02

I went to Costco today and while shopping had two rolls of film developed. They turned out so cute. A few of the best ones are of Isaiah in his diaper with two big swords swinging them around while wearing a ninja mask around his eyes. Wow this kid is cute. Don't get me wrong, not the cutest kid in the world. But very very cute. Yep, that's right, I can admit it. Unlike some mom's who proclaim that they do indeed have the cutest kid in the world, I can admit that I have seen cuter. But, Isaiah is very cute. Imagine how hard it must be to actually have a ugly kid though and to be that kids parent. I mean really. Don't try telling me that all kids are cute in there own way. We all know that there are some really ugly looking people out there, and they have to have parents somewhere. So what do you do? Are you blind to it, because they are yours? Or do you secretly admit it to yourself, but no one else? I think that would be tough.

I remember a few kids from Fairsite Elementary too who I can honestly say were just not pleasant to look at in the least. And it's not being mean, it's just being honest. That's one thing I am very good at. Telling the truth when it hurts.

I love the band called Brand New, and in one of their songs there is a line that says, "It hurts to be honest with the one's that you love." How very true that is huh? Because if I am not fond of someone, I have no problem, but when you love that person, you don't want to hurt them, you don't want to see that look of pain in their eyes and then have to know that you put it there. And since you usually know that is what will happen, you then have to decide, is it worth it?

Is what I want to say really worth it? So then you try to talk yourself out of it. There was a couple times in my high school days when I was brutally honest with this one incredibly annoying guy who would not leave me alone at all during art class. He thought that everything bad I said to him was really me being funny. Finally, I said, "Hey, I don't like you, go away." Well, he laughed, said I was funny, and walked across the room to grab something. Some people you just can't reach. Which reminds me of another great song line.

"What we've got here is failure to
communicate.
Some men you just can't reach...
So, you get what we had here last week,
which is the way he wants it!
Well, he gets it!
N' I don't like it any more than you men."

I love that. It is the opening line from the Guns n Roses song Civil War. And you know what, it's true. Some people, and I know a few myself, are too set in their ways to listen, really listen, to what you are trying to say. Some people don't want to believe you. So you end up with what they started with, which is in fact, the way they want it. Now I am not saying that you should not try to enlighten people on certain topics, especially the scripture and what not, but I think it is good to recognize when you are dealing with that kind of person. And you know what, the song is right, I don't like it any more than you.

Wow, I have written a lot already, I just noticed that. See what happens when you just let your brain go all crazy.

Today I bought the complete set of Back to the Future movies. For only $18.99. Now that's a deal. All three of them. I love those movies. I think they can be enjoyed by any generation. But you know what is sad about the current teen generation, they have most likely never heard of Ferris Buelllers Day Off. Is that a crime? It should be? I mean what better ditching school movie is there? Now, James doesn't agree with me, he thinks that it was ok for it's time, but that there are better ones now. I say prove it. That movie has great humor, and great songs, and you can't beat the annoyed sister who in the end helps save the day. Awesome. Now there is a movie the Youth Group should watch for a movie night. Although I think that there is some mild cussing. But I mean really, kids hear way way worse than that during one hour of school. Trust me, I remember. If you simply walked around a high school campus with a tape recorder going all day, and then played it back, you might quite possibly be in shock. I think that I have one friend who doesn't cuss at all. I remember in school she would always say, "Oh Poop!" lol. That always cracked me up. Because we all knew what she was really thinking, she just didn't say it. Isn't that just as bad? Replacing one word for another like that? Technically, you are still meaning the same thing. Just like when a person says, "Ah fudge." You know what they are implying. They just didn't want to say that word, they don't like it. So they use something else that sounds "sweeter". Ok, well now I am rambling and this really is getting too long. And my back hurts. Bye folks.

Even though February is only short by like 2-3 days, I still think that it goes by really fast. March is right around the corner. In a way I wish that it would all speed up even more, so I could see my new daughter. But then I would be mad that Isaiah turned 3 so soon. Speaking of Isaiah, he had a blast with his friend staying the night. They played really well together and she seemed to really like church a lot too. After all that though we went to James' brothers house to hang out and watch a movie. We had a good time and just got home a short while ago, and boy is it raining out there. Honestly, I had a bad feeling the whole time I was driving too, kept thinking, "Something bad is going to happen." But then again it could have just been the movie in my head. Either way, it was bad driving weather, and I am sure that the news will say there was some sort of accident tonight.

Do you ever feel like you were supposed to say something important? But you can't remember what it was and then it just starts bugging you like mad that you just forgot this big thing that you wanted to tell someone. I feel like that right now, I feel like I was going to tell James something, but now, I can't think of what it is. That's gonna drive me nuts.

I think that I am gonna call and make another dentist appt for Isaiah. Remember his accident? Well I think that his teeth are turning grey like the doctor said they might, so I am gonna take him in just to be sure that everything is as ok as it can be.

James is working again. We got home, put Isaiah to bed, and he started right after that. Ugh.. I mean don't get me wrong, it's good that he has all this side work, especially since it is going towards his new laptop...but it really would be nice if he had like a 2 week vacation or something. With no one calling him for help either. Just nothing for him to do but the stuff that I ask. lol

You know what I love? I love when we are driving in the car and the stereo or a cd is playing and it's a song that James really loves and he is singing along with it and then, he gets the words wrong. I love that, and I always give his hand a little squeeze or laugh a little just so he knows that I caught it. It cracks me up, especially when it is a song that he really should know. It's been happening a lot lately, I think that he is losing his touch.

02.26.05 8:41pm

Well tonight my friends' daughter is staying the night. Isaiah is having a great time with her and I think that she is having fun too. They are currently in the bath. She will be joining us for church in the morning. Although I am not sure if she goes in the nursery, or if she has a class she can go in. I'll ask when we get there.

