about my air hockey table that I am selling and they are going to come see it some time very soon to see if they want to buy it.  I am very excited about that.  Honestly, I can't wait to get rid of that thing.  But, the evening did not end there.  Oh no.  There was major issues to discuss tonight.  It all started with the dogs, and how to ship them over there.  I had found some great people at a great company and I wanted to use them.  James wanted to look around more still and compare prices.  Blah blah blah...somehow we started talking about the price of the house we are going to bid on, and if we can afford it.  I didn't think we could.  Especially with there being the chance that my mom and dad might not have jobs right away.  I kind of broke down.  I was crying, not about the money, but the stress I have been under.  Taking care of the two kids (and Isaiah has been a spaz lately) and also worrying about all that needs to get done...well, it has been wearing on me, I try not to show it, but if you look closely at how I have been, you can tell.  Mostly you can tell in that I lose my patience very quickly now...and I am sure that is why Isaiah has been so different lately, because he is noticing my change and thus changing with me.  Well, basically it came down to us realizing that we can't comfortably afford that house.  But, we can afford a smaller, yet still huge house, much easier and have a much smaller payment with the down payment we will be giving.  We were looking at some other house possibilities and there are some really great ones.  So I am excited about that.  I do however feel bad for my mom and dad, I know they were excited about this particular house.  We are going to have them come over tomorrow and discuss our decision with them and have them sit down and pick out another house with us.  I think that is the best idea.  And there really were some great houses that still have a lot of land.  I will give you a link to whatever one we pick so you can see it.  But, our house here is now officially for sale.  You can see that with this link. http://ibuyahouse.com/VirtualToolkit/PropertySearch/detail.asp?MLSSysID=1&MLS=50091369
Maybe some one reading this will want to buy it, who knows.  Anyway, I must say, that through out all the stress, and thinking, and crying that I did tonight one thing is very clear.  I have a wonderful man in James.  He could tell how much I was struggling and basically told me that with the exception of thinking up ideas of what he needs to get done next, he doesn't want me to do anything in regards to the move.  He just wants me to do what I am good at....taking care of the family and house.  And you know what, I am good at that, actually, I am great at that.  You should see how nice this place looks right now.  Even I am impressed with myself.  You know what I missed tonight?  The season premiere of The Amazing Race.  That kind of bummed me out.  But, tomorrow is another day with many more TV possibilities.  Isaiah is still grounded from video games, and I must say that in that area he is doing good.  He still asks, but but he gets over it sooner.  Well, I feel like I am emotionally drained right now, and my contact lens need to come out.  I guess I will head off to bed.  More info for you tomorrow I am sure.  Bye.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

13.)  To prove our sonship.
       Hebrews 12:5-6

 

9/26/05
11:35pm

     So much stuff happening today that I feel like I can not even think straight.  Well, to start the Realtors were coming over today, so I was trying to clean things up....that was only semi successful as Isaiah has been acting up lately.  I was having to discipline him a lot today.  The realtors did come though and funny enough there names were Jeff and Kevin...the names of James' best friends.  We are putting our house up for sale at a price of $375,000.  Evidently that is slightly lower then a few of the houses around us.  It is crazy though you know...this is all actually happening.  I was thinking to myself about how we are going to get from here to the airport with us, the dogs and the kids.  I guess we would have to get someone to drive us there who has a big vehicle.  Like an SUV.  Probably end up asking James' mom.  She has one.  Then I was also thinking about the fact that we would have to make sure we had a evening plane ticket, so that way during the day the moving company could come and get our stuff and our cars.  Everything just seems so confusing.  If anyone out there reading this has any moving advice for me....I would really appreciate it.  Email me and let me know.  ecm1980@comcast.net
I am nervous though that the other house will get bought by someone else, and that we will be in a tight spot because our house will be up for sale.  I am just nervous all over.  And still, the whole dog thing is making me nervous.  I know that people do put there animals on planes all the time, but it just makes me nervous since we have a big dog.  New things just scare me.  I don't know how to do any of this you know. 

     I was thinking just now that it might be too difficult to take Dusty with us.  And I just don't feel that connected to her anymore.  I only really want to take her with us for Isaiah and because I don't want to hurt the actual dog.  Which sounds dumb, but I can't help it.  I just don't want to give her a way to anyone though you know.  And I really do feel like Isaiah will be very hurt if I give her a way.  She is such a great dog though, I guess we just don't feel that connection though with her.  Or I should say that sometimes I do...but mostly I don't.  What do you think?  Keep her and figure out how to get her there?  Or don't keep her and find her a good home?  I am so lost feeling, I keep changing my mind.  This whole thing is so full of complications that it gives me a headache.  I feel like it will never end.

     Well, I can't go on like this tonight...the realtor said we could start having people coming here as soon as tomorrow...so I need to go to bed, so I can be in a good mood tomorrow.  Bye people. 

25 Reasons Christians Suffer 

12.)  To chasten us for our sin.
       1 Peter 4:17

 

9/25/05
12:41am

     Wow, I am starting this really late.  Today I started asking James about the whole move thing, I told him about all the fears that I  have, and about how some of the people who are not as supportive are making me feel bad.  After I cried for a little while again....he asked me if I trusted him.  My eyes filled up with tears again as I said yes.  I do trust him, and I know that if would never do anything like this without thinking it all out first.  I have faith in him to do what is best for us as a family.  Tomorrow the realtor who will be selling this house for us is coming by so we can sign the papers.  I hope that we get to put a bid in for the house in Ann Arbor though tomorrow, I saw on the website for it yesterday that the owners were having an open house today.  That kind of made me nervous.  I don't want anyone else  making a bid on it and possibly taking it from us.  That would be a big bummer.  Especially since that house is really great...well, with the exception of the lack of a fence for the back yard.  Which I still have a hard time getting my mind around  the fact that people over there just don't care about fences.  I can't imagine seeing everything my neighbors are doing...and them seeing me.  Not to mention the fact that we won't be able to just let Isaiah play outside whenever he wants too, I will have to be out there with him so he doesn't go into the street or into someone's yard other than our own.  There will definitely be a lot of new things to adjust to...but if all the people over there can live that way, then I suppose that I can too.  I know it is going to be hard though with the dogs...we will have to get something quick for them to keep them in the yard.  But listen to me, it isn't even our house yet and here I am acting like it is. 

     James and Kevin had a great time.  He got 3 movies signed...and also some merchandise that he had purchased from before.  He said that it was cool though and he even bought a shirt.  I am glad that he is home though.  I did miss him.  Tiffany and I had a good time though and I was glad that she hung out with me.  We talked and watched some movies.  She even came to church.  I don't know if she liked it or not.  I decided not to ask, just incase she said no.  lol  That may sound stupid to you, but I knew that of she had something negative to say, I might get defensive.  Anyway, it is 5 minutes to 1am...and I need to sleep.  Wish us luck with selling our house.  Nite.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

11.)  To make us confess when we do sin.
       Judges 10:6-7, 15-16; Psalms 32:3-5;Hosea 5:15; 6:1; 2
      Chronicles 15:3-4

 

9/24/05
9:58pm

     Oh my Gosh!!!!  So I just saw that I had an email from James...and as you know he is in LA right now cause he went to meet the stars from that movie Mallrats, well he sent me pictures!!!  Oh my gosh I am so excited for him...he got to meet the stars and have pictures with them and everything.  It is so cool. I bet he was so happy.   And it takes a lot for James to be genuinely excited.  Usually he just  fakes it.  I can't wait till he gets home and then I can hear all about it.  I don't know what time he will be back though...so I will have to just wait I guess.   Obviously he will not be in church tomorrow.  But, it is very possible that Tiffany will be.  She is staying the night tonight and said she might come tomorrow depending on how the morning goes.  She said that she mainly wants to go so she can see Iona.  She really liked her a lot.  We had a fun and semi stressful day.  The kids were acting up at different times, and Isaiah was having a hard time listening, so I had to ground him from video games for a whole week.  He didn't like that very much, but he handled it well, especially considering that we were in a restaurant at the time and I was slightly concerned that he might start crying.  But he just buried his hands in his face and that was it. 

