05.31.05
9:09pm

Today was a good day. There was no major cleaning to do, no handy man work to do. All we had to do was relax. And it was really nice. It gave me time to sit and appreciate things. Such as James. There are certain things of importance, that James is really good about. Things that most women complain about, but that I do not, because James is a wonderful man, who is understanding, and sensitive to what is happening with me and not just with himself. At one point today I was thinking about this stuff while we were driving, and I couldn't help but feel all mushy towards him, and just hold his hand and tell him that I love him, and thank him for being the man that he is. I don't think that most people at church know the real James, at least not like I do, but honestly, you could not ask for a better person to be your friend. When listing his good qualities it is a pretty big list. He is funny, charming, intelligent, passionate, quirky, loving, nerdy, (yes that's good) wise, (yes he really is) honest, (when he isn't telling stories) and most importantly he loves God and his family more than anything else. I could go on further, like about what a wonderful husband he is, father, and how I really am so fortunate to have him in my life, but I won't, because that would just get boring. :-)

You know what I was thinking about today that was kind of a strange thing? I was thinking that if I was to die, that it would be easy for Pastor Rob to do my funeral, because he could just print up a bunch of things from this journal and read them off for people and talk about me from those. Isn't that strange though that I would think of that. Honestly I probably think about death a little bit too much. I have way to many concerns when it comes to that. How would my parents handle it, James, my kids, would James re-marry? And if he did, would she be good enough? Would he make sure that my mom and dad still saw the kids as much as they do. Would he let them be a big part of his and their lives still? Would my kids remember me, and what would they remember? Too much. I just hope that God gives me a long long life and lets me die in my sleep when I am in my late 90's. That is what I want. And yes, quite often I do pray for that. I can't help it. I want to live long enough to see Isaiah be a grandpa.

Right now I am holding Evelyn and typing with one hand...and doing a pretty good job too I might add. She is wide awake. Those eyes of hers still have not turned brown. I wrote down that they were in her birth certificate, because they did look dark, but they are actually a charcoal color. Like a beautiful gray. It will be so wonderful to see her when she is Isaiah's age, she will be gorgeous.

What makes a graduating high school teen kill six people the day of graduation? Check this article out to find out what I am talking about.

It is so sad. Practically killed his whole family, then killed himself. What could possibly be so bad to make that happen? According to the article this kid just had a great party to celebrate, his parents were good and proud. He was a typical happy teen, and the whole community knew the family and thought so too. Then, he goes and kills his grandparents, mom, dad, two friends, and seriously wounds his sister. Then, kills himself. Now I repeat, what on earth could have happened to this young man, that was so bad, that he had to go kill all these people? What made him think that this was the best course of action? It boggles my mind. I could understand, sort of, if he had some thing horrible happen to him, and killed himself because he thought that life just wasn't worth living, at least that would make some kind of sense. But I find it hard to believe that all those people he killed, including his grandparents, did something to warrant that. What a tragedy, really. I can't imagine something like that, and I also can't imagine what the sister must be going through, knowing that she is the only survivor.

Anyway. I think that I will end this on that sad note.  Bye.

P.S.   A 14 week old fetus was found dead in a garbage can today in Lodi, it was just on the news.  Heavenly father, please hold that baby in your arms, tight.  I can't help but cry right now. 

05.30.05
11:52pm

Have you seen the movie "Alfie"? I just finished watching it and it was a very intense movie, which was the one thing that I was not expecting from this particular movie. I so badly want to comment on all the big issues that came up in it, but I also do not want to blow any of it for people who have not seen it yet. So, I am at an impasse. And to be nice I will refrain from talking about it. Bummer. But it was excellent and I am glad that I watched it...especially since I was starting to get to the point of just returning it without seeing it. You know how it is, you have a movie sitting there waiting to be viewed, and you keep putting it off, until finally you just don't even feel like watching it anymore. But I am really glad that I did.

Here is another thing, snoring. I do not like snoring. Right now though that is exactly what is happening. James is beside me snoring away like it's nothing, when to me, it certainly is. Now, keep in mind that he never used to snore, not at all. It is only in the last 12-18 months that he has been snoring. It started off simple enough, just small little snores, and now, well now they are loud and annoying. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with kicking him awake to stop him, but I do still feel bad about it since I am then waking him up and disturbing his sleep, which I realize we both need a lot of these days. I am starting to think about getting him one of those nose breathing strips that I have seen advertised. Maybe that would help.

We decided to put Evelyn in her room for sleeping at night now. Having the bassinet in our room is only really good for mom's who are breast feeding, but as I am pumping my milk out and then feeding her with a bottle, it just doesn't make any sense to have her right next to me waking us both up at night. It makes more sense for her to just be in there and then whoever's turn it is to go get her can get up and go do that. Plus, then I can go back to sitting in here with the light on and not feeling bad about it.

Ok, so really, it is incredibly nice to be able to see James so much. I love having him on an actual vacation. No one is calling him for any help, he isn't working late in to the night. It is so nice. I get a big smile on my face when I see him actually finding time to do things around the house that he has been wanting to get to. It may sound silly, but it is these kind of weeks that really make me think that it will be really great someday when we (ok, I really mean James) retire. Getting to just be together and do whatever we want whenever we want. I feel like that will really be some of the best times. Well, with the exception of the time we are having right now with our kids, really, these are the best times.

You know what is strange? It feels strange to think that I have 2 kids. 2. I have 2 children. WOW! I mean this is it. I have something going on here. I have a husband, children, a home...a family. Not that I didn't before, but I think that now having Evelyn here, just really makes everything seem complete. Like this was what I was waiting for. This is the beginning of everything else that is to come. And you can't get any more exciting than that.

05.29.05
11:05pm

Today was full of activity. Church was fun, even though I was very tired. Isaiah got two birthday presents, and Evelyn also got more gifts. It is so nice to have a church family that is so supportive. Evelyn did so good in the nursery too, and everyone that saw her thought that she was just great. After church we went to my grandma's house, and then we went to my in-laws house. Isaiah played so hard today that he fell asleep on one of the bedroom floors. I love it when he plays outside so much. Sometimes it can be very easy to just let your kids be inside all day and do nothing. I try really hard to make sure that Isaiah gets plenty of activity. Every time I am at the park with him, it never fails that I see at least one over weight child. It is so sad for me. There is no reason for that. It is the parent who makes food choices for their kids, and it is the parent who allows the child to either be active, or be a TV addict. I am trying so very hard to make sure that Isaiah doesn't have to be over weight like I was and still am. If he is older and decides to do that, that's fine, but until then I am going to do my best.

Anyway, so we had a good time there, two of James' brothers were also there with their kids, and so we all got to enjoy watching them play.

I had a good time talking to all the girls, especially James' mom Patty. She is going to start Evelyn's mural this coming Saturday. It will be so cool to watch the process of her doing that. I love everything involving art.

James and I finally cleaned our bedroom tonight. It is crazy, I can actually see my carpet again. Now all we have to do is get all that computer junk off his side of the room. He really needs to get his stuff together.

You know what I don't understand? Camera phones. I just don't get it. What the heck is the point? They aren't high quality resolution, you aren't gonna take them home and print them up. It's not like they are big enough to see good. Basically they are just an extra feature that they can charge us more for. I just don't understand why people would want them. They just seem pointless.

So...sorry to once again cut this short. But I should go to bed. I need to start writing this earlier, so that way I can write more. Bye.

05.28.05
11:28pm

Well, Evelyn did gain some weight. I was so happy. Today was a full day, and I am very tired now. I actually had a lot of visitors. First, Pastor Rob and Cathy and Mary and her friend Christina came by to see the baby. Then, my mom came by, then, my Aunt Shari, and my cousins. So, by time everybody left I was feeling tired. But I had a good time. And that is all that matters. Tomorrow is going to be another big day though. We are going to church of course, since I am feeling pretty good now, and then my grandma's house, and then James' mom and dad's house. So odds are we won't even be home till the evening. Makes me feel bad for the dogs since for some reason they refuse to eat when we are not home.

I am currently watching the TV show Ellimidate. Honestly, I don't know why I am though, since it is simply depressing at how sluty all these girls can be. And even more sad that all the guys are equally sluty and all for the girls acting that way. And then, once in a while, they stick a girl on the show who is a virgin, and she pretty much gets bullied by the other girls for it like she is some strange alien or something. It is seriously disgusting the way people act. These shows are all about sex and nothing else. It's pretty much the guy saying, "Let me pick the girl who will come home with me tonight". Makes me sick. And, all these girls are the kind of girls that make guys think bad things about the rest of us.

Anyway, so there is one more stupid show. Not that there aren't many others to mention. But I think I will spare us.

So, I woke up this morning with Evelyn at 6am. Surprisingly I wasn't that tired. Although I have a feeling that if I don't go to bed soon tonight that I might have a problem staying awake tomorrow.