Our computer room is looking empty now with everything practically gone. James still has his desk and computer, but really that is about it. I am really sore all over today. Taking that three hour test today really wore me out. As it is I am tired alot just from being pregnant, but adding on the 4 times they took my blood didn't help. Not to mention sitting there the whole time. Although I did get more than half way through the 3rd Harry Potter book. So thats something. James did all the hard work really, moving those desks, mowing both lawns, and although he played with the kids for alittle while, he has pretty much been doing his side work for the past couple hours. But at least I made him lunch and dinner. I am so nice. lol

Well, I really don't know what else to write about. No one wants to hear me whine about all the aches and pains I have, and I certainly don't want to be a complainer. So I won't do that. I also have nothing else interesting to say today. Well, I do, but nothing that you guys would want to hear about. After all, this is a G Rated journal. So I have to watch what I say. Not that I would be using bad language, but you know, some topics you just shouldn't discuss when people might get offended.

I will be honest here, I can easily offend people. At least now though it's usually accidental. It used to be like 5 years ago or so, that I did it on purpose, just for fun. I can be mean sometimes. But I am not like that anymore. I keep it in check.

Anyway, talk to you all later, bye.

02.25.05 2:17am

What a day. Tomorrow won't be any easier. Today I went to pick up my new eye glass frames (thank God) and then I went to the grocery store. This new weight that I have on me is really starting to affect my walking skills. My feet and legs get tired so fast, I was practically dragging myself through the store. And then, I decided to use one of those new carts that is a car for the kids to sit in with a shopping cart attached, but I forgot about the size difference and ran into some lady's legs. Ouch. I was so tired by the end of all that.

Then, I went with my mom to the doctor in Stockton, came back, made dinner, and then we all went to go visit a friend who is having a rough time right now. We just got back from that. We watched a movie while we were there called City of God. I was not impressed, even though everyone else thought that it was either really good, or great. But whatever, they can be wrong.

    Tomorrow, or today if you count the time, I have to get up at 7am and be at Kaiser by 8am to take that stupid 3 hr. sugar test. I have to stay there that whole time. Ugh. I will bring a book of course, but can a person really sit in one of those uncomfortable chairs for that long reading? And you know that they won't have the TV on any good shows. They are gonna take my blood 4 times too.

    After all that is over, we are going to be moving two of our computer desks and one computer to my parents house. We still have to sell one desk, and two computers......anyone interested?

    After that....(it never ends) James has to do the yard work, and I get to watch him...hahahahahahaha, and then he gets to do his side work. So it's a busy day to say the least. But I am excited that this Sunday we will all be in church at the same time. I think it has been over a month.

Isaiah on the other hand is cute as ever, and has been all over me lately. I don't know what that is all about. It's like he really wants me around and wants to be around me. Which is nice, just that I am so not used to it that it can be annoying too. But I still love it, after all, he won't be doing that all the time. Well, I better go now, it's getting late, and I have a early morning. Oh, and I can't even have breakfast...isn't that awful? Ok, so anyway, cya.

I think that sometimes I accidentally put things off, things that are really important, and then someone ends up getting hurt.

I have a friend who has 5 year old twins (a boy and a girl) whom I love. I used to babysit them too. Isaiah loves playing them. I had the boy over to stay the night awhile ago, and the daughter was really wanting to have her turn, and I kept putting it off for one reason or another. You know how it is, you get busy, forget one week, then next week you remember, but you're busy. Blah blah blah....so then today, I find out that my friend's daughter has been asking a lot about me and has been upset and crying because she thinks I don't want to be with her.

I felt so bad. So I tried to call my friend today and invite her daughter to stay the night on Saturday, but I couldn't get a hold of her, I emailed her instead. I hope that she gets it in time. I really hate knowing that she is upset.

Other news: I signed up for National Geographic. I have already received my first issue. I am really excited about it because the need for knowledge is in me. Even though I knew that it was a magazine about science, and facts, I was still shocked by how much they base things on evolution. I mean I think that in the one issue that I have, and I admit I have only read half of it, but I think I have read about certain events happening millions of years ago at least 4-5 times already. I guess I just didn't realize how much of the world finds this stuff to be true. I think that it will be interesting as the months go by to see what else I find in them.

I've always loved history, it's just so hard to learn about because I can't read about it if it isn't made to sound interesting, and grab my attention. I think that the last teacher I had in school who made history really fun was in 9th or 10th grade, with
Ms. Brown. She was really strict but I knew how to work her so I didn't have a problem.

     I am watching ER right now. I love this show, but in general they can't seem to go one episode without having a small child die. It is really quite depressing. I was just gonna say that I think this episode was gonna be one of the few that didn't, but I was wrong, as a little girl just got set on fire. I hate this show, why do I watch it? All it does is make me worry more and more about all the ways that Isaiah can die.

     Do you know that Isaiah likes to use the phone, and he leaves me voice mails sometimes, and I never erase them, for fear that if he died someday, that would be the only way I could ever hear his voice again. How morbid is that?
                                                I have problems.

     I say I have problems instead of issues, because I am really getting sick of that phrase now. I think if I hear the phrase, "I have issues", one more time, I might just.....well I don't know, nothing probably, but it is getting annoying.

So, I am gonna finish watching this stupid show, and try my best to not cry when one of these injured kids dies...which is almost a certainty with this show.

It is so awesome. I love it! It takes amazing pictures, video, and I know it does more stuff but I have to read the directions to find out what. But it is so exciting. Also I have been cleaning that computer room of ours all day. Boy am I paying for it, I am in pain. But I have all tomorrow to do it again, since I am not even close to being done. I can not believe how many video games James owns. I mean really, starting with the Sega Genesis, then the Sega Saturn, Sega CD, Sega Dreamcast, and PC games. The Dreamcast alone has way too many, I haven't even gone through them all yet, but I know there are more then a hundred. It's not like we are going to be throwing these away. Oh no....these could all be worth money someday after all. According to James at least. But really, what do you do with all those?

I mean yea, store them somewhere, but is that it? They are just gonna sit somewhere gathering dust? Shouldn't they get some good use? Like being sold to make money? lol That would be the best thing. Imagine how much we could make.

That will never happen. As James has already told me that he wants to be buried with his games when he dies. Yes, he knows he can't take them with him...but he still wants me to do that. Strange huh. You would think he would want to pass them down to someone. Selfish.

Ok, I thought that I would give out some more facts about me, since I haven't in awhile.

1.) I don't like cats. I like kittens, but not cats. Cats are boring, and I think that people just assume that they are smart because they keep to themselves.