     I don't have a clue what else to write about.  Evelyn is 4 months old now though.  And that alone just seems impossible.  It can't have flown by that quickly.  My mom and dad are working very hard trying to get their house ready to sell, and here I am having doubts still about moving.  Not doubts in the sense of if it is good to move or not, but doubts in that I am feeling so bad for all the people that we will be leaving behind.  And I keep wondering if we should stay just for them.  I mean I won't get to see them at all...and like I said yesterday, what if I can't make any friends?  I am not an easy person to get to know.  I wish that I could just have it both ways.  I wish that I could live up there, but still be close to everyone.  That would be the ideal thing.  It is stupid though to think that is even possible...but whatever.  It's like on one hand I am so excited about that house, and getting all the new furniture and blah blah blah blah.  But then I think....what if this is all wrong, what if we are not supposed to go...what if our plane does go down and we all crash and burn!!!  ugh....I know...i know...I am being dumb...but I can't help it, and I really can't help but think that if we just stop now, just stop the whole process....everything will be fine and we will still be happy.  But then I know that James still wants to move somewhere else anyway for the kids education....so it will end up happening anyway...probably best to just do it now right?  I am so scared people.  Really I am.  I have the big problem of always second guessing myself after I make a big life altering decision.  And I know that is what this is.  I do it all of the time.  Please pray for me continually if you can.  I really need it.  I better go....Tiff is still here and she will be done reading Harry Potter in no time.  Nite.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

10.) To prevent us from sinning.
      2 Corinthians 12:7; 9-10

 

9/23/05
10:06pm

     Ok, James and his best friend Kevin just left about 20 minutes ago for L.A..
I am already feeling lonely.  I have come to realize that although I do not miss James or the kids when I am the one who leaves, I do miss James when he is the one who left.  So here I am with plenty of stuff I could be doing around the house right now, but I feel kind of down since he is gone and I don't want to do them.  When I saw Kevin I asked if he has seen the pictures of the house we are going to hopefully buy.  He said he didn't want to see them.  It turns out that Kevin is not what you would call "excited" for us.  Actually, you could saw he is pretty upset.  He doesn't want us to move that far away.  He is going to miss James a whole lot. (They have been friends since 1st grade) He kept talking about how we could just as easily go to Arizona and get better work, better schools, and better housing.  I know he is right...but the plus side for Michigan is that James would have a friend there.  Jeff is going to move there too, and that is a big plus.  Anytime you move somewhere you want to have people you know there too.  I asked him if he will come visit us though and he said no, he said that he is boycotting Michigan now.  Yep, he is mad.  I hope that he gets over it though and that he will come visit us.  I want him to.  Don't get me wrong though, I am still really nervous about this whole thing.  I keep on thinking about how sad it is going to be for Isaiah because he won't know any little kids there and so he won't have any friends.  I am going to have to make sure that I take him to the parks a lot.  I hope that whatever church we end up at also has kids his age, because then it might be easier.  Although I know that he will at least make friends once he starts school.  Me on the other hand, that is another story.  I do not make friends very easily.  When I meet someone new I am usually very suspicious of them.  I also feel like they have an ulterior motive.  I know that is dumb, but I guess it just stems back to all the back stabbing friends that I have had in the past. I am so scared that I will end up not getting to know anybody.  What if all I end up doing up there is just being a mom, wife, and daughter...what if I can't make a friend????   I imagine I would make some general passer by friends, but I want to have someone who will come to my house and hang out.  I am going to miss everyone here so much.  It's times like this that I start thinking this might not be the right thing for us.  Maybe we should just forget all about it.  It wouldn't matter, nothing is written in stone.  We can just change our mind.  I do this every time some one doesn't agree with what we are doing.  I end up making myself feel so down.  I hate that.

     I was looking at church's in Ann Arbor.  I found one that seems to share the same beliefs that I do.  http://www.willisbaptist.org/4436.html  I actually emailed the Pastor and asked him a bunch of questions.  He will probably think I am strange.  I mentioned that I was proud of the fact that I consider Pastor Rob to be a friend and then proceeded to ask him questions like "Can you take a joke?"  "What are you like when you preach?"   ect ect.  We'll see of I get an answer back from that one.  Why am I moving again?  Oh yea, James hates the schools here.  UGh.  I am feeling very off right now.  That Pastor probably thinks that I am very off.  I found another one that had what I would call a "cool" website.  http://www.peopleplace.org/templates/col08bl/default.asp?id=19753     
 And I also like how they have a "what we believe" page.  That is very helpful I think.  (hint hint pastor rob)  I would have emailed that Pastor too, but I am getting tired.  So oh well.  I did save the web page though so I won't forget them.  I have a good feeling about that one.  Hey Pastor Rob, will you look at them both and tell me what you think?  Well, I better go now, I need to clean my bathroom before bed.  Tiffany will be here in the morning.  Nite all.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

9.) To Glorify God
     Psalm 50:15, John 9:1-3; 11:1-4; 21:18-19, Philippians 1:19-20

    

Update:  Ok, if you want to check out the pictures of the house that the realtor took today you can see them by clicking on this link.  http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/clarkrelocation/album?.dir=/9f97&.src=ph&.tok=phHEfqDB7X0eJzWR
I hope that we do get this house.  I think it would be perfect.  I am just worried about the contingency still.  But, considering that it has been on the market for 6 months, I don't think we should worry.  Ugh, but I am a worrier.  Please keep me and my family in your prayers while we go through all of this.  I need them.....I don't want my head to explode.

9/22/05
6:20pm

     Ok, so I have 40 minutes to write this because today is the first big Thursday night in regards to TV shows.  Now, that includes, Survivor, CSI, The Apprentice, and ER.  I highly recommend them all.  I am especially excited about tonight's CSI.  I love a good crime drama.  Today was much more relaxed.  I feel good today.  I tried my best to not worry to much...and even though I did begin to get concerned about what would happen if James could not find a job there (he gets to keep his current one when we move) I decided that I have enough to worry about for today, and that I should let God worry about the future for me.  After all, he knows what will be happening to us all.
Anyway, it is possible that James wouldn't be able to find a job here either if he lost his current one...so I shouldn't worry about something so dumb.

     We got approved for our loan though....so tomorrow when the realtor over there calls, we will tell her we want to put a bid on the house.  I hope that we are able to get it, especially since it is going to have to be on a contingency that we sell our house.  That worries me some.  I know that the market is a little bit slower now, and I hope it sells fast.  God I hope so.  There is really just to much to think about. 

     The stupid phone keeps ringing and it is interrupting my typing time.  So, I better just go, because I don't have much time left.  I'll write more tomorrow.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

8.) To make us Christ like.
     Hebrews 12:9, 10; 1 Peter 4: 12-13  Philippians 3:10; 2,  Cor. 4:7-10

 

9/21/05
12:23am

     Well, I was having a good day at the beginning, but I would say that once noon hit, I was feeling the pressure.  I think it is that I am thinking so much about the move that I am getting stressed from the thinking, and then with the regular everyday duties of being a mom on top of it, I end up feeling like my head wants to explode.  And every time Ethan comes over it is like Isaiah has to show him EVERY SINGLE toy he owns, so he proceeds to empty all of his toy drawers out onto the carpet.  Then, guess who has to clean up the mess?  Well, I am not cleaning it today though, it can just stay messy for all I care, I feel like c@*p right now  (see how I censored myself? )  and I just don't want to do it.  I am amazed that the kitchen got clean even.  I did most of that and James took care of the living room.  I also cleaned up outside today.  My dad and my cousin Rueben finished the back yard and it looks so nice.  It is almost a shame that we won't get to use that cemented area.  It really does look nice. 

     I went to the bible study today.  I wish that there was some way for me to go without having to take the kids.  It's not that the kids are bad, it's just that there is always something that has to be done with them there.  I had to feed Evelyn twice, Isaiah had a toilet accident, and it wasn't the easily cleaned up kind.  Then Isaiah kept wanting something, a drink, something to eat...whatever.  Basically I end up feeling like it is not even worth me going because I don't get to listen to the whole study.  I was thinking that it would be good to just not go anymore.  But, I don't want to give up, I feel like I should go, if not just so I can spend time with people from my church before I have to move.  I really am so excited though that I get to keep writing this even after I move.  I am sure that it will be a while though before I can write an entry from down there though, as it will be a few days I am sure before we get the internet hooked up. 

     There is one house that we are very interested in.   If you would like to take a look at it please click on this link.   http://agent.kw.com/6604/listing.php?listing_id=2911911
As you can see, the basement is huge, bigger than my current home actually.  So my mom and dad could basically have a home of their own down there.  And the rest of the house is just beautiful.  I am seriously excited about it.  I think that this would be the perfect home for us, and I pray that it is also the one God wants for us.  Tomorrow I will find out if we are approved for the loan or not.  I don't see any reason why we wouldn't be though...we have perfect credit. 