I had James take the tape off of my scar. Everything looks great so far. The only bad thing is that it is really itchy. Anyway, I know this is short, but I need to go to bed. See you all later. Bye.

05.27.05
7:19pm

Not only is Evelyn a wonderful baby, but she is beautiful as well. I love holding her, she is so soft, and cuddly, I just want to kiss her all the time. Having her here also brings back so many fond memories of Isaiah. I keep remembering when we first had him, and what it felt like to be holding him in my arms for those first days home. Evelyn is so good though, she doesn't cry hardly at all, and she makes the sweetest noises. It really is so wonderful having her here. It feels so good. I was worried about how I would feel about her, if I would have that whole post partum depression thing. And I was kind of blue for the first couple days. I was feeling bad about not feeling overly emotional for her, for not "feeling" all the love that I knew I had for her yet. I had to remind myself that all of this is a big ordeal, and I have o give myself time to adjust, and to get to know her and bond with her. And although I haven't had that moment of being overwhelmed with my love for her yet, I everyday that goes by I am realizing more and more how much I do love her. The comforting thing is that I went through this same thing with Isaiah when he was born. So knowing that helps a lot.

And you know what else? She is really strong. She has been holding her head up in spurts since she was born. Even her doctor was impressed with her today. We do have to take her back tomorrow morning though because I guess she isn't putting the weight back on that she lost, and so today we are trying hard to feed her more, and we'll see if she puts on any weight. Hopefully my milk will come in more soon too, I think it is almost there.

You know what I do hate though, is that I still look pregnant. I guess that is to be expected. After all, my tummy won't go away instantly. But that doesn't make it any less disappointing. My doctor said that after 6 weeks I could start exercising. So when that time comes I will be working really hard with my dad to get in shape. Honestly any shape other than this one would be good. Well, not any shape, a better looking one preferably.

James and I are watching a movie right now as I am typing. It is called Birth. It is that one with Nicole Kidman, and the kid who claims to be her dead husband. I think that I can assume this movie will make me cry. Now, lets think about this one. Your husband dies on the same day a baby boy is born. Ten years later, that boy finds you, and says that he is your husband. What do you do? Especially when this boy starts telling you things that only your husband should know. Intimate personal things. Honestly, I think that I would want to believe it. I think that I would want to hope with all my heart that it was true. Sometimes, when I think about what would happen to me if James died, well, it is unbearable. I don't know what I would do. I imagine I would crumble. I don't think that I could handle it. He is everything to me...everything. I can't imagine life without him...actually, the thought of him being gone is so unimaginable, that I can't even describe it. I just know that my whole heart would die...that the only thing that would make me function, would be the kids. ugh, I better not dwell on this too much, or I will end up crying. This movie is really good though. I highly recommend it. There is a very graphic nude scene though, so you should take that into consideration. But really this is a movie that makes you think. I am sitting here amazed at the emotion that is in this film. This film is full of strange strange emotions. I don't even know what to think.

Anyway, that is all for now. I am gonna go. Bye.

05.26.05
9:39pm

Wow I am so tired. Last night was bad. Really bad. I mean Evelyn woke up at 1am and kept me up till 6am. Not that she was being horrible or anything, it's just that she kept wanting food, then she would throw it up, want food, throw it up. Then she would need to be changed, and then she puked in all her hair...ect ect... Hopefully, now that we kind of have a flow going on, that won't happen again.

She is so good though. I dressed her up today and put a little hair band on her head, she was so beautiful looking. I went all gaga over her. We headed out today to try to buy a few things, ended up buying more than a few things. lol That is the norm though these day though. Oh my gosh I am so tired. Literally I am almost falling asleep while typing this up.

Physically though I am doing a lot better. I feel pretty good except for my back. I didn't do any cleaning though, I was very good about that, My mom came by and did the cleaning, and James got some yard work done. Everyone has been so great! I know that I said that I would try to get some pictures up, and I will I promise, just that it won't be tonight. sorry.

Isaiah is doing so good too. He doesn't seem to care about the change in the household, and he seems to really love the baby. He is always touching her, and giving her things. It is very sweet. I thought that for sure he would be acting strange, or something, but he seems to be very accepting of it all, and hasn't had a problem. We are so very blessed. He will sit next to her and just touch her face very softly, or bring her things that he thinks she needs. It all seems to be very natural for him. I really am so proud.

So tomorrow Evelyn has her first little check up, and I hope that everything is going good. My milk still has not come in yet, and so to make sure that she is still gaining weight, and eating enough, we have been giving her formula along with my attempts at breast feeding. This at least helps with the whole night time feedings, as tonight James can help me out more. He has been really good about helping actually. The house looks great, except our bedroom, which has been having major problems ever since he decided to try to take a part two of his computers to upgrade them, and now can't get them working. So all the parts are on the ground, on his side of the bed at least. But still, when you already see a mess, you can't help but let more of a mess happen. Thus the disaster that our room is currently in.

Did I mention that my feet and legs are swollen very badly. I mean really bad. So bad that my flip flops almost don't fit. It looks horrible, feels horrible, and I want it to go away. I am not sure why it hasn't yet...but I think that I am getting to the point of looking it up on the internet and seeing if there is anything I can do to hurry it along. I can not even describe what a strange feeling it is when I am walking.

So anyway, I guess that is all, I know it's not much, but it's not like I have been doing a whole lot. Talk to you later. Bye.

05.25.05
8:01pm

Well, I am home. James didn't do this journal last night because he was too tired. But I figured that is ok, he has a good excuse. After all, in a way he was a temporary single dad. And he had to do cleaning and all that. Well, on to the important stuff. Evelyn was born May 23rd 2005 @ 12:06pm. She weighed 9lbs 8oz and is 19 inches long. She has a very full head of dark brown hair and brown eyes. Right now she is in her bassinet sleeping next to my bed. She is very peaceful. The surgery went very well compared to my last one. I had forgotten that last time the epidural made me feel sick to my stomach during surgery, and I had thrown up. Well, this time they gave me a spinal tap, but it had the same effect. As it started to kick in, my stomach got all sick, and I dry heaved a couple times, and then threw up. I felt much better after that. After Evelyn came out , and they were removing the placenta, it happened again. Then, in recovery, I threw up about 12 more times or more. I ended up being in there a lot longer than I should have been. They didn't want to put me in my room till they knew I was ok. So, finally I was ok, and everyone got to see Evelyn. And I was pretty sore, but doing ok. James wanted to stay longer with me, but Isaiah was having a hard time staying in the room that I was in. So they went home...along with everyone else. It was just me and the baby. The hospital was really great to me, and the food was really good, the only thing that was bad was the dang hospital bed. It was very uncomfortable. Made my back hurt really bad. Actually it is still hurting because of it. I am also still very sore in my tummy, as I guess should be expected. I was walking around too much earlier, and I got some immense pain, I could hardly make it to where I was going. James had to help me back to the bedroom. It hurts pretty bad when I get up and down too. I think that the pain meds are helping though. I don't know if I am going to able to go to church on Sunday or not. I doubt that I would be able to sit in Sunday school in those chairs, and I just don't know how bad my pain in general will still be. Hopefully I will be feeling great, but I will have to wait and see.

James is doing a great job with everything. He made dinner tonight, and has kept things really nice. Isaiah seems to be having fun with him also. I think that since it was just him with Isaiah, that Isaiah thought it was all play time. I guess that shows who Isaiah thinks is the disciplinarian around here. Although really we both are. I guess I am just not as fun or something. (James inserts: she's really not as fun.)

lol...so, I am really tired, and I think that it would be a good idea if I went to bed as soon as possible. I am going to skip the question of the day today, and do a new quote later also. I will try to put up some new pictures tomorrow for you all to see. She gets prettier everyday.

Bye.

05.23.2005

Good day everyone. Eva is unavailable to write in her BLOG today because she is in the hospital with her baby. This is James and I'll be filling in for her today and tomorrow. The big news of the day is of course our new daughter Evelyn Arredondo Moore (no she's not named after her mommy). She's a big beautiful girl weighing in at 9lbs 8oz. She's 19" long with a full head of brown hair and brown eyes too! And of course most importantly, she is very healthy.

I just want to thank everyone who kept us in your prayers for a safe delivery. The whole thing went off without any complications. In fact the only thing that could possibly have gone better would have been if Eva did not suffer from the nausea that she did after the surgery. From what I understand, she was throwing up for quite awhile afterwards. We got to the hospital at 9:30 in the morning and they started the operation practically right on time at 11:30. I can't speak for Eva, but I'm pretty sure she would agree with me, this experience was WAY better than the first delivery. I am so happy to have a little baby girl now, and I just know she is going to be beautiful. I think she looks just like Isaiah did when he was a newborn... And just look at how cute HE is! lol. Eva is scheduled to come home Wednesday morning I think, so we are both looking forward to bring Evelyn into her new home.