3.) Although I love dogs, I really only like the cute ones....if they aren't cute, I really don't want anything to do with them.

4.) I hate it when people park to close to my car, sometimes so close, that I can't even get in. I have to restrain my self from being a mean person.

6.) I have had the same best friend since 9th grade. But if you ask her she will tell you that I didn't expect it to last more than 3 years. I won't explain all that now though.

7.) Which is better...action movie, or romance? Action. Romance can get boring.

8.) I told my parents everything as a teen, and still do to this day. Actually, they probably know too much. lol

9.) I don't like it when there are toys in my living room. I have trained Isaiah to pretty much keep them in his room. After all, it's a living room right, not a play room.

10.) And finally............(drum roll please) I really really hate it when James is home all day...and can't clean a single thing without being asked. Doesn't he notice the mess?

Well, would you believe James is already in bed? I guess that's what happens when you only get 3-5 hours sleep every night for the last 4 nights. It's not like he was working for all of those either. Last night, he stayed up very late. How late? Well lets just say that he came to bed at a couple hours before the sun came up. The worst part is that he was tired, but he just didn't want to go to bed. What a nerd. I mean, who can play a video game for that long, really? I mean the guy looks at a computer screen for a living, then he wants to come home and play games, in front of another screen. What happened to reading a book?

In other news, I couldn't help but start cleaning out my daughters future bedroom today. I had an urge to do it. I believe that they call that the nesting period. I must be in it. I really want to get it taken care of.

The girls on American Idol tonight were just not impressive. I think that I liked 3 of them out of 12. That's sad. The guys are way better. Especially that hottie rocker guy that I like.

Ugh, what else to write about? It was a pretty boring day really. After all, I mainly tried to relax a lot so my hips wouldn't hurt so bad. I think it helped, but I can't do that everyday, Isaiah would get sick of me. At least the pain will subside when I have the kid. Usually, when I am not pregnant, I only have pain while laying on a flat surface. But this will most likely be our last child. I say most likely simply because we are like 90% sure. Yea, I think this is it for us. Ok, anyway, that's all for now.

Not only am I in a lot of pain today, but the Tylenol isn't helping. I don't know if I just slept bad last night, or if my hip pain is just getting worse, but it was hurting from the moment that I woke up and has continued on. Isaiah has been very understanding though today and has let me lay around, and I did take him for a walk this morning, which didn't help matters, but he liked it. Ah the sacrifices we make for our kids. lol

James was a lazy bum today though. I think he stayed in bed working till about 2pm today when I decided to take a nap....he says he left the room so I could sleep, as he was on the phone quite a bit. I'm just glad he got up, I was starting to think he might develop bed sores.

Tonight is another exciting installment of American Idol. (Don't I sound just like a commercial?) Actually it is exciting because my rocker guy that I like made it through and even though he has some of that grunge thing going on, I think he is really cute. I have always been attracted to the stranger looking guys though. Except James, he is normal.

Mostly the weirder the better. I remember one guy that I liked in high school looked like a vampire and he even had a unibrow going on, which yes, is ugly, but I was oddly attracted to him. I forget his name, because we just called him Vampire Boy. Of course all of these guys didn't bug my friends as much as my 3 year crush on James did. I had a crush on him all that time, and he always had a girlfriend. Every time I would see him, even if I was dating someone, I would comment on him, or something, and it drove my best friend nuts who really started to dislike him simply because of that. Of course, even when people do get to know him, James has a way of making people think that he is crazy anyway.

When we first started flirting and talking on the phone, he used to pretend that he had multiple personalities. Which at the time, I didn't realize what a good liar he was, and kind of believed him. My mom on the other hand, when I told her about what he used to say, thought that he was a nut job and that I shouldn't waste my time on him. Well, he is nutty it turns out, but not in that way. Thank goodness.

Do I not look pregnant? I mean really, when you see me walking by, with a big round tummy, do you think that I am fat, or pregnant? Because obviously, some people do not seem to grasp the concept of round big belly, equaling baby inside. Mary and I were walking up to purchase our movie tickets, and we walk by some dumb guys, and as we pass we both over hear them make some dumb remark about how I am too fat to be wearing that tight of a shirt. What the heck is that? Excuse me for having a growing belly. We both found it stupid and ignorant, but I decided he wasn't worth my time to go insult right back. Not to mention that he was probably just trying to be cool in front of his friends, who I would hope at least in their heads thought that he was the dummy. Ugh, people. I really can't stand people sometimes.

On a lighter note. The movie was great and I had a really good time with Mary. We went to eat at Lyons before hand and had spaghetti. Right now though I could really go for some ice cream, even though it is really late. Anyway, I better be done...I just wanted to complain to the whole world about that guy and his obvious lack of intelligence. I feel better.

02.20.05 3:34pm

Well, last night was great. It was just me, my two best friends, and my mom. And we had a blast. Playing games, talking, watching movies. My mom left at around 11pm but we were up till around 2am. I am really glad we did it. Although now I have a ton of extra candy here, so that is not good for my sugar levels huh? lol Oh well, one day won't kill me.

I guess that James made it to church on time today. He said he wasn't planning on it and was just gonna sleep in till when ever Isaiah woke up (which is usually late on a Sunday) but Isaiah ended up waking up on time so he took that to mean God wanted him there. I would have liked to have gone, but I didn't even wake up till 10am.

I am taking Mary (Pastor Rob's daughter) to the movies tonight also. I have no flippin idea what to take her to see though yet. I have to look and figure it out I guess. But I will be picking her up around 8pm. But until then I have to clean up this house some, it is a little bit messy from last night.

Right now, James is playing this new game that he got called Prince of Persia-The Warrior Within. He is getting his butt kicked right now by this lady. It's really funny because sometimes I can hear him making annoyed noises. HA HA, he just died again. I love when he is doing bad at a game or something....because it brings him down a notch. He is always so good at everything...I think sometimes he needs to lose. lol Sounds bad, but you don't have to live with the guy. There are really only like 2 games that we own that I have a chance at winning. One game, Risk, we have owned for over 5 years, and I have only won 1 time. Now that's pitiful. James' best friend and I even tried cheating once to make him lose, but we still lost. It's bad.