Anyway, I am going to cut this short tonight, it is getting late.  Nite all.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

7.) To purify our lives
     Job 23:10, Psalm 66:10-12, Isaiah 1:25; 48:10, Proverbs 17:3, 1 Peter 1:7
 

9/20/05
11:45pm

     Ok, so today was very stressful, well, no not stressful, very frustrating.  I couldn't wait until James came home so I could go shopping for groceries and be alone, all alone.  Evelyn was crying about 70% of the day.  I am thinking that Evelyn might be teething.  She just kept crying, and sucking on her fingers.  And of course she was drooling all over the place.  It just made things very hard.  Isaiah wanted to go do things, and I had a lot of laundry to do...but, now all the little ones are sleeping, I am watching the movie Monster In Law, and I feel much better.  This movie is very very funny too.  Ugh, you know, when I left to go to the grocery store, I actually didn't go to the store right away.  Instead I ended up going to JC Penny to see if I could catch Lorenda before she left work.  I got there just in time.  When I went up to her I started crying and said, "What am I going to do when I have a bad day like this one and your not around?"  It was depressing.  I am the kind of person that needs my friends...and I don't want new ones either....I like the ones I have just fine.  Why can't they all just move up there with me?  Is it really that difficult? 

     Also, I found a really great moving company today.  I am just trying to convince James to go along with it all.  They even gave me a great deal on all the cars that would have to be shipped.  OH MY GOD!!!!  Am I really going to do this?  Am I really going to move??????  AAAAHHHHHHH,  I can't handle this....right now I feel so overwhelmed.  How am I going to be when the time actually comes?  I am going to be living thousands of miles away from everyone and I will only see the ones I love twice a year, if that.  What is wrong with me?  I need medication...I need something.....another retreat.  I wish that I didn't have to be involved in any of this, I wish that everything could get done with out me and all I would have to worry about was packing stuff up....I am good at packing stuff up.  Dear God help me.

     You know what I just realized?  I think that for once Google is wrong.  I was checking on how many miles it is from Lodi to Ann Arbor Michigan, and it said 2,301 miles...that sounds right, but then next to that it says, 1 day 14 hours.  Now that sounds wrong.  How is that possible.  There is no way that you could drive that far in 38 hours.  Pastor Rob, if you are reading this how long did it take you to drive up there?  I am curious.

     I just found out that there is no Kaiser in Michigan...how is that possible?  Aren't they supposed to be everywhere?  I don't know what we are going to do now about Health Care.  I mean obviously we have to get something.  But I have a bad feeling that it is going to end up costing us a whole lot.  The stress never ends.  I need a massage.

     I liked Iona's blog today.  Like me she did not actually say what bad things did happen at the retreat, but she is right in saying that Christians need to be examples...and a select few were certainly not.  I certainly hope that those individuals have "seen the light" so to speak...because when we left it didn't seem like they had. 

     I don't even know what else to say...I feel awkward, I feel confused.  I feel very very strange.  I hope that tomorrow is better...Lorenda is supposed to spend the day with me, and I think that will help me out a lot. 

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

6.) To teach us
     Psalm 119:67, 71

 

9/19/05
11:53pm

     Well, today was one of those very frustrating days.  I don't know why I was having such a hard time...but I was.  And to top it all off, James was also having a hard day.  He had some big problem with work and it took him all day long to fix it, then, when he tried to book his airline tickets he had about a million problems.  He has never purchased them before you realize, so he had no idea what to expect.  So, between accidentally paying for the wrong tickets, getting charged $70.00 to cancel that flight, then trying to find other ones but discovering that the prices literally can change in all of 2 minutes....well...he was getting pretty mad.  In the end it was costing almost four hundred dollars just to get the one ticket.  So because of that James is going to be going by himself.  Well, he gets the ticket thing settled and then it's time to book a hotel room.  Turns out that he should have done that first.  Evidently there is a football game at the college that weekend and everything, and I mean everything, is full.  He is mad.  And even though he doesn't want to, now he has to cancel that flight too, and try to get another one for October 1st.  Since the following two weekends have games.  He is pretty annoyed with the fact that he will be charged again for canceling his flight.   It's like he is giving away the money.  lol  So basically James is going to be gone quite a bit in the next two weeks.  At least for this first one I will have company.  I will have to figure out what to do with myself for the other.  It has been a really hard first official day home though in regards to moving.  We have been talking and thinking so much about it that it feels like our heads are going to explode.  James was able to get a quote for a moving company, for them to have a big truck and move some of our stuff and my mom and dad's stuff, it would be almost five thousand dollars!!!  That is crazy.  It would end up being cheaper to rent the U-Haul and just drive there.  Then, someone could also drive my dad's truck up and tow another car.  So then we would only have to ship two cars...and that would be much cheaper.  Also, James thinks that it might be easier to give our bigger dog Dusty a way to someone else.   He thinks that having four dogs between us all would be too much.  So, I am going to ask Tiffany if she was serious when she said that she would take her, because if so, then I would pay for the deposit she would need to give her landlord.  I know it would be easier if we did not have to take her with us...and cheaper.  But I can't help but think we should keep her.  But I wouldn't feel so bad about it though if she went to someone that I knew and loved.  That would be semi easier.  I do think however that Coco would miss her.  She would have my mom and dad's dogs as company though.  The crazy thing is that I have noticed most of the houses there do not have fences around the yards because there is just so much land, but I think we would have to have one put in, after all, i can't have the dogs running all over the place. 

     Well, really that was about it.  Not much else.  But hey, maybe more tomorrow.  Bye

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

5.)  To silence the devil.
      Job 1:9; 10, 20-22
 

9/18/05
10:36pm

     Welcome home to me.  I am back and I had a safe drive.  It was so easy, surprisingly.  Tiffany and I had a really great time.  I was so glad that she enjoyed herself.  She said that she really liked Cathy and Iona a lot.  She even asked at the end if she could keep the extra bible that I had brought.  I don't think that she is on the verge of being saved just yet...but I do think that she is at that point of making a decision.  I bet that in a couple years time I will know.  The speaker for the retreat was a awesome lady.  She just kept our attention the whole time, and Tiffany liked her too. 
We got to have a massage, and a manicure.  That was really nice.  The massage was great in particular.  There was unfortunately some bad things that happened.  One was especially bad, and since I decided while I was there that I would not write about it, I am not going to.  The other thing that happened was that I fell out of the top bunk.  I fell trying to get down to go to the bathroom.  When I fell, I fell straight down, and my shins landed on the wood of the bottom bunk.  It hurt incredibly bad.  That wasn't where it ended of course.  Then I fell backwards, landed on my hip, then I stopped myself from hitting my head with my arms and hurt my shoulder.  Tiffany said that I came so close to hitting my head on the bunks on the other side, and so that was very very lucky.  My legs are very sore, bruised, and I have some scabs where I have a couple open little sores.  It stinks.  I would tell you how that all came about, but I can't, because it is related to the first thing which I promised myself that I would not write about because it will just end up making me get mad all over again.  And let me tell you, I was mad.  (Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.  lol  That's from the TV show "The Hulk"...remember?)  Anyway, so besides that every thing was so good, and the food actually made me put on 2 pounds.  I'm serious.  That has always been a big problem for me....I can gain weight so easily. 

     Also, something crazy happened right before I left for the retreat.  Pastor Rob called me and said that he had received an email that I might be interested in.  It was from a girl who claimed to be looking for her child hood best friend whose name was Eva Arredondo.  (My maiden name)  She listed my parents name, and gave what my age should be.  She said that she was trying to find me and put my name in Google and she came across the church's webpage that I have.  She included her phone number in the email.  Well, I was taken back by this.  Mostly because I thought it was crazy that someone would be looking for me.  But when I contemplated the girls name (I'll leave that out for now)  I thought, well, that could be this girl that I remember from when I was little.  So, when I got back today I gave her a call.  Turns out it was her and she said that I was her best friend and she has been looking for me since she was 12 years old.  She used to come over to play with me and we usually played with our Barbie dolls.  Anyway, basically she was very excited to talk to me and I was still just very shocked that there was someone out there who was trying to find me for so long.  It was nice though and she kept my phone number and said that she plans on keeping in touch with me.  It made me think though about other people that I would want to talk to if I could.  I had one friend in middle school that moved a way, and I have always wanted to see her again and talk to her.  Her name was Heather Pullen.  I always felt very close to her.  I know that she moved...but I never could remember where,  I would love to find out how she is doing. 