I am really interested in seeing the differences between what kind of baby Evelyn will be compared to what kind of baby Isaiah was. It might be like night and day, but I am betting that they will be pretty similar. She has been feeding at regular 4 hour intervals like Isaiah did… well, maybe that’s just a big baby thing. I guess they don’t need to eat much right off the bat.

Well all in all, it was a pretty good day. I am going back tomorrow to visit her and I will update you after that.

05.22.05
10:43pm

Well today is the last night of me writing in here for a couple days. James will be taking care of this page in the mean time, writing it out and letting you all know how things went. We will arriving at the hospital at 9:30am tomorrow...and I am so excited to see Evelyn finally.

We are going to bring some toys for Isaiah while we are there...and James is going to bring his laptop, so that way he can watch a movie if he wants to also. I think that will help. I have written down two dinner ideas, and I think that my mom is going to cook them up for James so he won't starve. And I wrote down a bunch of notes for him too, so he won't forget to do certain things...you know, like feed the dogs.

The house is pretty clean though, and so I hope that everything will look pretty decent when I come home. Just have to wait and see.

I really enjoyed church today. I have never seen a live (or I guess you could say dead) pig get cooked before. I wish that I could have seen it before it was all cooked though, that would have been cool. I have always been fascinated by dead things. I always wanted to do autopsies for a living, but that would have required me going to school, and I was not in to that. So anyway, back on topic. The sermon today was excellent, another good week. And I liked the music alot too. The food afterwards was really great, I can't imagine how much work it must have taken to put something like that together. I get stressed out just having a big family party. Our church is really blessed to have so many people in it who want to help out in those ways.

And I am so excited to hear about all the changes that are going to be happening at church too, the new landscaping, windows, etc. It has looked the same there since I was a little girl. You know what would be cool...? If in that extra land that we have we built some actual classrooms, like they have in schools. I personally like the idea of having personal desks when I am learning during a Sunday school class. I think that would be a great idea. Then everyone could have their own personal space. I know I would love that. Either that or make it like a really cool children's nursery/ teenager area. You know, with TV's for video games, some comfortable chairs, a couple computers...a place where they could hang out. Maybe even have a small fridge for drinks. You could get a small stereo with cd player for music and have movie nights there. You just have to make it comfortable and inviting. I could design it!! Anyway, that's just an idea.

Tonight I went out with my two best friends Jessica and Tiffany. It is Jessica's birthday today and Tiff and I took her out to dinner. We went to the Outback Steak House. We had a great time chatting and laughing and spending a lot of money on food. And, since I am no good with tips, it turns out that I left way too much money for our waitresses tip. For some reason I thought that it was supposed to be 10%, but I was wrong according to James, and she ended up with $20.00. Oh well, she will be happy. Buy herself some nice shoes.

Well, I should go to bed, after all, I have a big day tomorrow. Wish me luck. Bye.

05.21.05
12:19am

Today I received a notice in the mail that the woman's retreat is coming up in September. Last year James didn't want me to go, because he would miss me too much. So I gave in after much discussion, and stayed home. But he promised me that he wouldn't mind if I went every other year. That would be this year. But guess what? When it comes around this time I will have a 4 month old baby, and how much you want to bet that he won't want me to leave again because then he would be alone with 2 kids. Honestly, this is retarded, I knew this would happen. I told him that I would probably get pregnant soon, and this would happen, and I was right. So now, I will probably not get to go again. I hate that.

Anyway, Isaiah is awake right now...I know what your thinking, it's after midnight, what is that kid doing up? I wish that I knew. He claims that he is done. That means that he is done sleeping. And he sure does look wide awake. So, I told him that he can stay awake in here with us until I am done typing this. I hope that I don't take forever. lol

Well, tomorrow is the last day of just the three of us. After that, no more going to the park with just Isaiah and James. No more sleeping in, probably...most likely. lol It is going to be such a new experience. And so much fun. I can't wait to see her.

Also, we went and saw the new Star Wars movie today. It was good, although certain parts were a bit cheesy. Isaiah was good for it though, he did get kind of fidgety towards the end, but I realized that was my own fault, as I gave him a bunch of M&M's. So after the movie we took him to the park, so he could run it out of him, and then we went out to eat. It was a good day. Oh, and I went to Kaiser to have my lab work done this morning, they took 3 things of blood, and even wanted a urine sample from me. I don't know what good that would do. But then they gave me a hospital bracelet to wear, and said that I have to leave it on until after my surgery. That I did find strange. I mean why do I need to have it on now? I am at home.

It's a big day tomorrow, church stuff, then go see my aunt who needs some help with stuff, and then that evening I am taking my best friend out to dinner for her birthday. After all that, I get to come home and pack stuff up. Whew! I am going to be tired. And I have to make sure that I don't eat anything after midnight, or have breakfast Monday morning. I am going to be so hungry.

Well, I think this kid needs to get back to his room. I don't know how he will take the bad news. See you all later. Bye.

05.20.05
10:59pm

Let me give you all some advice. Never, ever, let your dog go swimming in Lodi Lake when there is a duck right there in the water. Just don't do it!! Why? Let me tell you what happened to us this evening. So after James is done working at around 6pm we decide to pack up a picnic dinner and head over to Lodi Lake with the dogs for some fun. We get there, everything is fine, Isaiah is having fun. Well, when we are all done we decide to take the dogs for a walk. We knew we planned on letting Dusty swim, last time she was there with us she loved it, and even though she was off her leash in the water, she came back when we called. Well, she went in the water a couple times, and she was fine, but then, we did something dumb. We thought that it would be funny to let her get in right where this duck and her baby duck were. Stupidity must have been in charge of our heads, because looking back, this was obviously dumb. Anyway, so she immediately jumps in, and next thing we know, she is heading out pretty far chasing this duck. And although Dusty doesn't care about the baby duck, the mom thinks that her baby is in trouble, and so keeps going out farther and farther, to protect it. Basically, we tried calling Dusty back, but she wouldn't listen. I am not kidding when I say that she must have been out there swimming, with a decent current going on, for a minimum of 15 minutes, but it could have been longer. No matter what we did she wouldn't come back. At one point she had swam so far that I could just barely see her head. I thought for sure that she would get so tired that she would just go under and die. She was really far out there. Then, thankfully, a speed boat went by near where she was swimming, it must have scared her half to death because after that she came right to us. I think it made her forget all about the duck. Although the duck didn't trust her, and followed her all the way to us acting all tough. She was so tired that James had to pull her up out of the lake, and boy did we give her a spanking on her behind. Bad Dog!!! That's all I need is for Isaiah to watch our dog die. Coco, our little dog, was fine, she wanted nothing to do with the water. So on the way home we let her sit up front, since she was good and listened. But my goodness, what craziness. Never ever doing that again. Then of course when we got her back home she smelled awful from being in the lake for so long. So we had to take her out back, and give her a cold bath and wash her up good. Our whole car got full of dog hair too of course, so we had to vacuum that out, since we can't bring the baby home with dog hair flying around everywhere. So anyway, today's lesson, don't let your dog lose around water and ducks, unless your dog is very well trained and listens to you.

Even later tonight, we had another event. You see I bought James a awesome hair buzzer set at Costco, I mean it rocks. And so tonight we decided to cut Isaiah's hair with it. He would be the first experiment. Well, after trying different sizes, and doing different things, in the end, it turned out really great. I was proud of James. Isaiah did really well too. He always sits still for the ladies I take him too, and he did good here too, especially considering how long it took. Since it was James' first time cutting Isaiah's hair and all.

Tomorrow morning I am driving to Kaiser to do my blood work, and then at 2pm we are taking Isaiah to see the new Star Wars movie. I am excited to see how much he likes it. I know that he will. Hopefully it won't be so crowded that we can't get a decent seat. I suppose that we could get there early though, and just bring Isaiah's Game Boy Advanced with us to keep him occupied until the movie starts.

My dad should be coming over tomorrow to paint the last bits of Evelyn's room. It will be nice to see it finished. Except of course for the fact that my mother in law Patty will be doing a mural on her wall, but that will come later. So anyway, I guess that's it. I think I will go get a snack now, I am hungry for some reason. Bye.

05.19.05
11:58pm

What an emotionally stressful night. The last episode of CSI was just great, and then there was ER which was equally great. I won't get into all the details, since not all of you care, but lets just say that I am almost sure that the nurses son, who ran away at the end and got into a car with a strange guy so he could hitch hike, is probably going to need some serious therapy.