Well.....what else is there to say really? Lots? Nothing? Who knows. But one thing is for sure.....Either tomorrow or the next day I expect to be getting our new camera...and you know why we will be getting it so soon? Because we ordered it from a reputable store. :-)

Yep....I am still thinking about that. lol

Anyway, bye for now.

02.19.05 2:23pm

Today is the day of my overnight party. I am calling it that because I do feel slightly silly saying slumber party. I think that it will just be my two best friends though. Which will probably be fine. James was up ALL night last night working. I think he finally stopped when cartoons started in the morning. Then he got into bed around 9:30 a.m. And since Isaiah stayed the night at my mother-in-law's house last night, I slept in till noon. I figured I might as well get my nap in as soon as possible...so I included it in my sleeping. lol

Last night we went to see the movie Constantine. It was excellent (especially considering that Keanu Reeves was
the star).

It was all
about the devil and God, and Keanu's character, although not a priest, casts demons out of people.

If you know the comic book stories of the character, then you know that the whole point of his character is that he had tried to kill himself when he was young, and dies for like 2 minutes, and was in hell for that time, so now since he knows where he is going when he dies, he is trying to constantly buy his way into heaven (which he also knows he can't do). Don't worry, me telling you that didn't give anything important away. It was a good movie, lots of fictional religious stuff (and some thought provoking things too). I really enjoyed it. And in case you're someone who cares, there was only a little cussing, and no nudity.

This morning I was sitting down on the couch and I saw my tummy move. Usually I can only see it when I am laying down, because my tummy is flatter then, but this was the first time I could see it while sitting down. Wow time is flying by. I feel like she will be here in no time at all.

Tonight James, Isaiah, and I are going out to dinner in Elk Grove, and then we will be dropping Isaiah off at James' mom's house for him to stay the night while we go to a late movie. Then....Saturday night, instead of bringing him home, James will also go there and stay the night at his mom's house with Isaiah that night, since Saturday night I am having that over night party for my birthday. I am not sure, but I think that James might actually go to church with his mom that Sunday....as he hasn't seen the people from that church in a very long time. She goes to a Orthodox Catholic church, I don't know the name of it.

I am getting so sick and tired of The Maury Povich Show. I just now saw another ad for his program, and big surprise, it's all about shocking paternity results. That man does not know what it means to do a variety of shows. All he ever does is paternity tests, lie detectors, boot camp for teens, and make-overs. I am so sick of these stupid shows that have nothing good to offer. It's no wonder that Oprah is number one, at least she has good topics. Why do people watch this junk? Do I really need to know who fathered some stupid lady's baby? No, I don't care, and I also don't care about some jerk guy who claims he didn't cheat on his girl and needs a lie detector test to prove it. Ugh, the world has gone down the drain in a big way. It is sickening. Why oh why am I raising my child among this?

Oh, and here is something else very frustrating. Remember that camera that we bought from that stupid company Best Buy Digital? Well, after the first order, and after that call, it ended up not being in stock...which was stupid since it was on the website as in stock. Well, the order got canceled, and they said when it came in on Wednesday, we could order it again. Well we called, they said they had it in, we ordered it again. Then.....the next day, the very next day, turns out that they don't have it in, and they never will. Yet they still have it as available to purchase on their website. OH MY GOODNESS!!! James called them today and found all this out and oh my was he mad. I give him credit for not cussing them out, as I probably would have done, but he did let them have it. The worst part is that they didn't even care, they gave him a lame apology, and didn't even care. What a loser company, never ever purchase anything from there. Ever. We just ended up getting the camera from Costco.com, at least I know that I will actually get it. Even if I did have to pay the regular price.

So....what is the lesson that James should learn from this whole camera experience......That I was RIGHT! Yep, I told him it was a bad idea, I told him that I didn't trust that company. Did he listen to me? No. Of course not, you know why, because he thinks that he is always right. Don't get me wrong, he usually is....but sometimes....I am right. I was right this time. Oh yea!!! Score one for me.

lol Anyway, that's enough bragging. I am gonna go now. I have things to do and naps to take.

So far I think that today will be a better day. Isaiah is in a good mood, and I feel good too. I have Saturday's party to look forward to anyway, and hopefully that will be fun. I don't see how it couldn't be. Even if it is just a couple of my close friends. James came home last night and we stayed up chatting for quite a while. He even brought me a chicken sandwich. I was really glad to have him home, even if he was gonna be leaving again in like 9-10 hours. I really miss him sometimes when he is gone like that. I wish that he was able to just take a vacation without them calling him about every little problem. That is the bad thing about being the only person there who knows what they are doing. They all want his help.

This morning Isaiah woke up at around 6:30 am screaming in his bed, I don't know what made him do that, but by the time he calmed down he said he wanted to go to the living room. That was not gonna happen. So we brought him to our room to go back to sleep. The kid usually wakes up no later than 8 am, so I wasn't about to get up that early with him.

Isaiah is playing this video game of James' right now called Fable. It is a role playing game where your character grows from a child to old man and all the choices you make will affect the kind of person you are.....good or bad. It cracks me up though because he has figured out how to use the weapons on the character and he is killing people left and right. It is kinda funny really. The nice thing is that since he has grown up around this stuff since like day one, he knows that these are just games, and that we "play" them. So thats good. I know this since he always says, "I wanna play game." And points to the X-Box. The only bad thing that I can see coming from this really is that he gets so attached that he eventually wants to do nothing else but that......but we take care of that by only letting him play for so long everyday, and I only let him play with the X-Box every other day. I think that helps alot too.

He is definitely a different little boy though, he even likes scary movies a lot, and never seems to get scared. I don't think that he has ever even had a problem sleeping after watching one. Sometimes I think that all of these different types of things he gets to do is what makes him not really want to play with other kids. Almost like there are things that he wants to do, that the other kids don't know or care about and vice versa. I really can't help but wonder how completely opposite our daughter will be. I mean especially considering just the girl factor, she will have a whole new personality that I am gonna have to get used to. I think that it will be really nice to watch James with her too.