     Also, while I was gone James told his mom about us moving.  She cried, and cried.  I felt horrible.  I just knew that would happen, and then i called her tonight to talk to her and I ended up crying again when she talked about how she won't see her grandkids anymore.  It is so depressing, and even though I keep on telling myself that all of this is to better our family and the kids to have a better education, I keep thinking that it could be wrong.  What if all that we will gain, is not going to be worth all that we will lose.  Family, family is so very important.  I don't know what to do...I want to make sure everyone is happy, but I feel like it is an impossible thing.  Also, I can't help but just feel sorry for myself, I am going to miss all my friends so very much.  I need them.  I really do.  And the reality is that even though I will want to, I probably won't see them that much.  I guess my big fear is that they will slowly stop calling, and they will stop being my best friends.  Not on purpose of course, but just because of the distance.  I don't want to be replaced in there lives.  I don't want to be forgotten.  Ugh, I hate this.  New topic.

     I was thinking that it can't hurt to start trying to get rid of stuff we don't need.  So....anyone want to buy a really nice big air hockey table?  It is the same size as a pool table, and looks new.  It is only a little over a year old.  Also, a BBQ, a black book shelf made of that fake wood, a entertainment center made of the same thing but also has book shelves built in and drawers.  If you want to buy them, or know some one who might, look me up in the church directory and give me a call.  I'll think of more stuff later.  I should go to bed now...it's after 1am.  Nite

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

4.) To produce the fruit of righteousness. 
   Hebrews 12:11 

 

9/15/05
11:30pm

     Ok, so just a second ago I was thirsty, and I thought that I would get some water.  So I grabbed the water bottle out of the fridge that I had let Isaiah use prior and brought it out with me to the living room.  I sat down on the floor to type this out, took a drink and thought, "Yuck, this tastes strange."  Then I took another drink, and I still thought it was weird.  Then, as I gazed down into the bottle I saw something nasty on the bottom of the bottle.  It looked like nasty moldy dog food, but then I realized it was a chunk of steak with cheese on it from the dinner I made.  Oh my gosh it was so gross.  I got the shivers and everything.  I know that it must have been a piece that Isaiah chewed on and then spit into it.  Oh my gosh it is so gross.  UGH. 

     I baby sat Lorenda's little boy all day today, and when she came to get him later she stayed for a couple hours too.  I am really going to miss her when we move.  She is such an integral part of my everyday life.  I call her everyday, we take our kids to the park.  We go shopping together.  I am starting to think that once I get over there I am going to have to find a part time job just so I can pay for my friends to come visit me.  I know that sounds crazy, but I will probably do it.  We have been looking at a whole lot of houses up there while on the internet.  WOW, I am still constantly amazed by them.  Some of them I can't believe people would want to sell.  And basically all of the have huge, and I mean huge, basements.  Most of which are made to be living rooms, or rec rooms, or bedrooms.  It is great.  My parents looked a bunch today and got really excited.  There are just so many possibilities.  While I am gone this weekend at the Ladies Retreat James is going to start calling realtors and set up appointments to meet with them and look at houses.  And he will also book the plane tickets.  Hopefully, this will all happen very smoothly.  I might also start selling some of our stuff early too.  Also, don't forget people that I will be gone this weekend so I won't be able to write in this journal until Sunday night.  Hopefully I will have some great pictures to show you. 

     So tomorrow James will be telling his mom and dad that we are moving.  Honestly I am glad that I will not be there for it, because I think that I would get too upset and start crying.  I hate the thought of them not getting to see Isaiah and Evelyn.  I know it sounds selfish, but I can't help but think that it would be great if our whole family just decided to move up there too.  lol   It would just make me feel better. 

     Another great thing is that Pastor Rob said that I can still write this journal our for the church even after I move.  That made me so happy.  It would really help me to feel connected to people here and my family and friends could read it so they can also feel connected to me.  And, you guys can read about how miserable I am with everyone I love gone.  lol   

     You know what is nice though, is that so far everyone seems to think that it will be really great for us and they are excited for us.  It is really nice to have that kind of support, and it makes me feel like us going is really ok.  I have really been feeling good about this whole thing.  Everyday I get more excited about it.  Anyway, I have a big day tomorrow...so I better go.   I need some sleep.  Have a great weekend, I know I will.  Bye.

Oh my gosh I keep forgetting that thing....UGH!!!  I'll never get through them all at this rate.  Sorry.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

3.)  To produce the fruit of maturity.
       Eccles 7:3, 1 Peter 5:10

 

9/14/05
11:14pm

     Ok, I suppose that you all want to know what the big announcement is.  Well, I'll tell you.  Do you remember when I told you before about the small small chance that we might move to Ann Arbor, Michigan?  Well, we are going to move.  We decided last night and made it official.  We have started making a moving plan, what we have to do first and stuff.  Making plans for James and my dad to go up there and find a house that they like and start putting a bid on one.  Obviously that means that my parents are moving with us, they will be selling their house and we will all be selling almost all of our furniture and unimportant belongings.  I am hoping that we can get a moving company to ship all our stuff and cars, and maybe even the dogs.  Or at least our bigger dog Dusty.  Let me tell you,this was not an easy decision.  I spent most of my day today crying because I had to call people I love and tell them.  Amazingly enough though, everyone so far has been very supportive and thinks that it is a great opportunity for us.  Better schools, better housing, better money.  I am just going to miss so many people.  I had numerous times tonight at the bible study where I almost lost it because I kept thinking about how much I am going to miss everything that was happening there.  I don't want a new church or a new pastor.  I love what I have and what I have works.  It is going to be very hard.  Of course we will come back down and visit people for holidays and the kids birthday's.  So we will still come to church at different times in the year...but I am going to miss it so much.  I seriously cried a lot today.  One of the only pluses is that my friend Tiffany wants to try to come up with us for a few days at the very least and help us get settled. I am so happy about that.  I hope that she can, it will be hard to find a babysitter for her kids while her husband is working.  Ugh, so much to think about.  How to get the stuff we want to keep there, getting the cars there, the dogs...and maybe, maybe, me having to fly up there!!!!  I don't know if I can do it to be honest.  I just don't know.  I do know that eventually I will have to, but I am utterly paralyzed by my fear of it.  Oh...and by the way, James has not told anyone in his family that we are doing this, he hasn't even mentioned to anybody that we were thinking about it!!!  He called his mom and dad today and invited them over for dinner Friday, but he forgot that I won't even be here.  I don't know what he thinks that he is going to be cooking.  Spaghetti I guess.  Maybe shake n bake chicken.  lol  He can't do much.  Good luck to him. 

     Wow, I just found a company that will ship your animals anywhere in the country.  That would be so helpful.  I don't mind putting the money out there for this kind of stuff if it's going to make everything cheaper.  James is applying for a job at the Borders Corporate office in Ann Arbor Michigan and it sounds like the perfect job for him.  And I imagine that he would be getting paid quite a bit.  That would be exciting.  Although even if he doesn't get a job we can still move because his current boss said that James could keep his job and just work from our new home over there via the internet.  So that would be great.  I saw this one house on a webpage that listed houses for sale and it was beautiful and had a huge huge yard.  Of course it also had no fencing.  But we could always get one installed, and based on the pictures the inside looked amazing too.  And it was only going for 339,000.  It was 5 bedrooms and 2 1/2 baths.  WOW. 

     Anyway....so today though besides crying a lot and being sad, I did go to that bible study and i really did enjoy it.  I think that I would have enjoyed it better had the baby not been with me, simply because she can be a handful when it comes to noise and feedings and I wanted to eat some of the food and read a long in the bible.   But Cathy Patterson was so very sweet because once Evelyn started crying some she offered to hold Evelyn and actually Evelyn seemed happier with her than me.  I did enjoy the study though and I am hoping that I can go again next week.  Isaiah was very good and didn't cause any trouble.  Ron Shindy was the teacher tonight because the regular teacher couldn't be there.  He did a good job I thought and Pastor Rob sang some songs that were really good.  Evelyn got freaked out at first from the guitar, but she got used to it in no time. 