And then, James goes to buy some Star Wars tickets for Saturday right...but when he comes back he says he only bought the one (Isaiah gets in free), and I said what the heck, what about me? He claims that I said I didn't want to go. What an idiot! That isn't even close to what I said. I said that I didn't think that we should go so soon, because they will be sold out. But no, he hears what he wants. So now he has to go get another ticket tomorrow. What a nerd. Why wouldn't I go if he is going? ugh

I had my doctor appt today, I thought that it would just be paper work or something, but it was that plus a full examination. I was there for 2 hours, much longer than I should have been, due to the fact that my doctor was running late. Everything is fine and good to go though. I will be having the c-section Monday @ 11:30am. I have to get there at 9:30am though. I told my mom that since at that time only two people are allowed in the room with me at once, that they might as well wait to get there till 11am...no point in one of them having to be in the waiting room the whole time. So James and I will be there with Isaiah, and hopefully Isaiah will be alright with me being in the hospital. Especially when they start giving me the epidural. I imagine he will think that they are giving me a very big boo-boo. The lady in labor and delivery that I talked to also told me that I will most likely be there two nights. So I guess that means that I will go home Wednesday morning. So hopefully James will be able to feed Isaiah while I am gone. lol Although I told my mom that she might want to think about making dinner for him on the nights that I am gone. Just incase.

Anyway...I also watched this thing on the news tonight, where they were naming off all the streets in sac that are dangerous because of people who drive too fast in 45mph or slower neighborhoods. And then they say, that most of the fatalities that occurred on those streets, when it came to the at fault party, where people age 16-25. Wow, big surprise there. Did we really need them to tell us that? I mean duh. It's us young people who are the most inexperienced. So naturally that would make sense. Is it that hard to figure out, really?

You know what I was thinking about? It is really a hard thing to try to remember to teach Isaiah about praying. We are just so used to praying in our own heads during meals, that we forget that we need to introduce this stuff to Isaiah. And we almost always forget to pray with him at night. I do have a book that is all about explaining God to your kids from an early age, and activities that you can do. I am thinking that Isaiah is at the age now where I can start reading that book and implementing some of their ideas. When you think about it, explaining God and what he is to a child really is one of the more difficult things in the world to do. At least I think so. Anyway, that is all for now I guess. Tomorrow is another day. Bye.

05.18.05
11:31pm

My dog Coco is always in the way when I am in bed. She lays down exactly where my feet need to be, then, when I shove my feet under her and tell her to move, she just looks at me as if to say, "Excuse me, are you talking to me?" She just sits there and stares...then, after like 30 seconds, she finally moves. But you can tell she is disgusted. What a little princess. She is so full of herself. Dusty, our other dog, just doesn't care, you tell her to get down and she will just lay there looking at you, daring you to try to move her. And you eventually have to, but she lets her body just go limp, and so you really do have to put your back into it to get this 50lb dog off your bed. Frustrating is what it is.

But, in other news...I just realized that still I am not done buying baby stuff yet. I need a dang baby monitor! I completely forgot about that item. At least all the big stuff is out of the way though. And I think that everyone should have gotten there thank you cards too. Except one person, whom I will give theirs to at church, since I do not have their address.

Tomorrow is my doctor appt, my last one. The only thing after that is going into the lab for some blood work. My mom is coming with me tomorrow though and so she will watch Isaiah for me while we are there. I think that it is mainly just me signing a bunch of stuff. And I suppose that he will give me a quick check up too. You know what is really cute? Isaiah really likes to show people who come over here the baby's room. He takes them in and shows them all the stuff on the dresser, and then the swing. He is pretty excited about it. Let's hope that is a trend that continues.

Anyway, not much happened today. I have been pretty tired, and so my day doesn't consist of much. I think that even Isaiah is feeling empathy for me, as he was also kind of lazy today. So... that's all. Bye folks.

05.17.05
12:09am

Pain pain go away, come again another day. I love everything about this pregnancy, except all the aches and pains. But, with only 5 days, who am I to complain? The baby room is all done, except for some last minute painting that my dad is going to do. It looks great. The only thing that I can imagine making it look better would be some pictures on the walls. But that is the kind of thing that can wait.

I am feeling good though, excited about seeing the baby. I am nervous for Isaiah though. I know it is going to affect him in a big way, and it makes me worry for him. I wonder if he will be ok having me gone over night, most likely two nights, after such a big event. Then, and from what I understand this is a normal worry that some second time mom's have, I worrying that what if I love Evelyn more than Isaiah, or vice versa. I know that sounds silly, but it is a worry that I have. I think that it cropped up in my head just because I have always wanted a girl so badly, and I also think that that is the exact reason why God gave me a boy first. Because he wanted me to fall in love with my boy, and realize how wonderful and magnificent he is. And he so is, I am utterly in love with him. It just seems ridiculous to have such dumb thoughts. Then, there is the other worry of having post-partum depression. Which from what I understand is more common in second time mom's.

I didn't have it with my first pregnancy, and I doubt I will this time, but still, it is something to think about. I am such a worrier, it is sickening.

Not that I buy into the whole severe post partum depression. You know, the kind where the mom says that is what caused her to kill her children. I think that has got to be the lamest excuse ever. That's just my opinion of course, but I stand by it. I mean, take that one lady who drowned her 3 kids in the bathtub...you don't shove 3 kids in the tub one at a time, hold each one down till they drown, and not know what you are doing. I just find it impossible.

American Idol was on TV tonight. We are down to the final 3 people and it is really good. I personally think that Bo Bice is going to win it all. The girls are good, but I don't think that they stand out as something new and exciting. Although, either way, they are all going to be big stars.

So I guess all 3 are winners. Anyway, I can't think of much else to write about at the moment. And since it is almost 1am now, it's probably a good thing that I stop trying to write. Talk to you all later. Bye.

05.16.05
10:27pm

Today I not only mailed out all the Thank You cards, but I also mailed out some pictures of Isaiah to family members. Honestly, sending out that many letters is really hard on your hands. But it's done, out of the way, and I am so glad.

Isaiah and I went to the park today with a friend, and we were there for an hour and a half. By the time we got home and he sat down to watch a movie, he was very tired, and he fell asleep on me. He was so cute, I couldn't move because he would fall over, so James scooped him up and took him to his bed. He was so out of it that he hardly noticed. He is so cute when he is tired like that.

Anyway, here is something odd, and stupid, all at once. In the city of Bend, in Oregon, a 14 year old girl was given detention for giving her boyfriend a "lingering" hug between classes. What??? Wow...come on people. Evidently the school rules state that you are only allowed to give very quick hello and goodbye hugs, but nothing that is "lingering". Evidently, she had been warned several times, and then this time was given detention. This infuriated the mother of the girl, who upon picking her up in the school office gave her daughter an extra long hug.

Good for her! I mean how stupid is that? I could understand banning teens from long kissing sessions in the halls, and things of that nature, but hugs that last too long. Man, I would hate to be a girl who is crying because of some awful event and my friends could only give her a quick hug for comfort. When I was in high school there was no ban on anything like that, and the world didn't come to an end. James and I quite frequently kissed goodbye before class, lasting much longer than a minute, we held hands, and even hugged, why? We were dating and in love!

It would be one thing if this was happening during class, or if a student was repeatedly late for class because of it. But to but a rule like that down at a school to affect students during free time, is just plain dumb. If I was that mom I would have done the same thing, except I would have yelled at that stupid principal too.

Anyway, so besides that, nothing much happened. So I think that I will leave this for now and join my honey in the baby's room where he is putting together her changing table. Bye.

05.15.05
7:48pm

Well, today was not that good. All last night I was hurting in my my left hip and leg. It was uncomfortable and painful no matter what way I slept. And then, when I tried to get up to get some Tylenol, I couldn't walk on my leg good. So, that was bad. Then it wasn't any better this morning, but I figured that since laying down wasn't helpful, I might as well be in pain at church. So I decided to go, against the advice of my mom. Unfortunately the chairs in Sunday School class were not even remotely comfortable enough for me to sit in. The whole time that I was I kept getting sharp pains all down my leg. Finally, I just had to get up and leave, because walking seemed to be the only thing that didn't hurt. I was however able to sit through church service, since the pews were much better in the area of comfort, and they make you sit up straight, which seemed to help. And, I must say that I really really enjoyed the service today. I thought that Pastor Tim Gentry was excellent! Actually, I thought that it was one of the best sermons we have had since Pastor Rob has been gone. So that was nice.

After church we went to pick up Isaiah at James' mom and dad's house. Isaiah had a great time. He got cool birthday presents too.

Actually, he was having so much fun that he didn't want to leave. There's something new huh? Since lately he can't stand to be away from me. I am glad he a good time though. He likes to be out and about doing different stuff.

Oh my Gosh!!!! I can not believe what I just read. I had no idea that the last episode of Survivor was on tonight and I missed it! I am so upset. What the heck! At least Tom won though, he was a good player. But I am still upset that I didn't get to see how it all came about. Dang it!

I was also reading a story in the news about how in India, although it is outlawed, and not practiced in more modern sophisticated cities, the rural cities are still marrying off their children. (some as young as 10 years old) The laws are not strict enough and not enforced enough. Evidently this week alone hundreds of children were married off for some kind of celebration that was taking place this week. Although the young girls continue to live with their parents until puberty hits (which can be like 12 or 13) she is still basically used as a personal slave to her young grooms family. It is so amazing to me that in this day and age there are still countries out there who do this. These are children! At the age of 11 all a kid she be thinking about is school and friends. Not what meal she is going to cook for her new in-laws. ugh! This is so awful. I just don't get it.