Some members of my family have been getting on my case about having my maiden name as her middle name. I just don't think they understand why I want to do it. I remember when I was little, I never thought to myself, that I was more than an Arredondo, I never thought about the fact that my mom had a last name before she got married and that she has a family history outside her marriage, I was just an Arredondo. I don't want my kids to think of themselves as just one thing too. I want them to know all sides of their family. I think that this will serve as a good reminder. Not that Isaiah and Evelyn won't have my mom and dad there to remind them, but I really think that as a kid, you just accept that you are what your name is. My last name was Arredondo, and that's what I was. And I think that most kids probably end up thinking that way and not even realizing it. Even if they do get to be around their mothers family, it just seems like one of those things. Anyway, there is my insight for the day.

I wrote this journal this morning because Survivor starts tonight and there are also other shows on, so I know that I will just be too distracted to write this later. Thursdays are a big TV night....I wish that I had Tivo. That would be the best. Why do they have to be so expensive?

What a horrible birthday. I have been alone all day except for when my mom came over around six tonight to visit me for a little while. I got some phone calls, and some cards, which was nice, but I have been alone all day with Isaiah and James won't even be home till really late. Honestly I am feeling pretty sad. I know that I should eat something for dinner, but I don't know what I want. I want to go out really, but with what car and with who? ugh I hate this.

I wish that I had another car, so I could just take Isaiah out with me and we could go get some food. Actually, I wish someone would bring me some food, as a gift. lol

Anyway though, besides the terrible birthday fact, it has been an ok day. Raining, but ok. Isaiah and I played, and took a nap. I cleaned the whole house, and did some laundry. Fun huh? lol aahhh...what else should I write about? I really don't know. Oh, yea I do, I said before that I might put another one of those poems in here huh? I will do that, maybe it will make me feel better too. Let's see. Here is a good one, and it is kind of Bible related too.

I think that is a wonderful poem. I really really do. What a wonderful message. That thinking you want to be kind, or a good person, is not enough. You have to work at it, you have to put in an effort. That is so true. Things don't just come to those who wait, you have to be proactive. I think with that I will end for the day. Reading that poem over 5 times, really made me feel better. I think that sometimes it really takes more than one reading to get the message...and I got it. Hope you all liked it as well.

Rain rain go away. How are the pregnant girls of the world supposed to get their walking in if it is raining? I guess God just wants me to be lazy today. You know what I do love about the weather though, is when the weather man on the news says one thing, and then God changes it all around and makes the weather completely different the next day. I always feel like it is one of the ways God plays jokes. I can just see him laughing in heaven. I know, that's silly.

Tomorrow is my birthday!! Yea me. 25 years old. Honestly I think it is strange how fast time flew by. I really feel like it was only a few years ago that I was 19 or so. I can't believe that James and I have almost been married for 7 years. I always try to treasure all my days, and really make them count, but it seems like the days turn into weeks so quickly. One minute I had a baby...now I have a kid. And another baby coming. Do young people today even have a clue about how fast their lives are going to go by? It is scary almost. To think that if another seven years go by that fast, I will be in my thirties in no time at all. Then you have to start thinking about where you want to be in those next 7 years. Do you want to have a different house? Have already started saving for your retirement? (something James and I are already doing). What about your kids.....you have to have a plan for them, in the sad case that you both die while they are young.

James and I have already started on that too. There is just so much to consider when you have kids. When you are getting ready to have them, you don't think about what will happen to them if you die. You are just so excited to have them. I think that as they age, it kinda occurs to you. It's like a light bulb turns on and you think to yourself, "Hey, if I'm gone, where is this kid gonna go?" Then there is trying to figure out who you trust most to raise them the same way that you would...who has the same values? And hopefully you are lucky and there is someone. I can't imagine what some people do who have nobody they trust for that.

I am so lazy. Really, I am so lazy. Yes, I keep my house clean, but it's not that hard. Isaiah keeps his toys in his room, and I just pick up after little messes. Really, all those times that James is joking around and says I am lazy, and then some body goes in to defend me and says how hard I work and that taking care of a home and kid is the hardest work around....... I really am just laughing inside. I really don't work hard. I have it way to easy. Maybe what those people say will become true when I have this next baby. Maybe then I will be tired for a good reason. lol Until then James gets too call me lazy, and it is actually true. lol

Amazingly enough, James took me shopping today for Valentines Day/ Birthday Presents. It was great. I got to get 3 more shirts that were really cute at Mervyns and I bought a movie that I have been wanting for a long time. James' mom also gave me a $20.00 gift certificate so that went towards the shirts. One in particular is very beautiful.

We got our new printer today. And I was shocked that UPS actually came to our door and made sure that we were home. Usually they just leave stuff at our door, knock, and leave. It is very frustrating and I can't stand them. But maybe since this package was huge, that made them rethink it. Either way though, it is a awesome printer. It is also a fax machine, copy machine, and scanner. Whew! I'm loving it. Now if that stupid camera would get here.

You know what's funny? James went out to the bank today, and while he was out he saw a flower store and said to himself, "I should get Eva a rose." Then he thought, "Nah, I hate Valentines Day." Then he got home and read my last journal and thought, "Ugh, stupid idiot!" lol I think that is hilarious.

Isaiah had some money today too and so he got to buy some things. Of course he got swords. Hard plastic ones that would be sure to injure another little kid if used wrong. I will have to watch that. He can be so destructive. Lucky for me he tends to ignore other kids. He would rather have a sword fight with himself.

Kaiser called me today. Evidently, my last sugar test came back, and it wasn't good. My sugar level is supposed to be at 140, but it is at 163. That is bad, and can make me have a large baby again, and make me gain too much weight. Also bad. So, they are going to be putting me on a special diet (ugh) and I have to get retested later. I can only imagine what they are going to have me eat. Which isn't going to be easy since I pretty much hate all vegetables. I am going to have to try my best I guess, after all, if it continues on there is also a chance that I could develop a certain type of diabetes (did I spell that right?) that pregnant women can get. I could tell it worried my dad a little, since his dad died from diabetes. His name was Fernando Arredondo. It is where Isaiah got his middle name. Funny huh. Isaiah has a very ethnic name. Isaiah Fernando Moore. It's like he is Hebrew, Mexican, and White all in one. The next kid will be a little bit better. Evelyn Arredondo Moore.

Yes, that's right, her middle name will be my maiden name. I know it's not normal, but I think it sounds beautiful, and I am very proud of that name, so I want our kids to have it in there somewhere.