     Isaiah and I also had a nice time together today because my mom took Evelyn.  Isaiah and I went to the park, and we got ice cream together.  It was fun.  Before that my dad and cousin finished all the cementing.  It looks really great.  But, for now I need to go to bed.  My contact lenses have been in too long and I can't see out of them very good right now.  Please pray for us that God's will be done in our lives right now in regards to this move.  I know that if God wants this to happen that he will make it all very easy, and if not, he will make it impossible.  Bye.

 

9/13/05
11:59pm

     Well, my dad was still feeling sick today so he did not come and do the cementing.  But tomorrow he is for sure.  So hopefully it will get done very soon.  But today I did do quite a few things.  I took a walk with Isaiah that Evelyn was actually good for.  We went for a pretty long one too.  I think that it tired him out too.  After that he later went to my mom's house, and then when he came home we went to the park and then to the grocery store.  The horrible thing about going to both those places was that the entire time, really, the entire time, Evelyn was busy spitting up her entire bottle that I had fed her.  That's all she did.  Her bib was soaked, her shirt was soaked, and the burp rag I had brought was nasty too.  Basically she smelled bad.  So that was no good.  Then, when I got home, I put her in the house and Isaiah and I got all the food in, then, while I was putting it all away, Evelyn starts screaming because she is hungry, (no wonder since she threw it all up)  Isaiah wants a snack, and I am trying to put all the cold food away.  It was slightly crazy and I kept thinking to myself that some silence would be really great. 

     James started his own blog recently.  It is this new thing that yahoo has called 360.  But I guess that you have to be yahoo member to see it, and also James has his settings set so that only people he allows to have view it can see it.  But he has written in it two times already and I read them and thought that one was funny, and another was more serious.  I think that it will be good if he keeps this up because I have always wanted him to write letters to the kids for incase he ever dies while the kids are young, but he won't...so this way I can just print up his blog someday and put those somewhere for them so when they are older they can read them.   I am so into that. 

     I am really hungry right now.  My tummy is growling.  Tomorrow though I am sure that I will be full, because I am going to the bible study at the Green's house and they are having a pot luck.  I still need to figure out what I am going to bring.  I might bring desert, or I might bring some kind of a side dish, who knows.  Anyway...I know this was kind of a boring journal, but I have to go...but...tomorrow I will have a big announcement to make...BIG...HUGE.  So be ready.  Bye.

    

9/12/05
10:08pm

     Do you ever have one of those days when you know you are supposed to do something, but the task looks like it will just take so long that you keep putting it off, putting it off, until you are positive that you don't want to do it because now the task has become even bigger due to the fact that you waited for so long.   Well, remember how last night I did not do the dishes?  Well, they are still not done.  lol  And of course, that just means that all the dishes from today have been building up as well and now when I look at the mess I just keep thinking that it would be great to have the power to just make it all vanish into thin air.  That would be great.   But, I have to get it done, because I only have one more clean bottle, and I am going to need it at some point.  But hey, at least my living room is clean right. 

     Ok, so this weekend I am going to the Ladies Retreat with my friend Tiffany.  It is going to be a lot of fun.  Well, today I just found out that James and his friend Kevin are going to drive to Los Angeles on the 23rd to be at a store to celebrate the 10th anniversary of this movie called Mallrats directed by Kevin Smith.  It is a big favorite of ours and we love all his films.  A bunch of the actors are going to be there, and you can get autographs and buy merchandise and all that kind of stuff.  They will drive down Friday night, go to the thing on Saturday, and then come home Sunday.  So, I will be gone this weekend, and James will be gone the next.  Well, I just happened to know that Tiffany is having the same situation at her house.  After our trip, her husband is going on a camping trip with some buddies.  Her parents were also going on a trip, and she is supposed to stay at their house in Galt to watch their dogs.  Well, I said hey, why not just bring the dogs here and you can spend the weekend here with me, then we won't have to be alone.  It will be so much fun.  And she will actually be short one kid too because her oldest will be in Disney Land with another set of grandparents.  So here we are getting to spend two whole weekends together without our spouses!!  It is going to be so much fun just getting to hang out and do whatever we want.  I am really looking forward to it.

     However, I can't believe that James and Kevin are actually going to drive down to L.A. for what is essentially a autograph session.  I mean sure, you get to meet a bunch of the stars of the movie, but still, that's a long drive.  I would only do that if it was on the way to somewhere I was already going. 

     Ok, so in other news, the new TV season is almost upon us...and dear God do I wish that I had Tivo.  Those of you who have been reading this from the beginning know that I am addicted to certain shows.  Survivor, Amazing Race, American Idol, The Apprentice, the ever great but annoying ER, and I think I am going to be adding LOST to my schedule this year as well.  I am really excited to be seeing all of these, but I am also mad because I know that the stupid television people are going to have some of these shows on back to back.  And since I don't have a VCR or Tivo, I am going to be switching channels a lot.  Driving me crazy.  Also, there is a new talk show coming out called "The Tyra Banks Show".  Two guesses on who's going to be watching that show the most, yep, the guys.  But I can't blame them, she is gorgeous.  Oh, I almost forgot, I liked that new show on Sunday called The War at Home.  And we always watch Family guy.  That show is simply hilarious.

     Well, I suppose that I should get to cleaning up my kitchen.  If I hurry up I can get done with everything before midnight.  That would be something new.  Tomorrow my dad is going to  try to finish the cement work in our yard...lets hope nothing else goes wrong this time.  Also, please continue to pray for my trip to the Ladies Retreat with my friend Tiffany, I really want her to have a good time and not feel pressured, or uncomfortable.  Oh my gosh, I just realized that I have been forgetting that whole 25 Reasons thing. I am so sorry about that.   Here it is...nite.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

2.) To produce the fruit of joy.
   Psalms 30:5, 126:5-6

P.S.  On the right hand side of this page I added some of my favorite websites.  If you would like to check them out, simply click on one.

    

9/11/05
11:08pm

     Well, I had a busy day, and it made me tired.  Yet here I am, everyone is in bed except me.  I still have dishes to do, but I find myself once again contemplating the idea of "just skipping it".  That's what James always tells me to do.  But of course in the morning after breakfast, he isn't the one who has to clean an even bigger mess up.  Church was good today.  I especially enjoyed Sunday school class.  I felt like I learned a lot.  I thought that since I was so tired that I would fall asleep during church service sitting in the comfortable pews, but I managed to stay wide awake for that also.  I was pretty proud of myself.  I was so tired because Evelyn had a bad night last night, she kept getting cold.  Normally this wouldn't happen because she would be wearing a pajama, but she only has like 5, and they were all dirty.  So she would kick off her blankets, like most babies do, and get cold, then wake up crying.  So, after we left my grandma's house we went to Target and I bought her four 3 packs of pj's and then I also got her some long sleeve onesies and pants.  After all, it's getting cooler out.  That is the one thing that is really bad about the first year of a babies life, they go through clothes like mad.  And unfortunately, instead of people buying me clothes that would be appropriate for whatever season she would be in for whatever age, people bought me all summer clothes.  And don't get me wrong, I love them all and they are great, but I can't have her wearing a dress in January.  So I spent seventy bucks on her today, and I know that in like 2 more months I will be doing it again. 

     After we finally got home I left 40 minutes later to go to the wedding reception for the recently married Mellissa and Roger Parker.  I finally remembered to give her the cd with all her wedding pictures on it.  Hopefully she will enjoy those.  I bought her a really nice scrap book wedding album a while back, hopefully she will get to use those in there.  I had left the kids with James since I was going to only be gone for two hours, but as I was leaving I started talking to Christine outside and next thing I knew the sun was going down. I asked her what time it was and she said 7pm.  MY GOSH!!  Poor James.  I was supposed to be home way before that to cook dinner.  When I got in my car it turns out that I had missed two calls from James on my cell phone.  He was hungry, but he wasn't able to get dinner started with the kids there.  My mom was on her way to help him.  I find it amazing that I can do it everyday though.  Whatever.  lol  So I got home as fast as I could only to find that Evelyn was in a very bad mood, and once I took her she immediately started spitting up all over me.  I think she got me 5 times before I put her in the shower with me so we both wouldn't smell like puke anymore.  I'm telling you, that girl got me really good.  After a little but of time had gone by and we were all on the couch together, James said, "See, your home now and everything is running smoothly again."  I think that was sweet.  At least he realizes that I have this job down packed. 