And another new thing has also happened. The new X-Box has been revealed. What does this mean for you? Probably nothing. For me? It means a bunch of money being spent on a new system, and a bunch of new games too. And....it means James spending way to many nights up late playing those games. Luckily for me, it doesn't even come out until the holiday season. So that will be nice. You know, I don't think that people realize what a huge industry gaming is. Do you realize that one game costs $49.99? And if it's a old one, that was popular, they will sale it for $20.00? But to get it at that price you have to wait forever. Because they don't do that until people stop buying it at the regular price. Then of course you have to own the machine. I don't even want to think about what this new one is going to cost. Anyway...I guess that is it...Bye.

P.S. Oh yea, I almost forgot...my feet and legs are swollen now too...will it never end?

05.14.05
10:48pm

Well the baby shower today went really well. I got some wonderful gifts. Two of which we really needed, the stroller, and the swing.

I have to make sure that on Monday I write out some thank you cards and mail them off right away. Otherwise I will forget to do it.

The last time that happened it was for our wedding, and we had a couple people who were upset that they didn't get a card. Personally, as long as the person said thank you to me when I gave them the gift, I don't need a thank you card. But some people really need them, so I have to make sure I remember. All the decorations were great though, and the cake was delicious. My mom won a game, and I think that the other game was won by Cathy.

Since Isaiah is still gone, James and I went shopping today and bought the dresser, the changing table, and the car seat. James didn't want me to buy a expensive dresser. He wanted me to get one that was $60.00 bucks like the cheap one we got Isaiah. Personally, I hate that one, and the cheap fake wood-like paint is already chipping off everywhere. Well, I ended up getting a $300.00 dollar really cute dresser instead. I wanted him to come with me to get it, but he didn't, so he has no one to blame but himself. Although later, when we went to Wal-Mart to get the changing table, we saw that they had a matching dresser for $60.00. He wasn't too happy. But I tried to explain to him that the one I got was part of a whole set, and that later on when she is older we will be able to go back and get the rest of it, including the bed. Plus, this dresser wil last much longer then some cheap thing. He still didn't agree. But I think that all this just comes from the fact that while he was growing up he really didn't have anything nice in regards to furniture in his room. I remember when we were first dating, and I saw his room. It consisted of a bed, on the floor, a tiny side table, a dresser in his closet, and an alarm clock. That's it!

Anyway, so James still has to put the changing table together. It isn't the one I really wanted. I just wanted a small changing table, that's it.

This thing has drawers and stuff attached. And it is a different color then the rest of her furniture. But I figure that the rest of the stuff she will have for a long time, and this thing I will eventually get rid of. Once she is done with diapers that is. Although if she is anything like her brother, that could take awhile.

But, other than that I am feeling pretty tired. I mean like I could close my eyes right now and fall asleep. Assuming that I can get comfortable.

All the walking around in stores, and going to different places, has really wore me out. I need some sleep badly. So..I think that is what I will do. Talk to you all again later. Bye.

05.13.05
10:22pm

Friday the 13th and nothing strange to report. But that's a good thing.

James has been incredibly tired all day though...which would be strange had it not been for the fact that he never came to bed last night because he was playing a video game the whole time. I remember waking up around 4:30am and noticing that he was not in bed yet, when I went out to look for him, sure enough, there he was playing a game. I think that he finally came in around 6am to take a shower. His eyes have been bloodshot all day from it.

It was pointless talking to him too, he was useless. He didn't know what I was saying most of the time, and when he was talking it came out kind of like nonsense anyway. So Isaiah and I left early to go take those proofs back to my friend, and then we hung out at my friend Lorenda's place for awhile. Isaiah had fun with the kids at her house. Then, tonight after James got done with work, we headed out to his mom and dad's house because Isaiah is staying the night there. We will not have him back until after church on Sunday. Usually I would sleep in tomorrow, really late, but I won't be able to because the baby shower at church starts at 10am. My mom is coming over here to get me because we will be using their truck, just incase we need the room. I am hoping that James does something productive while I am gone. Like mow the lawn and try to sell the computer desk and chair. I won't nag him about it though, I have brought it up enough, so we will just see what he does.

I have about 60 episodes of Justice League downloaded. I am having James burn them on to a DVD right now. Evidently, using the lowest quality, it is going to take 5 dvd cds. Wow. But it will be worth it, after all, I can't just count on my computer all the time, it would be easy enough to lose all those episodes if my computer crashed. So I think that this is an important thing to do. I also want to have him put all the short movies of Isaiah that I have on the computer on a cd too. Those are things that you should just make sure to have a back up for.

ugh I am really really tired. I need to clean up some stuff still too. I don't know how I am going to manage it. So even though I feel bad for it, I am going to cut this short. Sorry, but I will at least have a lot to tell you tomorrow. Bye.

05.12.05
9:40pm

Ok, so I was really tired today, and luckily my mom found some time to come hang out and I laid down for a bit. Well, during that time I had such an odd dream. I was home, and found a stray dog in my yard. It was obvious that it could be a cute dog, but it had lost almost all his hair.

I mean like it was just about all skin except for the head area. So, next I tell my dad, who happens to be here, that I was going to keep him. Well, I am sitting there petting the dog and he is licking my hand, and all of the sudden it is like his tongue gets stuck to my hand, and it comes off in my hand!!!! Yuck!! So next I am staring at my hand and I start freaking out yelling at my dad to get it off me. And then, thankfully, I wake up. What a strange, strange dream.

Second, I am such a nerd. Not only have I cried over my soap opera now, but before I started writing this a commercial came on about a woman getting married and her dad kept looking at her doing one thing or another, and then remembering her as a little girl. I am such a sucker for these kinds of things. It makes me think of my wedding, and walking down the aisle with my dad. I couldn't help it, I started crying!

James looked at me like I was a freak. But I can't help it, I always cry at those kinds of father/daughter moments. One movie that always makes me cry, is The Father of the Bride starring Steve Martin. I love that one. It just touches my heart. Then I start thinking about how wonderful it will be when someday James gets to walk with is daughter down the aisle. I know that I am going to cry like a baby. I am such a sucker for this stuff! The way that I act over these things, and how mushy I can get, you really wouldn't think that I am such a detached person when it comes to other events. But I am. I usually only care about events that affect me personally.

Why oh why do they always have to have babies in distress? Why? This is why I can't stand ER sometimes. Now I am going to have nightmares tonight about my baby. I hate seeing little babies, even possible fake babies on TV, hooked up to all kinds of wires and looking like they are going to die. UGH. This show...

Anyway, today was a good day. I baby sat, and Isaiah had a great time getting to play. I was surprised that he didn't want to take a nap. Tonight though he did go to bed easy. Unlike the last two or three nights where he decided to scream and cry himself to sleep. Honestly, it really is funny. One of those nights James had to stand at the door and hold it closed so he wouldn't come out. It took about 10 minutes. I wish that I could have it recorded someday. I would love to let him listen to himself scream like that and see what he says. Anyway. That's all for now. Bye-Bye.

05.11.05
11:45pm

Well, Isaiah's portraits that I had taken turned out great! I went and picked up the proofs today. There are so many great ones that it is really hard to choose which 3 we would like to have. I am only choosing 3, because I am only buying for us. If anyone else wants one then I will just print it up myself, we scanned them all in today. I love scanners.

I took Isaiah to the park today and I made a new friend. A lady and her 2 year old boy were there, we got to talking and ended up exchanging numbers. Turns out she lives very close to me. So I think that maybe I will give her a call next week. See if she wants to come by or something. I would do it tomorrow, but I am babysitting my friends kids in the morning, and I know that I will be tired later on. Hopefully Isaiah will be too, and then I can get him to take a nap. My mom is going to be busy so she will not be taking him that afternoon.

This Saturday is my second baby shower which is being thrown by Terry Shepherd at church. I am excited to see all the cute clothes that I am sure I will be getting. People can't help themselves when it comes to buying little girl stuff. My mom is going to come with me too, I thought that she might have fun.

Well, trying to put the border up in Evelyn's room turned out badly again. I will not say how many times James messed things up, but in the end he ended up throwing away 3 rolls. Basically, he has decided that he now wants to buy the kind of border that is already sticky on the back. Personally, I don't see this happening, so I am pretty sure that my dad will just end up painting on a border for us. Poor James, he really just isn't a handy kind of guy.

I was watching my soap opera today, you know the one I mentioned where a character has just returned from supposedly being dead, and today she was reunited with her kids who are now teenagers. I know this sounds dumb, and you will most likely laugh, but I was crying like a baby. It was so touching, and made me so happy. The girls they have playing her twins aren't even good actresses, but I couldn't help it. Isaiah heard me crying and came out from playing in his room and gave me a hug. He thought that I had a "boo boo". Sweet little guy.