Oh, and I finished reading through the book of Matthew for the first time in the bible. I was pretty proud. Now I am starting on Mark. It amazes me though how completely different they are. I mean in Mark it says a little about John the Baptist, and then boom, we are at Jesus and he is being tempted in the wilderness. I mean where is everything else? Did he just assume that other people would write things too and put the other stuff in there for him. What if they hadn't? What if no one else had written about his birth? I bet Mark would be feeling pretty dumb then. lol Ok, I'm just messing around, a little bit. But I do think it is strange. You would think that they should all be kinda similar. So people don't get confused.

So tired yet again. Last night around 2 am or so, Isaiah started crying. I went into his room and although he was crying, and talking about nothing that I could understand, he was still asleep. After much poking and prodding he finally woke up but was still talking nonsense. So we let him sleep in our room, since he was so upset and confused. Big mistake. Isaiah decided to cling to me all night and I ended up with about one foot of sleeping space, while James had the whole bed. It was so uncomfortable for me, that I finally gave up and went to the couch, which in the end was another bad idea. So, amongst all that, and the 10 times that I must have gotten up to use the bathroom, I am amazed I stayed awake in church at all. Not to mention the fact that it seemed like the music in church today went on longer than usual and my legs and feet were hurting. Doesn't Dan know how to sit down and sing? lol j/k

While I was driving home today from church all by my lonesome I started thinking about my favorite poem. I hadn't thought about it in awhile, and I decided to share it with you. It is from a book of inspirational poems for men, that my Great Grandpa's sister gave me when I was 10 years old. I don't care that they are for men though, they are great poems for anyone. The book is so old, that it is falling apart. But I love it and I love that she gave it to me.

So what do you think? I personally love it. But I suppose that if you wanted to be nit picky you could have some complaints. Like the fact that God is really in control, and all of that. But you know, when it comes to any kind of entertainment, I really like to just take things for what they are. It's a poem. That's all. And a good one. I think that it is inspiring to people who might be struggling. This book has a lot of great poems actually. Maybe I will put in another one tomorrow.

My Great Grandma Nora Wright and my Grandma Sheila are coming over for dinner tonight. I will be receiving my birthday cake, heart shaped, as I always do. I love my cake. Grandma Wright makes me a heart shaped cake every year for my birthday. How sad it will be when the first year comes that I don't get one.

Here is a good question. Why is it that every time I come home.....there is something around the house that is trash, or just not where it should be, and James has left it there? Why is it that this man of mine, can not close a cupboard door after opening one? Why is it? Really.

You know the worst part, these are all useless questions. Because, no matter what I do, he will always open a cupboard and leave it open, he will always get off the phone with someone and when I asked all of two minutes later what he talked about, he will say he forgot. lol You know what he thinks is a good answer to his memory problems? He says that his brain is already so full, that there isn't any room for anything else. uh huh. sure.

Don't get me wrong, I am not upset about it....he has been this was forever. But I do find it curious that the longer we have been together, the more frequent it is. Almost like he is just getting used to me putting everything away for him. If I was able to, I would just go on strike, and let everything build up in the house till it was so bad that even he would want to clean up, but I couldn't do that, I am way to clean of a person. I have to have things looking a certain way. It would drive me nuts. Got a room that needs cleaning, organizing....that's me. I would do it for you. For some reason it just makes me feel good to look around and see a once dirty and unorganized room, look great when I am done. I really should be a house keeper. Oh well.

Anyway....tomorrow is Valentines Day. Who cares. I did get a card for James, and I got one for Isaiah to give him too. That will be sweet. But other than that I don't think anything special will happen. We don't usually care about this holiday. I should say, James never gives me anything, so I just say that we don't do anything. But yea, a single red rose would be nice. But in the end I don't care, he loves me everyday, not just tomorrow. Ok, so that's all. Talk to you later. Bye

I did take Isaiah to the doctor today though and it is a good thing that I did. It turns out that the reason he was getting worse is because he has an ear infection. So, there goes another Sunday that one of us will be missing church. And next Sunday we will both miss it since I will be having my birthday party thing and James will be going to church with his mom I think, since he will be staying the night at her house anyway. He thought that she would like that.

I feel particularly fat by the way. I feel very heavy, like my whole front is being pulled down. It is uncomfortable and knowing that I still have so much time left is not helping. I bet this is going to be another heavy kid. I just know it. And I am gonna have to have another cesarean and that means I will have to have that stupid needle again. That epidural was the worst pain I have ever experienced in my whole life. Really. I don't want to do it again. But if this is another big baby I will have to since we already know that the big ones won't fit through me. Ugh.

Did I ever mention that we have a free week long trip to Hawaii coming up in October? Well, we do, from James' work. Kind of as a thank you for all his hard work. They have a time share we get to stay at and they will be providing for the plane tickets. Here is the thing. I don't know if I want to go. I know, crazy huh? But not to me. I am so scared to fly. I always have been and truth be told I really have no urge to go travel to distant places anyway. I am perfectly happy where I am. But, James really wants to go and will be so disappointed if I say no. But, I just can't get myself to say a complete yes. I just have this horrible irrational feeling that if I get on that plane we will die. And as you know from previous journal entries, I do not want to die yet. I just feel like there is such a big chance that something bad could happen. Why would I want to take that risk? Especially with at least one of my children going with us.

Don't get me wrong, I am sure it would be fun, but it just seems like a whole lot of trouble, just for a trip that I am risking possible death for. I don't know....I want to make a decision....I need to. But James keeps putting off talking about it since he doesn't want to hear me say no. And really if I knew he didn't care one way or the other I would just say no...I am so scared and nervous. I mean can't they spend that same amount of money and send us somewhere else. Somewhere in driving distance, or train, or even a cruise? That I could go for, at least there is the chance of survival with a cruise if something goes wrong. I don't know what I am going to do, I need to figure it out though, before they start purchasing the tickets ahead of time. Whatever....and now James just said, "Can I read what your writing?" Great. Sure you can honey, if you wanna be disappointed. lol Anyway, that's all I guess. See ya.