     I talked briefly to Glen and Renee Green at the reception today.  I was asking about the bible study they have at their house and weather or not kids would be welcome.  They said that Andrew Harrison has come before and he had no problem, so I think I am going to go.  I have been wanting to be a part of a bible study again for such a long time.  I really enjoy the group aspect of it.  Evelyn should be fine for it, and Isaiah can always play his game boy, and Glen said they can put a movie in too for him.  I thought that was very nice of him.  I guess this week is a pot luck, so I will have to think of something good to bring.  Nothing too big though, because I have a car seat as it is to carry. 

     You know what's horrible?  I spend way to much time worrying about what could happen.  I worry about what I have said and if it might make someone mad.  Or if I said something that might get interpreted wrong thus making someone mad at me.  I am only thinking about this because James mentioned something to me tonight...and then after that I started getting all worried.  Unfortunately for me though this does happen.   I saw one thing, and people take it to me something other than what it actually meant.  Anytime that I have been chatting with a lot of people I do that to myself.  Especially after big family events.  Oh my goodness I drive home going over every conversation I had and I try to make sure I didn't say anything that could be taken the wrong way.  This is a bad way to live I might add.  Anyway, like I said, James mentioned something tonight that got me thinking about that.  Strange.  Anyway, my eyes are feeling tired, so I am done.  Nite all.

    

9/10/05
10:29PM

     Well, today was a hard working day.  My dad and my cousin started the cementing today.  There was major problems though.  When they first got here, they brought a new wheel barrow.  Then they left, and came back with the cement, which is in this huge huge thing that is attached to my dad's truck.  Anyway, so they grab the wheel barrow, and as soon as they put some cement in it they realize that the wheel is flat!  Flat!  So of course that makes it very hard to move the cement, and of course my dad was incredibly mad, because the longer they cement sat in the thing the more it dried.  So James and I started helping out and getting the cement out as fast as possible.  They got half of it done though in the end, used up all of the cement in the trailer.  It looks really good though and I am excited about it getting done though and I keep on thinking about what am I going to put over there?  I would like to put the BBQ over there, and also I would like to get a nice table and chair set with an umbrella.  I have always wanted to have one of those.  It would make me feel grown up.  That sounds silly doesn't it?  But really I have always felt like when you have that outside patio set, that just kinda means you are settled.  You know what I mean? 

     Also today I went to the new shopping center on 8 mile road with James and the kids and returned the "expensive" pants that I got there.  The lady who was helping me seemed to be very shocked that I would return these pants that she thinks, and I quote, "Will last forever."  I mentioned to her that I bought two really cute pairs of pants for like twenty bucks each but for whatever reason she did not make a comment about that.  I thought that was really hilarious.  I mean what could she say right, there were other customers around me. 

     Anyway, so tomorrow is church, and I think that is actually all we have to do.  So I am going to cut this short today...and actually go to bed on time.  If you consider midnight on time.  lol  Nite

 

9/9/05
11:01pm

     Today was better in regards to bad things happening.  No one got their finger cut off, no one had a potty accident, and James had me go shopping tonight to try to find cute pants that fit me but were cheaper than that one pair.  Strangely enough, I did find some, at Wal-Mart of all places.  Usually I can't find cute pants there, but I did, and they were only twenty bucks each, so that was nice.  Tomorrow James and I will go to Lane Bryant to return the other pants and get our money back.  This will make James very happy.  I on the other hand am just happy that now I have 4 pairs of pants to wear.  And I can get rid of all my ugly maternity pants.  It really helps a girl feel good about herself when she has something nice to wear that compliments her shape.  Otherwise, we just feel awkward.

     I went to JC Penny's first to look for clothes and was seriously discouraged by the fact that they had no jeans whatsoever in my size.  Not a one.  I mean isn't that kind of mean?  That is a big department store, they should be catering to the entire public, not just the people size 16 and under.  That really bugs me. 

     James is sitting next to me, and as I look over at his game Battlefield that he is playing, I am amazed at just how many people around the world are on this thing all playing at the same time trying to kill each other.  It's pretty neat actually, and if I was even remotely good at a game like that I would probably play too, but I know I would be horrible, so why even bother.  I do like playing video games though...I hope that I haven't led you to think other wise.  It's just that for one, I don't usually have the time.  I have a house to run.  Second, if I were to play a game around Isaiah, he immediately wants to play too, and third, unlike James, I do not like to play for 8+ hours in one day.  That just seems like a crazy thing to do. 

     I just realized that while I am at the Ladies Retreat I am going to miss church.  Of course they will have church service there, but it really isn't the same.  I like my church best.  I hope that James still goes to church that Sunday even though I will be gone.  I know that it might seem easier for him to just skip it, since he will have the kids to himself, but I hope that he goes anyway. 

     Tomorrow my dad, and my cousin Rueben, are going to start pouring the cement in the back yard.  I am so excited about that.  It is going to be great to start seeing some actually cement going in there.  We had to by some temporary plastic fencing though to put up so that they the dogs won't get in there.  I know that Dusty, our big dog, will try to.  I can just imagine the mess she would make. 

     The house is clean tonight, and I must say that the kitchen is clean because James did it all.  What a guy.  At one point tonight I made a negative comment about myself, and James in turn made a very positive comment.  When I asked him if it was true, and he said yes, I said, "You are a good husband."  And then he said, "You are a good wife."  To which I couldn't help but laugh a little bit, because it seemed so cheesy and rehearsed.  But I like that kind of stuff.  I love when James is romantic with words.  I miss when I used to get poems from him. 

     A long time ago in Sunday school class, Tom Lane read from a paper where he had listed the 25 Reasons that Christians Suffer.  He only read a few, but I wanted to read them all.  I found them on a webpage and wanted to share them with you all.  So I will put one on her each day.  Here is the first...nite.

25 Reasons Christians Suffer

1.) To produce the fruit of patience
      Romans 5:3, James 1:3-4, Hebrews 10:36

 

9/8/05
9:57pm

     Well, I am sure some of you noticed that if you click on one of the new pictures it opens up, but not as the picture it is supposed to be.  It turns out that James didn't do something that he was supposed to do.  So, now everything is fixed...click away. 

     Tonight something sad happened.  I was clipping Evelyn's finger nails while she was eating, and then it happened, I accidentally clipped off a chunk of her skin.  She started screaming up a storm, and of course her finger was bleeding quite a bit.  Considering how small her fingers are, it was a pretty big chunk.  I felt horrible, and James ran to get a band aid.  It bled for quite a while, but seems to have stopped now.  I am worried about her having a band aid on over night though, I mean what if she starts to suck on her finger and it comes off...what if she chocked on it?  It just worries me.  After the band aid was put on her finger, James was standing near by and said to me, "I am trying very hard not to blame you."  I can't blame him, it is my fault.  I feel so bad.  I hate it when little babies are hurt.

     Although, that was just the end to what was already a semi bad day.  I went out today to do a few things, James got paid so I made a trip to the bank, and then to Target to buy Isaiah some new underwear.  Well, after that I went to Lorenda's house to hang out, while I was there Isaiah was playing outside in her yard, and when I went out to check on him I was very saddened to discover that he had had an accident in his pants.  If it had just been a number 1, it wouldn't have been so bad, but it was also a number 2.  So that was a major pain in the butt to clean up, thankfully I had some extra stuff for him in my car.  Then, Evelyn decided to spit up all over me two different times, causing me to smell pretty yucky.  Then, because James decided that he wanted to work from home today, I was thinking that it was Friday, which was a day when my mom does not pick up Isaiah.  Well, while I was at Lorenda's James called to say that my mom was at our house waiting for me.  I couldn't believe that I forgot, but I had no problem blaming James for it.  lol  So...just a bunch of stuff that went wrong today.  But out of all of it, I must say that I loved being in the car with the two kids, and watching how much Isaiah loves his sister.  Every time she would spit up, he would grab her bib and wipe her mouth.  He is so incredibly sweet.

     Well, so besides buying Isaiah some cute new underwear, I didn't do much.  Although I do need  to go to the grocery store in a little bit, so I guess that I should end this, I want to try for a midnight bed time again.  Maybe sooner.  Nite

 

9/7/05
10:45pm

     Ok, so I am so happy because when my mom took Isaiah today, Evelyn was sleeping, and that meant that I got to take a nice long nap.  It felt so good.  I didn't even care that it was kind of hot in my room.  Sleep just feels so nice.  It especially helped since I took Isaiah to the park 2 times today.  And it's not like I just went there for a little while either, the first time we stayed for like and hour and a half.  The only reason that we left was because I could tell that Evelyn would want to eat soon.  The kid has endless energy. 