When I told James about the fact that I was crying, he pretty much laughed at me and told me that me crying over that was so dumb, that he can't even think of anything to say. lol Oh well, so I am a sucker for happy endings. But can you blame me, really? I mean she was a beloved character...and they (TV people) make us the viewing audience fall in love with these people.

Anyway, that is all, my day was boring besides that. lol Bye

05.10.05
10:35pm

Ok, you might be wondering why is there a picture of the The Emperor from Star Wars, and the new Pope, on this webpage. Well, James saw it and thought that their resemblance was uncanny. (And it really made him laugh.) So I told him that he could put it on here so everyone else could have a good laugh too. Everyone needs that at one point or another right?

I was so busy today that I am very sore and tired now. I was out and about a lot with my friend Lorenda and her two kids. Lots of walking...and now my hip area is paying for it. (Speaking of hips, my mom had an MRI today for hers, please say a prayer for her that everything is ok) Isaiah did let me rest though after we got back. He is so sweet. I was laying on the bed and he would come in and ask if I was ok, and then I would say yes, mama's ok, and he would give me a kiss and go back to playing. What a wonderful little guy I have. I mean really it just doesn't seem possible to have it any better. He is so dang sweet.

You know what song I really like? It's that one song from the band Hoobastank, and I think that it is called The Reason. I love the lyrics. And honestly, it is pretty much the only good song on that entire album. But nonetheless, it is a great song, and I thought that I would share some of the words with you.

I love those kinds of songs, songs of regret, of wanting to take away all the pain that you have caused someone. There is another line from a Madonna song that I also love, and that is "Only the one that inflicts the pain, can take it away." I think that is so true. I have been hurt many times by friends and such in the past, and although you can forgive that person, and try to put it behind you, to hear that person say that they are sorry is something that really helps to unburden you. It makes you feel like all is well. There was once a person who I had a falling out with, well, to be honest she did something horrendous, I mean horribly bad, and I didn't talk to her for years and years...until finally, when I saw her, and took it as a sign from God, I walked up to her, said some nice hello's, and finally, told her I forgave her. That made her cry, and she then apologized too, a heart felt one, that released all the anger I had inside. It felt so good. Don't get me wrong, it's all fine and good to forgive that person, whether they know it or not, but really, to get that meaningful apology, that is something that can help a person heal. Anyway, I'm done for now. Gotta go do dishes. Yippee!! lol..bye.

05.09.05
8:42pm

I had my doctor appointment today. Everything is fine, as I thought. My tummy is continuing to grow, I got the impression that he thought it was bigger then normal, yet it isn't due to my weight, as I have barely gained 20lbs. I went down to admitting afterward though and paid the $250.00 co pay for the surgery. So now that the payment is out of the way all I have to do on the day of delivery is go straight to the 2nd floor and have them get me a room. So that will be exciting. My doctor also told me that they try to get c-section mom's private rooms if they are available. That would be even better. Last night we posted some new pictures on this page from Isaiah's party. I wish that I would have taken a picture of the kids and adults who were all in the jumper, that would have been funny. But as it was I only happened to be there when Andrew and Isaiah were in there together. I also added a quote of the day. I thought that might be something fun. But if you hate it, let me know....or, if you know of a particularly good quote that you would like to see on there, email me and if I like it, I will use it.

Tonight, since it never got done on the other nights we intended, James and I will be doing the border around the nursery. I think that it will really help the nursery look complete.

LOL, right now Isaiah is having a rare moment. Every once in a while, he really doesn't want to go to bed....like maybe once a month, or twice.

And boy is he mad. I mean this kid is beating the heck out of his door. Fighting and fighting so hard. James has been holding the door closed this whole time. Man he pounds hard too. It's like an adult. LOL...honestly it is just really hilarious. I can't help but sit here and laugh. I mean this kid is determined. Too bad for him that we aren't suckers who give in. I know some parents who just can't handle letting their kids cry. Boy, is that where they make a big mistake. At least I think so. But, lucky for us this only happens once and a while, and this is actually the worst thing that he does. So....I still feel very blessed.

Oh, and I wanted to mention something else. You know how James had that problem that I wrote about where he couldn't seem to remember to close the cupboard doors? Well, now he also can't seem to remember to turn off the dang bathroom light. Our master bathroom is the one he is having the issue with. So far, without fail, he has left it on every time. As I am typing this actually, it is on, and I am not going to turn it off. Nope. I am just going to see how long it takes him before he realizes it. I think that I will even use the other bathroom, just so he can't try to pin it on me. Like I know he will. Anyway, that's all for now...nothing to exciting happened today...unless you count the mass amount of thunder around my house that terrified my dogs. Bye.

05.08.05
9:29pm

What a day! I'm not talking about Mother's Day either. Just that the day was full, and it wore me out. First of all, I don't really care about Mother's Day that much for myself. I feel like James always appreciates me, and I don't need a specific day for him to show me. But I do think that it is important to show other mom's, like my own, that I love them...and so I gave her a small gift and a card. James stayed up so late last night playing video games (3:30am to be exact) that he didn't make it in to the church service today. He knew he would have a hard time staying awake, so he stayed in the nursery with the kids. It was his own fault. I don't know why he does that...he knew we had church the next day. So anyway...after that we went to my Grandma's house, stayed there for a short time, then went to this guy's house that James had some computer stuff to do as side work. That didn't take too long. Then we finally went home, but I only stayed for a short time, cause I went to see my mom. Finally, I came back, and we left again in like 10 minutes to go see a movie and then have dinner. But the thing was, I really didn't want to. I know that sounds horrible, but really I wanted to just stay home, take my shows off, and hang out. But I knew that James wanted to be nice, and take me out, so I did. Well, we went to see The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. And even though it was good, I felt so tired, that I kept closing my eyes. And although Isaiah liked it well enough, it didn't seem to have enough action fight scenes for him. I think at some points he was bored. He really likes lots of fighting in his movies. So.....then we went to go have dinner, and to be honest, I really didn't want to do that. I didn't feel hungry, and I was tired. But once again I knew that James was trying to be nice, and I didn't want to spoil it for him. So I didn't mention it, and we went in. Well, Isaiah wasn't too happy being there. He wasn't having a fit (we took care of that kind of attitude a long time ago) but he didn't want to be there. And I was extremely hot in there. No one else was, so I know it was just me, but I swear that it felt like it was 90 degrees in there. Then, I couldn't decide what I wanted to eat, mostly cause I wasn't hungry, so when I got my food, I really wasn't interested. Finally I got the guts to tell James that I wanted to go home. He gave me that, "Are you serious?" look. I felt so bad, here we were, already had our food, and now I get the guts to say that. I felt really bad, I hate wasting our money like that. But I just wasn't in the mood. I was so tired and icky feeling. So after he reassures me like 5 times that he wasn't upset about it, we went home, and I finally got to take my shoes off. lol. Ugh, I was so tired too. And I had Isaiah go to sleep early again, he was kind of whiny, and I think he needed it. No video games for him tomorrow either, he needs some time off.

In other news, unrelated to my day completely, there is some Baptist Church in North Carolina that is facing some problems of sorts right now.

Evidently, their pastor tried to kick out nine of it's members out of the church for not being supporters of President Bush. Wow, I hardly know what to say about that. Evidently he saw the error of his ways, because today he tried to welcome them back to church, even though they all came to service with their lawyers, and even the pastor had his there. If you want to read the full story, here is the address. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/05/08/national/main693755.shtml

Personally, I think that even if he did change his mind later, that has to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. Who does something like that? You might as well say that someone isn't allowed to be there because they can't afford a nice shirt to wear. God doesn't care who they support in politics, and the church shouldn't either. It's called freedom of choice people. Ever hear of it?

Oh, and another thing that bugged me to the point of yelling today was this....I am driving to my mom and dad's house, and up ahead of me I see two kids on one bike, riding in the very middle of the street. They think it is funny by the looks on their faces, and when there are two cars coming at once, they wait for the people to slow down for them so they can swerve around them both, and they get back in the middle. As I passed them by they smiled at me, and I gave those two little idiots a dirty look. Now, I will be honest here, I had the urge to stop the car, and scare the heck out of them with graphic details of what could happen to their bodies if I had hit them. I didn't, but I should have. If I ever found out one of my kids was doing that, ugh, God help them...seriously. This is why I am so pro scaring your child about these things.

Kids don't take adult warnings seriously, they just don't, they don't think anything can hurt them. When I was little and my mom was teaching me about strangers, she didn't just tell me, she scared me to death. Telling me about how I would never see her again, ever, and that I would be alone, and scared, and a bunch of other stuff. Let me tell you, I didn't talk to strangers, I didn't want to lose my mom. I plan on doing the same thing to Isaiah. When that kid is old enough, and allowed to ride his stupid bike around town, you better believe that I will be telling him in detail what a car can do to his body. I am not going to hold back. Maybe I will even show him a couple graphic photos of kids who have been injured. I know that sounds terrible, but I would rather have a kid that understands what being careless can do, then a kid who thinks he is invincible, and gets himself killed. "I think" that is something that more parents should do. Anyway, enough of that.