Where do I start? Ok, so I got to buy some new clothes today!!! I am so excited. Especially since I only allowed myself a hundred dollars and since so many items were on sale I was able to get quite a bit. Two pants, and four shirts. And, my mom got me some PJ's and a bathrobe which I am currently wearing. :-) The only downside to all that shopping is that now my hips a little more than they should due to all the walking I did in the mall. Plus trying on clothes while pregnant can make you tired.

But, before all that even happened my friend Tiffany came over today to visit. She brought her daughter and son with her and so Isaiah got to play with them. Although he is still sick, and his cough seems to be getting worse. I am thinking that I should take him to the doctor on Monday as this cold has been going on now for at least 3 weeks. I certainly don't want to take him to church like that, so if my mom and dad want to watch him for us I will do that, otherwise, one of us will just stay home with him. Poor kid is having a hard time sleeping because of it all, which is just really sad. To me at least.

Also, Valentine's Day is coming up quick...and although James and I won't be getting each other any presents (we never do for that holiday) I was noticing that on certain commercials lately there seems to be an abundance of jewelry ads. Men giving girls sapphire rings, ear rings, blah blah blah. But you know what I was thinking.....men should not get any woman they are dating and in love with a gift that comes in a ring sized box. They should not do it. And I am sure if you think about it you can figure out why....but if not, I will help. In my opinion, if a guy pulled out a small box, which looked like it could be holding a ring, my first thought would be that this man is going to ask me to marry him. That is what I would think. And, I think most women would agree. So, when the guy gives you this gift, and you open it to find some stupid ear rings, your only thoughts are going to be, "Oh, that's all it is." It's a bummer, even if you didn't want to get married, even if you never considered it before, still, when you see that box, that's the very first thought. Don't you think so? I think that if you are gonna get a girl a ring, or something small like that, just be creative, put it in her wine glass, or just have it in your hand and give it to her, any thing but making her think that there is a diamond in that box.

Oh, and may I just add that although what those people called James about in regards to that camera we purchased wasn't a big deal, all of 5 hours after talking to that guy James gets an email saying that the camera is temporarily out of stock, and we will be notified when it comes in. What is that about? Shouldn't the website say that? That way people are aware in advance. Every other website I have seen does this. But for some reason, these people find it to be unnecessary. Luckily for them, before James got around to being rude, they told him that the camera "should" be in by Wednesday. So we will see what happens. But I knew these people were no good. Should have just ordered from Costco. Anyway, enough about that.

Last night one of my maternity pants ripped. Not the pant part, but the elastic part. I am gonna have to sew it. This is really bugging me though since I only have the two pants to wear as it is. ( I have to do laundry quite often ) Now my shirts that I have are getting to small also. I guess you could say that I am getting to big for them, as they no longer cover my belly up properly. I don't really know what to do about it. Obviously I need to go buy some new clothes, but I have to figure out where to get the money. Maybe some of our taxes, or maybe one of James' side jobs can help pay for it. Either way it can't come soon enough. I am getting sick of wearing the same stuff over and over again.

My best friend Tiffany is coming over tomorrow to hang out for awhile, so I am looking forward to that. She lives in West Point so I only get to talk to her on the phone usually. She is the one who is planning my birthday party. But today should be rather uneventful.

Last night we ordered our new camera and printer online. I really wanted to just get the one from costco.com but James really wanted to look around and see if he could get the same camera for cheaper at a different website. That really makes me nervous, since it isn't a store that I know. I gave in to him and we found the camera for almost two hundred dollars cheaper. So that was nice. After we bought the camera, and the printer, we still had $110.00 left. I am going to put it all in Isaiah's savings account. That should boost it up a little bit. Every once in a while I think it is good to put extra in there, just to make sure he hits the desired amount by the time he is 18. I figure he should almost have $10,000 by then. I hope that when we give it to him, that he won't spend it on something stupid. I would like it to be for school, or a place to live, or a car. Something useful. I guess you can only hope though. Who knows, maybe he will use it to buy some girl a wedding ring huh? After all, it's possible, I got married right out of high school. I think a place to live would be best though....get him out of my house. lol

You know, some people talk about having the empty nest syndrome. I know my mom had it, she didn't want me to move out, she missed me a lot. But let me tell you what, my dad was glad to have me gone. He couldn't wait to have my mom all to himself. I think that will be me too. I bet I am gonna be happy to do nothing but lay in bed again if I want to. lol Not that I won't miss them a little bit, but I think over all, I will be fine. Anyway, that's it for now.

P.S. Some guy from the company we ordered the camera from just called. Said he needed to talk to James about getting more information from him regarding our credit card. I don't like the sound of that. What the heck else could he need? We entered all the info.....ugh, I hate this.

My friend Lorenda came by today to pick up a cd. She was babysitting some kids and had to bring them with her. One of them, was the little girl who "accidentally" knocked down Isaiah and hurt his mouth. Honestly, I was not to happy about her coming over. I guess I am harboring some ill will towards her. But she came and it was fine, as I knew it would be. I need to stop holding a grudge, especially since she is only like 9 years old. lol That can't be good.

I was waiting for them to get here today though so I didn't get to take Isaiah for a walk. Now I think it will be getting dark soon, so there is no point. I'll be glad when he is old enough that I can send him out on his own to walk the dogs or something. Not that the dogs need walking, but I want to make sure that Isaiah is being active. I don't want him to be like me. From what I remember, I was always in front of the TV or playing in my room with my toys. I want Isaiah to be active. I think my lack of activity really contributed to my weight gain....and not doing it when I was young, led to my not being active when I was older. Hopefully Isaiah will want to be in some kind of sporting thing. As it is, I think he will be, he loves to rough house with James, run, climb, and do anything outside. So it looks good. Hopefully Isaiah's video game obsession will not overpower it...he is so much like his dad. Isaiah wants to be just like him, and since that's what daddy does, that's what he wants to do to.

We got our state taxes back today. I am so happy. I think that I am going to see if James wants to order our stuff online tonight. I want to get that new camera. We gave my dad our old digital camera, he wanted it. I think that he will like having it, since they haven't had one before. And we are going to be giving our old printer to my brother in-law. They need a better one.