     I am however so glad that no one came to my house to visit me today as the whole place was a disaster.  I didn't clean up last night, and didn't clean up today until tonight, so you can only imagine the destruction.  James is going to work from home tomorrow instead of going in to work.  I just know that is going to throw my whole schedule out of whack.  I hate it when he does that.  It just complicates my day.  I know that sounds stupid, but it really does.  Not to mention the fact that he can't seem to help but make fun of my soap operas.  He always make snide remarks while I am watching them.  I usually have to fire dirty looks at him, but I think that just makes him want to do it more.  Oh well. 

     I am putting some new pictures on here today.  Nothing with people, obviously, but I wanted to show off some pictures that I took while at Lodi Lake a while back, and also one picture of a flower that was in my yard.  I think that they look great.  Of course to put them on here we had to lower the resolution, so they aren't as big, but the copies that I have here at home can be blown up to be a 8x10 or bigger and look amazing.  I was thinking that it might be nice someday when my kids are all in school to take some photography classes.  I think that I might enjoy that, and then maybe I could start taking pictures for people a little bit once I am good.  And I wouldn't have to charge them for the film or developing, since I can just put them all on a cd and they can get it done themselves where ever they want.  It's an idea.  I need to remember to take my camera with me on the Ladies Retreat too.  I will be able to take some great photos there.  On that same note, my best friend Tiffany will be coming with me on that trip now.  I am really excited.  I know that she has a lot of questions about God, Jesus, and religion in general, so I hope that she will be able to find what she is looking for, and even if she doesn't, at least I would have gotten to hang out with her for a whole 3 days.  That alone will be fun.   We were on the phone today talking about it, and she seems nervous and excited all at the same time.  Being in that environment is going to be very new to her, she has only been to a church twice in the last 7 years.  I hope she likes it. 

     In other news, James wasn't too happy about the cost of the one pair of pants that I bought.  He wants us to go shopping this weekend and try to find other pants that fit me for cheaper.  If we can find a pair, then he wants me to take just that one back.  I suppose that I can live with that.  I just don't enjoy shopping for pants right now.  I don't know about you girls out there, but it is depressing when you are in the store, you hold a pair of pants up, and they look huge as it is, so I am sure they will fit, and then they don't, they are too small.  It isn't fun.  It's just sad.  But, I will go do it. 

     Anyway, I am going to cut this short tonight, and am going to bed.  YEA!!  Maybe I will actually get 8 hours of sleep.  We'll see.  Nite.

 

9/6/05
11:43pm

     I was so tired today.  I don't really know why.  But I let Isaiah play his video games a little bit longer than usual so I could lay down and relax some.  Evelyn actually slept a bunch today, I figure that she was making up for all those days when she hardly slept at all.  I did go shopping today.  I couldn't find any pants at Kohl's, but I did find three at Lane Bryant, one of the pairs of pants that I bought was way too expensive, and to be honest James is still contemplating letting me keep it.  Evidently it is a name brand, Seven, and it cost $90.00, I couldn't believe that!  But unfortunately, I have like 2 pants that I wear all the time and am constantly washing, so I really needed pants.  It is so hard to find ones right now that look good on me.  Most of the time they fit me, but just don't look right.  It can be very frustrating.  Woman have so many curves, and we are all so very different, it is just crazy trying to find good clothes.  For two jeans and one corduroy pant, I paid $203.00.  Freaking ridiculous.  If it wasn't for the fact that I need pants very badly, especially for the Ladies Retreat. 

     By the way, something really great happened today.  I actually witnessed to somebody today.  A close friend of mine who is not saved was talking to me on the phone and this person started asking me questions and before I knew it we were deep into a conversation.  I said things that I normally would not, and was so thankful that God gave me the right words.  I hope that our conversation can lead to this person getting saved, but even if it doesn't right now, I know that I planted a whole bunch of seeds that will hopefully bring forth fruit someday.  I was so excited about the whole thing, that I couldn't help but cry after we hung up the phone.  It was such a good feeling.  Please pray for this friend of mine, who will remain nameless for now, and also pray for me that I will continue to be able to say the right things, and answer questions to the best of my ability. 

     Man, it is already after midnight and I still have to clean up from dinner.  I didn't cook it until late, because I wanted James to eat too.  I don't usually mind doing all this stuff late at night, but tonight I am still tired, and I would love to just get 10 hours sleep.  You know I used to get that all the time before I had Isaiah.  I loved it too.  I really do love sleeping.  I realize that some people think it is a waste to sleep your day a way.  But I think that it is a great thing.  I love sleeping the day a way, and just being a bum and staying in bed to watch TV.  If I had a TV in my room I would do that a lot.  Of course, I doubt that the kids would let me.  Well, I am going to just leave the dishes, who cares.  I can do it in the morning.  I need sleep.  Talk to you all later.  Bye.

    

9/5/05
11:29pm

     Ok, I have a few different things to write about, and hopefully I will remember them all.  First of all, my mom and dad and I went to church today and we got a lot done, but alas, still not done yet.  In time I guess.  But, after all that was over, James and the kids and I went to Kevin's house for a BBQ.  We got to meet some of his other friends and they were all so nice.  This one girl, Lauren, had the coolest shoes!!  She was wearing flip flops, and at one point I saw her grab her shoe and use it to open a beer bottle.  I thought that was kind of strange.  And after I saw her do it a couple times for other people I asked about it.   Her flip flops had a built in bottle opener on the bottom.  She said that it wasn't a feature that was advertised when she bought them, and she didn't even realize it right a way, someone else noticed it on her shoes and she couldn't believe it.  How neat is that?  I mean you gotta figure that for people who do drink, and are often in need of an opener, that is a priceless item.  It was so funny to see everyone giving her their drink and she just took off her shoe, and opened the bottle.  Hilarious.  I have never before seen that.  I think it is an awesome idea.  Whoever thought of that is going to make a lot of money. 

     Ok, second thing.  I don't know if you remember, but a while ago I mentioned how I don't like it when people look at me in my car, and I don't like at them.  I will make it a point to turn a way from my window if I know a car is coming up on my side.  So...driving home tonight and as we are driving there is a car going by us on the drivers side of the car, and James is driving.  As that car drives past us, James turns, and stares into their car for like 2 seconds!!  I said, "Why did you do that?"  He said, "Do what?"  I said, "Why did you stare into their car? I hate it when people do that to me."  He said he likes to see what people look like.  Please.  That is so dumb, who the heck cares what they look like?  You don't need to stare into their car.  Ugh, that drives me nuts.  I can't stand it.  (Don't worry Iona, I'll let you look in my car though.  lol  )  Why do people have to do that?  Can't people just drive and mind their own business?  I told James that maybe everyone who drives should just have pictures of themselves pasted to their car, so he can just glance at that...he said no, because it's just as easy to look in the cars.  lol  I can't believe that man. 

     OH MY GOODNESS!!!  Something amazing just happened.  Yes, amazing things can happen after midnight in my house.  I was sitting here just getting ready to type some more, and James was sitting next to me doing what else, playing a video game...when all of a sudden, I hear Isaiah screaming James' name.  I nudge him since he has ear phones on (he gets Isaiah at night, I get Evelyn) and tell him Isaiah is calling, he asks me to get him instead...he is in the middle of a war.  So, as I set my laptop down, I hear Isaiah running like mad through the hall, then I hear the obvious noise of urine.  I run into the bathroom and Isaiah is STANDING in front of the toilet but because he didn't put the seat up it was getting all over the place.  So he was crying while going because he knew it was all wrong.  I didn't care though, I yelled for James to come in, and while I was cleaning up the mess we started telling him how proud we are of him for actually waking up and going to use the bathroom!!!  I just can't believe it!!  He woke himself up, and after we didn't come and get him he opened his door and ran into the bathroom himself.  Do you get it people?  HE WOKE UP!!  This is like a major mile stone.  I mean if he can master this he will be set.  We made it a point to tell him that when that happens again he does not have to call us, he can just get up and run in there.  Sorry if I seem a little over board about this, but for me this is big, and I am sure that anyone who is a mom can probably remember the excitement of this time.  I can't help myself. 

     LOL  I just looked over at James, and laughed my butt off, because while he is playing, he is moving his mouth as if he is talking, but no noise is coming out.  It was so funny.  I couldn't even tell him at first what was so funny because I was laughing to hard.  Wow, I really am married to a computer geek.  How did that happen?  Anyway, I guess that's it, I better go to bed now...it's getting late and I need some rest.  Have a great day people...remember to thank God for it.