Tomorrow I have another check up with the doctor. I feel like this kid is ready to come out right now though. Sometimes I feel like that scene in the movie Alien, where it comes out of her stomach. It's like Evelyn is trying to shove her way right out of me. Actually, she has been making me feel like that the whole time I have been typing, and it's pretty uncomfortable. So...I will end this now, so I can lay flat and feel better. Bye for now.

05.07.05
10:20pm

Happy Birthday Isaiah!!! And boy did he know it. I think this was the first time that he understood that this was his day. He woke up this morning all ready to open his gifts, and he loved them all. We had so much fun and got some cute pictures which I hope to be adding to this web page very soon. The party was also good. The jumper thing was huge!! And praise the Lord that it was indeed a good weather day. Even the adults got to play in it. Isaiah even got a basketball hoop from my aunt and cousin, and a soccer net with ball from another cousin. Lots of great outdoor activities. We put him to bed early tonight because I had a feeling that he could use the extra hour, and I was right, as he fell right to sleep. I think that after I write this up, I too will be going to bed early, having that party wore me out really bad. My back is killing me. James is even hurting. He somehow hurt his knee, which is causing him pain when he gets up, and then, while jumping out of the jumper today he banged his little toe on Isaiah's wooden playground, and made his nail all funky and bloody. So that was exciting. But luckily it was the only injury.

I can't believe that now there are just two weeks until Evelyn comes to be with us in person. I am so excited to be able to see her soon.

Her room looks great, except the window sill which was not taking the paint very well, and so we will have to sand it down and then paint it.

But other than that everything looks awesome. I think that we just need to buy a changing table and a dresser. Which kind of stinks, since they are expensive.

And then, tomorrow is Mother's Day. Now, I really don't think that we will be doing much for that. I mean there is church, and then James has to help a guy out with his computer stuff. But after that probably not much. We were thinking about going out to dinner, but we were so hungry today and didn't want to wait 3 hours for the ham I had to cook, that we went to Applebee's and got take out. So I think that there is really no need to go out again. Plus, it's not like I don't know I am appreciated. I know I am. James shows me that everyday. So I really don't need the world to make a specific day just so my husband can show me some love. After all, he should be doing that all the time.

I did have one other thing to talk about though today. I don't know why, but earlier today I was thinking about the fact that it really just doesn't make sense that we the customer are required to give certain people "tips" for doing their job. I mean, if you go into a restaurant, and you have a waiter, and they do there thing....isn't that there "job", and aren't they getting paid by the company the work for to do that job?

So why then am I paying extra to them, for doing what they already get paid to do? Another example is when you get your hair cut, why am I giving them a tip? It is there job to give hair cuts, and they get paid for it too. Now I can understand a taxi driver getting a tip, if say they tried there best to get you somewhere in a hurry, and were speeding and all that, or maybe a doorman, who went out of his way to help you get a cab, or got you directions to a place, that isn't really there job, they went beyond the call of duty...so give them something extra. But the other one, no, they are just doing there job. I really think that it is ridiculous. In my opinion at least.

05.06.05
9:18pm

As of now, Isaiah is in bed, hopefully falling asleep. James is in the babies room painting the last bits, and although I still have to clean up tonight's dinner, I thought I would write this now. After all, if I can, I should get to bed at a descent hour, like earlier then 1 am.

Everything is going great though. God is providing good weather for us tomorrow, and all I have to pick up is the cake, ice cream, ice, and plastic forks and spoons. The house is all clean, except my room, which has computer junk all over the place. I might just make my room off limits tomorrow. I am so excited about this birthday. It is sad, because Isaiah will not be a baby at all anymore (unless you count the diapers he refuses to get rid of) but then again I am happy, because he isn't a baby anymore, he is a little boy. And a good one too. Today before dinner I was sitting on the floor and he came up to sit in my lap and was holding me, and I was holding him. It was so perfect, and we just sat like that for 5 minutes or more. I didn't even care that my hips were hurting. I started thinking about how much I love him, and how badly I want him to stay small forever, and I couldn't help but start crying. It is just so overwhelming the love that I have for him. If I love Isaiah more than words can express, imagine how much God loved us, to give up his son for us. WOW. I can not even begin to understand that kind of love. Giving up your child, so the rest of the world can be saved. Especially when the natural instinct for us, is to protect our children no matter what the cost.

Sitting here is making me really tired. Especially since I was up late last night. I am surprised that James isn't asleep on his feet. He was up till 4am. Working mostly, but then he decided to read the rest of his book. So it is really his own fault.

You know, in my bible, which was previously my Great Grandfather Harold Wright's bible, there are lots of things in it that he wrote. I love that he wrote so much in it, because it makes me feel like he is right here with me. I was glancing at the pages in the front where he wrote some notes....and there is one spot where he wrote about being New Creatures In Christ, and the changes that occur in us . I wanted to share "his thoughts" on what those changes were.

1.) Justification- A change of standing before God.

2.) Regeneration- A change of of nature from God.

3.) Repentance- A change of mind about God.

4.) Conversion- A change of life for God.

5.) Adoption- A change of family in God.

6.) Sanctification- A change of service to God.

7.) Glorification- A change of place with God.

Now, I think I understand most of that. And I think that it is pretty accurate too. But like I said, these are only his thoughts, so don't just take it as truth. Look stuff up. Anyway, I have a lot to do still. Bye for now.

05.05.05
1:28am

Wow it is late. I have been being lazy tonight watching my TV shows and doing nothing else. Then, after they were all over, at 11pm, I decided that I should get some cleaning done, as tomorrow is the day before the party. So far so good weather wise. They are still saying that it will be partly cloudy and that suits me just fine. Praise God!! The people that I am renting the jumper from (The Family Jump Co.) called today and said that they will be bringing the jumper by at 1pm Saturday. So that should give us plenty of time to get stuff ready  after it is set up. I think that I am going to enlist James to be the official photographer. Or maybe my dad. One of em. The gift bags are all ready though and all I have to do tomorrow is do a quick clean up in the bathrooms, and then try to keep the rest of the house nice till the party. Isaiah's room I am not even going to try to clean until the day of the party, maybe not even until an hour before it. lol

I also read Pastor Rob's blog today and noticed that he watched part of American Idol but couldn't understand why I dislike Scott Savol so much. Honestly, I suppose that if you just now watched the show, and saw him, you might like him some, but, if you have been watching it since the beginning, then no, you wouldn't. Besides the fact that the guy just looks sneaky and underhanded...he is awful in groups, the guy just doesn't work well with others at all. That is obvious just from when they were still trying to find the top finalists and they were performing in groups, he was completely unwilling to cooperate with his partners. I think that he is just a bitter young man.

My mom told me today that I will no longer be driving to my doctor appts alone. Evidently, my mom and dad are worried that I might go into labor while driving there, so one of them will be coming with me now. They crack me up. But I love how concerned they are. Luckily I only have two appts left until the big day comes so that will be good, that way they don't have to take a lot of time off from work.  I keep looking at the calendar thinking that the 23rd is practically right around the corner.

And the room seems to be coming along good too. The wall painting is done as of tonight, now we just have to do the trim, and put the border up along the top of the wall. It looks really cute.

I was just looking at this list of Top 10 worst songs ever as decided by some magazine, and I am going to be honest, they are so wrong. I mean I can think if a bunch of songs that are way worse than the ones they mentioned. For instance, the listed "Don't Worry, Be Happy", as number 7!! That is a good song that everyone loves. Then, number six they put "The Heart of Rock and Roll" by Hewey Lewis and the News. That is a great song. I know that one, and I have their greatest hits cd. Now, can I blame them for putting Vanilla Ice on there? No, that one is right. But there number one worst song choice is "We Built This City". Another good song! I don't know where these people got there info, but they need to check again.

Anyway, it is almost 2am now, so I am going to sleep. Nite all.

05.04.05
10:16pm

So much to say today that I hardly know where to begin. First of all, I am continually amazed at the power Oprah Winfrey has over this nation. The new Harry Potter book isn't even out yet, and it has been a best seller just in pre-orders for a very long time, and all the newest books that have come out have not been able to take it down. But then, Oprah has a guy on her show that has a book out which is all about your health, and what happens? It knocked Harry Potter to second place and is now #1!! How is that possible? What is it about Oprah that has so many people fascinated? If she thinks something is great, it's like that is the end of the story. Her word is as good as gold. I am telling you right now that someday that woman is going to be in the political world and there will be no stopping her at all. She will just dominate in all areas.

Then, I was watching the news today at noon and they were talking about how a lot of doctors are starting to refuse to allow parents to video tape the birth of their babies because if something was to go wrong then that tape could be used as evidence against the doctor. I guess there is some case going on right now where what the tape shows happening, is not what was told to paramedics, and the parents believe that if the midwife had told the paramedics the truth, their son would have gotten better care, and not died at 4 years old. That is the quick version of the story, so if you wanna read the rest go look it up at www.cbsnews.com I guess I can understand a doctor feeling nervous about that, after all, any mistake you make would be on tape, and the parents could sue you for whatever they felt like. But then again, as long as you follow procedure, and do your job right, there should be no need to worry. Not to mention, you would think that if something serious was happening, like the baby stopped breathing, that the doctor would ask for the taping to stop, after all, it would make it harder to concentrate on your job in that kind of environment, and what parent wants to see that again anyway. I wouldn't want to have my child dying on tape for me to watch over and over again. That would just be torture.

Also, I almost had a heart attack tonight watching American Idol. I thought for sure that they were going to let Scott Savol continue on and kick someone good off, but that wasn't the case, and I am so happy to report that he is finally gone. I felt like singing that song from The Wizard of Oz, you know, "Ding dong the witch is dead, the wicked witch, the wicked witch, ding dong the wicked witch is dead!"

It felt so good to finally see him say goodbye. Let's just hope now that next week they kick Anthony off, because he is the last of the bad ones. Then they will be stuck with the best 3.

And on to the daily weather. lol So far so good folks. Everyday this week "except" Saturday is raining. Praise God. Keep praying though, seriously, please do. I don't even care if it is all clouds, as long as their is no rain.

I am getting excited about watching the new Star Wars movie soon. I know that George Lucas said that it isn't for kids, but we are definitely taking Isaiah to watch it. I don't think that when he said kids, he meant mine in particular. After all, Isaiah's favorite movie is Resident Evil Apocalypse. And he loves that movie. I mean loves it. So I doubt that good ole George could throw out anything to scare my kid. If anything, Isaiah is going to be in there clapping his little heart out like he did tonight when he finished watching Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. I have such a cute kid. I mean really he is so much fun to watch and play with. He gets so excited over the coolest stuff.

Anyway, so that is all. I actually am proud because I knew what I was going to write about and got this entry done in record time. That's something new. Bye.

05.03.05
12:01am

I find it amazing that things that should be so obvious, are not. The top story on www.cbsnews.com right now is that file sharing over the internet can leave your computer open for people to snoop on you. Wow! I had no idea! Are these people dumb? I mean come on, of course it does, your "sharing" files with perfect strangers. How hard of a concept can that be to grasp? Seriously, what has happened to common sense in this world? It is gone, all gone. And what's worse is that some people think that it is cool to be dumb. They think that it is funny to act like they don't have a clue about simple things. It just makes me feel pity for them. I feel embarrassed to be around them. I highly doubt that those people who think it is cool to be dumb, realize how much that will affect them later.

Then, if you want to hear something else dumb, I will tell you a story about James. Remember a long time ago I told you about how James likes to read the instructions on the macaroni and cheese box and use the exact amount of water they recommend? Well, here is something else silly he did. He was making Jell-O a few days ago, and he poured the hot water in to mix the Jell-O stuff with, and he is sitting there stirring it, while talking to me, and then all of a sudden he asks, "Do you think it has been two minutes yet?" And I look at him funny, and say,"Why?" And he responds with, "The box says to stir for 2 minutes." LOL What a dork!!! Just stir it till it's dissolved! LOL I'm telling you I am sometimes scared to think of what my child would eat if I was to die. I don't know how James would manage. I am almost certain that my mom would have to cook for him all the time.

Then, tonight, I was wrapping Isaiah's birthday presents that I bought today, and at one point I asked James to please come and help me because I was getting sore being on the floor wrapping the whole time. So he comes in, and starts on a pretty much squared box. No funky angles to work with, or anything like that. It took the man over ten minutes to wrap the one gift. And as I was watching him I could see the wheels in his brain turning as he tried to figure out which way to the fold the paper. It's like the simple things in life are to difficult for him, but ask him to design and build a webpage for you and he is all good.

So, I was reading through the bible, just skipping around different sections, and I came upon Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

I noticed that not only have I read this particular passage before, but, I also had it underlined. So, I have decided to share it with you, after all, it is a good one.

Ecclesiastes 12

13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments; for this is the whole duty of man.
14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

I like that a lot. I think that those two sentences say so much. I have already read them 5 times since typing them out. You can't get too much of a good thing. Anyway, I think that is all. Remember, keep praying for good weather Saturday. I think it's working.

05.02.05
11:16pm

Well I went to the doctor this morning and everything is fine. The only bad thing is that having Kaiser as my insurance stinks. I didn't realize that I have to still pay for part of that surgery. Granted, $250.00 is not that much, but still, they don't tell you that while you are there, I just found out today when I got a package in the mail from them with all kinds of stuff I had to sign and fill out. That package also said that I will be receiving a call from them a couple days before the scheduled c-section to inform me of what time to arrive and all that. Before that, on the 20th, I have to go in to have some blood taken, but I really don't know why. Maybe it's just incase I end up needing blood, they can just use my own. Which would be good, since my blood type is O+ and I can only get blood from that specific type.

I had to take all my rings off today and leave them off. I was playing with Isaiah today with some Play-Doh, and as I was trying to take them off so they wouldn't get all gross, I discovered that they wouldn't come off. I guess the pregnancy is finally effecting my fingers and swelling them up. So I used some lotion and yanked them off. (it hurt) I will just have to leave them for now. But at least I still have a tan line where they were, so that is something.

The decorations for Isaiah's birthday party came today in the mail. Now all we have to get is some streamers, his present, and some little gifts for the gift bags. I still have no idea what to get him as a gift. I think that I will take him to Toys-R-Us tomorrow and let him pick some stuff out. Of course he will be made that he can't play with any of it, but that's not my problem. I think that he will have fun though anyway, picking stuff out.

So today, while I am watching my soap opera, (yes I am watching it again, important stuff is happening) this one moment happens where someone who is supposed to be dead is basically alive again and as she reveals herself, the camera pans over to her, and there is like this bright light (supposed to resemble a heavenly light) and it blocks her from view until she steps forward. Well, James had just taken a bite of his sandwich when that happened, and as soon as he saw it he just started busting up laughing, and nearly brought back up his food. He couldn't stop laughing though, he was hysterical about it. He said that what little respect he had for that show is now completely gone. lol.

Now, I am not saying that it isn't ridiculous, after all, this particular character was not only shot a couple years ago, but we also say her die in her husbands arms later. So, yes, it is kind of stupid that now they are bringing her back. But hey, I suppose that it is "possible", right? lol

Well, on the weather front everything is still ok for Isaiah's party, it is raining all the days before it, and after it, but just not on the day of it.

Praise God! Now I just have to pray that it stays that way.

Ok, that's all I think. After all, tomorrow I get to write about American Idol, and complain yet again about how horrible Scott Savol is. I am telling you, that man needs to go! Anyway, bye.

05.01.05
10:49pm

James started painting Evelyn's room today. My dad helped out earlier by doing the ceiling. So far I think that the colors look great. It is so nice to see things coming together like this. The room is empty of all computer products. YEA!! Of course now they are all in our room. But still it is great and I know that it won't take long before this is all done. Hopefully it will even be done by time Isaiah's birthday comes. Then everyone who is here for that, can also see her room. Speaking of Isaiah, he was especially cute today. I let him run around outside naked with the hose and he had so much fun. I took some cute pictures of him too. Those will of course be great for when he is 15 and has a girlfriend.

Anyway, there was some other exciting stuff that happened tonight. I started having a lot of what I thought where braxton hicks contractions, but they were happening kind of frequently and hurting some. So I called my friend and she said to call Kaiser. I did, and they told me a bunch of stuff. Mainly that although it is possible that this is early labor, it probably isn't. It could be that since I haven't drank any water for a long, long time, that my braxton hicks contractions are just worse than they should be. So, I have to drink water tonight, a lot. Which means going to the bathroom, a lot. Luckily though I have a doctor's appt tomorrow morning and so I can also tell him about this, and maybe they will do an exam just to be sure. I remember when I was pregnant with Isaiah that I ended up being 3 centimeters dilated like 4 weeks before I was due. So you never know I guess. I think that it would be great to go into labor early too, because then she might be small enough for me to give birth naturally. That would make me very happy. No epidural! I am still scared of that thing.

Well, I checked the weather report again, and so far God is not helping me out. Starting on Wednesday, it is going to rain for 7 days at least. Or that is what they say. I so very much hope that this is not the case, and that somehow the forecast will change. I simply can not have that many people in my house. Not that they wouldn't fit, but it would be chaotic. Especially with all the kids. I need it to not rain!!! I can not stress to you enough how upsetting this is to me. Seriously, this is not supposed to be happening. It is May!! It should only rain sometimes. I really really am upset by this. Really. For what ever reason though, James doesn't seem to think this is a big deal. Figures.

We don't even know what we are getting Isaiah for his birthday yet. And it is coming up so fast. Bad parents, that's what we are.

lol