            

9/4/05
9:56pm

     I am so sorry that I didn't write last night.  As you may recall Saturday was the day that I was to be alone with Evelyn.  James and Isaiah went to Jeff's house to play video games all day.  Well, I had James take my computer with him for Isaiah to play his games on too, I thought that they would be home in time for me to write this out still.  Well, Isaiah was up very late, and he was going to have them both just stay the night, but Isaiah didn't have his elephant, and he can't sleep without it.  So around midnight they came home, and by the time we both got done talking about our day it was way to late to be writing this out. 

     But, let me tell you this, I had such a great day.  James and Isaiah left at around noon, and I looked around, and thought to myself, "Hhmm, what do I want to do first?"  So, I relaxed, watched some TV, talked to my cousin in Hawaii for awhile, went and visited Tiffany while she was at her mom's house in Galt.  Then, I came home, watched two movies that I own and haven't seen for awhile...which was great.  I had so much fun, and I can't wait until the Ladies Retreat...I just want to get a way for awhile and enjoy myself.  I don't even mind sleeping on an uncomfortable mattress.  Just kidding, they aren't that bad.  Anyway though, so today was good, and even though for whatever reason our alarm clock did not go off this morning, we still made it to church on time and Isaiah did great over there in the nursery.  HE used the bathroom and everything.   Sunday school and church was good today.  I really enjoyed how every time Dan Malloy tried to continue on with the music someone would stand up with something else to say to the congregation.  It was really amusing. 

     I have a pretty big day tomorrow.  I have to pick up my mom and dad at their house and then we are going to head over to church to hopefully finish up the nursery painting.  I think that we can do it.  After that I am going to go to Stockton with my mom to Toy's "R" Us because she wants to get Isaiah a toy chest to put all his stuff in at her house.  I think it's funny that she has gotten all kinds of toys for him, and in like 9 months she is going to have to start buying toys for Evelyn too.  Well, I shouldn't say that she has to, but she will feel like she has to.  Christmas this year is just going to be crazy.  How much you wanna bet that Evelyn gets way more gifts then Isaiah does simply because everyone is going to want to buy a bunch of cute clothes for her.  But that is a long time from now. 

     Also...today I had a sandwich, but not just any sandwich, I put lettuce and tomato on it.  And...I ate it all.  I was pretty proud of myself, and it actually tasted pretty good.  I think that it is just the idea of it being on there that grosses me out.  I just don't like the feel of lettuce, and I don't like food that has seeds in it either.  That child hood fear that always stuck with me that if I ate the seed, then it would grow inside of me.  Yes, I know that's not actually going to happen, but the thought is still there.  Just like how my aunt used to tell me that if I poked at my belly button too much I would die.  Yep, that's right, she was telling a little girl that.  She said it made me stop poking at it though...but now I don't like it being touched at all.  It's all her fault.  lol  I better go now, I have a big day tomorrow, after all that other stuff we are going to a BBQ at our friend Kevin's new place.  I need to get my sleep...nite.

9/2/05
10:39pm

     I am so happy that people in New Orleans and surrounding cities are finally getting the help that they need.  What a relief.  I was also very interested to find out a little bit ago that there are websites where you can offer to open up your home to house victims of the hurricane.   From what I understand from the news, there is already a family of 15 coming to California to live with some people.  I was thinking about that myself, that maybe I could offer that.  Of course, that is a very big deal, a very big undertaking.  Affects your whole life, and because of that it is something that needs thinking over. 

     Today James and I went shopping at Costco.  I was able to get quite a few things and saw a bunch of things that I wanted to buy.  There were so many great things to buy people for Christmas!!  I am going to do all my shopping there. 

     Ok, so now the time is 11:39pm, and I just spent about 45 minutes filling out an application online for Borders Books and Music.  My Lord it took forever.  I could not believe all the stupid questions that they ask.  They do this personality thing, and seriously I think they asked me a bunch of the same questions 3 times each but just worded them differently, you know, to try to trip me up.  I used to work for them, before I had Isaiah.  It was the best job I ever had.  I was thinking that it would be nice to work there again just for the holiday season and then we could have some good Christmas money you know.  That would be very helpful.  And then, maybe I could even use some of that money to buy myself that book shelf that I have been wanting.  That would be wonderful.  I really want a new all wood bookshelf.  A big one.  I have a lot of books, and I need room for when I get more.  I love to buy books, I just love having them, reading them, and I love buying things related too reading.  I love buying paper, pens, pencils, anything like that.  And I love finding interesting journals that actually have questions inside them for you to answer.  Those are fun.  I hope that I do get a call for an interview.  I could work evenings when James works from home, and Saturday and Sunday.  I think 4 days a week is pretty good. 

     Anyway, tomorrow James and Isaiah will be gone...and although I will still have Evelyn, I think it will be nice.  Honestly, I am hoping that they stay gone for a long time, I could use the quiet.  Maybe I will even go out just the two of us.  Visit some people.  I have really been in the mood to be alone lately.  I can't wait until the Ladies Retreat comes.  During the day they have a three hour period where you get to do whatever you want, and I am looking forward to using that to do nothing at all.  Nothing. 

     Well, that's all for now.  I will write more tomorrow.  Nite.

 

9.1.05
8:24pm

     I was sitting on the couch watching the news about New Orleans, when Isaiah came out and laid down next to me on the couch.  HE soon fell asleep.  I thought that it was so sweet, so I sat there for awhile holding Evelyn with one arm, and the other arm around Isaiah.  I love moments like that. 

     I can't seem to get enough of the news right now.  I keep on watching everything that happens to be on about the victims of the hurricane.  I don't know why really, because I usually don't concern myself too much when bad things happen that aren't around me.  Don't get me wrong, I do usually feel bad, but that is usually the extent of it.  For some reason though I am so saddened by this disaster.  I keep on trying to think of what the difference is, but I can't think of one.  I know that some of you will say that it is because I am a mother now, but that isn't it.  Other tragedies have happened since then and I will admit to being more sympathetic, but nothing like this.  James says that I am emotionally detached.  That is his word for it.  I don't know how I got that way...but I tend to only be concerned about people that I know, or if they are in a close proximity to me.  Actually, I usually don't admit this stuff to anyone, so I am not sure why I am writing about it now.  But, I am so whatever.  It isn't a good thing to be that way I realize.  I don't like it either, and I often pray to God to help me feel sympathy for those who I don't know.  Maybe those prayers are finally being answered, because I have been feeling very sad by this whole event.  Especially for the children, I realized today that there are children, little babies...I mean what do you do with them?  They need food, formula, diapers, warmth, baths, a clean place to sit for God's sake.  I just can't imagine the pain of trying to protect and take care of your children in a situation like that.  I am sure that being a parent over there right now is probably one of the hardest things to do. 

     Being a parent.  I am so glad that I am a mom...and I am so glad that God choose to let me be the mom of Isaiah and Evelyn. 

     Well, lets change the subject.  Today I took Isaiah to the park...it was a nervous venture, because he was only wearing underpants, not pull ups.  I made sure to show him where the bathroom was at the park, but he didn't need it.  He didn't use the bathroom at all, and because he did so good, we went to McDonalds and got hot fudge sundaes.  I don't know what it is about the hot fudge sundaes from there, but I love them.  McDonalds has great ice cream, but that is about it, I don't like most of there stuff, especially after watching that movie Super Size Me.  Wow, was that an eye opener.   Everyone should watch that. 

     Anyway, yesterday James told me that on Saturday he is going to spend the day at his friends Jeff's house again playing video games.  Or maybe I should just say "one" video game, because they actually only play Battlefield.   I told him that I didn't care, but that he should take Isaiah with him this time.  He said he didn't think Isaiah would have anything to do...lol...wow that's funny.  Duh!  The kid loves video games, and I have seen him play for more than 8 hours before when I gave him the chance.  All he has to do is bring the X-Box with him, bring his computer games, the GameBoy Advanced...and maybe a couple toys.  The kid will be fine, most likely he will just watch them play their game.  I was trying to find a way to have Evelyn gone too...so I could just be alone.  But no luck so far, my mom and dad are painting the inside of their house, so they can't.  I would really love to be alone all day long.  Being an only child I really need that sometimes.  It would also be a really great opportunity for me to paint.  Anyway, that is all for me, I am going to go now.  It is now 12:01am and I should get to the dishes, or maybe just get to bed.  Who knows.