I miss when I was pregnant with Isaiah, and I was alone all day, and I got to just be a bum and lay in bed for as long as I want. It can be frustrating sometimes when I am tired, and I can't just get in bed because I have to watch Isaiah. I guess that is to be expected though. And I wouldn't have it any other way.....after all, someday Isaiah won't care if I am even in the room.

Isn't that sad? I was just telling James last night, that I wonder if it will be just as wonderful when Isaiah is a teenager. Will I think that he is just as fun to watch and look at? I was thinking not, because he won't have the same innocence. Then, James made the point that it will be even more exciting to watch Isaiah learn to drive, graduate, get married, and become responsible. Yes, I guess that those will be wonderful, exciting events. So maybe the fun doesn't all end after all.

One more week till my birthday. I am kind of excited. James says that he is going to get me a small birthday cake, and he says that I will even be getting a present from him. That will be nice. The better thing would be if he was going to be home on my birthday. But he has to work that day in San Mateo, so I guess it will just be me and Isaiah. Maybe we will be bums that day and watch movies all day long. Isaiah would like that.

I really really hate it when I am trying to take a nap and the world is against me. Either the phone rings, the dogs storm out of my room barking at nothing a zillion times, or something else stupid. I really wanted a nap today too. But whatever.

My grandma called me today to tell me that one of my cousins had their baby. I should say his girlfriend had their baby. 11lbs 9 oz whew! And it was a girl. That is crazy, and I thought that Isaiah was big. I just hope they gave her a lot of drugs for that delivery.

Tonight is the last episode of the Amazing Race, and since it is a 2 hour deal, I will get to watch the last hour at least, since American Idol is on also. I don't know why there are some shows that I just have to watch. Another example is Survivor. I love that show. I really think though that it would be great if they did a celebrity Survivor. Not with just lame not doing anything anymore celebrities...but real good ones. I mean like put Tom Cruise out there, Natalie Portman, Denzel Washington, Drew Barrymore..people like that. Can you imagine the ratings that show would get then? Everyone would watch. It would be great to see which so called "nice" celebrities start telling lies, and tricking people. And of course the winnings would go to charity, since they have enough money. I think that would be awesome.

Anyway though, other than my complete lack of a nap (I know, what a stupid thing to complain about) I had a good day. I went for a walk with Isaiah even though my hips really start hurting after like a block. And then he played outside with the dogs. So I guess it was a good day. Although I have no idea what to eat for dinner. When James is gone in San Mateo I don't usually make dinner, so then I end up having no idea what to eat. Cereal? Already had it. Sandwich? Don't want it. Ugh, whatever...I'll think of something.

Ok, so the day was good. But then like two hours ago, something inside me just felt wrong. I don't know how to explain it except to say that my whole body felt wrong. It was like I had a headache, but no pain, my lower back hurt, my arms were restless, and my belly felt like it was stretching at that very moment. I felt horrible, cranky, and I just wanted everything to be quiet. So....I went and took a shower, and that wasn't even helping until I decided to try the cold water. Now that felt better for some reason. It refreshed me.

Sometimes I wish that I could just fake it...pretend that I feel fine.. but you know, it isn't always possible. Thank God I have a great husband who lets all my strangeness roll right off his shoulders.

Right now James is cleaning up a little bit of stuff in the kitchen. Another example of his kindness. It isn't much though, and that's why I asked him. Just a few things to put away.

This morning, while we were laying in bed awake....the baby started doing all kinds of movements in my stomach. I mean it felt like she was doing flips. James got to feel them all and it was so exciting. Isaiah never really did that when he was in me, he would just poke at me all day. This was so great though. It made us both have big smiles.

James: Hi all, this is James the husband adding a little bit on this entry. I'd just like you all to know that I've been reading whateva since the beginning, mostly to make sure my wife isn't bad mouthing me. You know what I've found.... she IS! She also says nice things about me too, which you would think should balance it all out, but every night when I read this blog, and that's what it is, a blog, not an online journal as some would have you think, but every night after I read it, I am forced to lock my wife in a cage to punish her for her misdeeds!

Not cleaning the house, not watching the kid,complete and utter lack of faith in the competence of her extremely responsible...and dastardly handsome might I say, husband...who is me.

Eva felt it would be beneficial to have me read this entry before it went out. She even offered to let me add some of my own words. Isn't she sweet?.... DON'T BE FOOLED! I'm going to finish this right now, then I'm sending her right back to that cage! James

Ok, so now that James is done venting, I guess I could finish this off by saying that.....well, I don't know how to finish this off. I mean what else can you say? Yes, my husband needs Prozac. He sometimes thinks that he is locking me in a cage when really I am locking myself in a room to simply get away. But whatever, let him believe what he wants. LOL ok, not really, we are just kidding.....mostly.......I will go back to my cage now. lol

The Super Bowl is on, and I am watching it. I don't know why, especially since I am alone right now. James took Isaiah to the park. Even though I don't like football, I always find it hard to not watch the Super Bowl. Almost like, since the whole world is watching, obviously I should be too, other wise I am missing out. Stupid huh?

At least the commercials are good though....I mean that's really the important part. lol

James came home this morning at around 9:30am....then went back to sleep. Evidently the party didn't end until about 4am. Whew!

After a little bit longer of a nap, we got all the yard work done...well, James got it done. Really, that's the great part about being pregnant. There are a ton of things you probably shouldn't do, and a lot of things you aren't allowed to do. Like mow the lawn. I love it. And if you are smart, you will take advantage in public too. One time, like a month ago, James and I went to the movies, and we are sitting there, and I say, "James I'm thirsty, can you go get me something?" And he said, "No, go get it your self." Now, this went on for about two minutes....until I said, with just enough volume so those around could here...."James, please go get me a drink, I'm pregnant." lol He gave me one of those looks that said he couldn't believe I just pulled that one. Now, if he doesn't go, he is the bad guy. HAHAHAHA It was great, and he went.

No guy wants to look like the bad husband in public, especially if their woman is pregnant.

Ok, so I better go start dinner, James is home now, and I should at least pretend to be doing what a house wife does. lol

Well, today started off good. But, then it got a little lonely as James left to go hang out with his best friend for the day in Elk Grove. But I was glad that he went, he needed to get out and have some fun. He came home about an hour ago, and will be leaving yet again to go back to his friends house where there will be a party. So, since that doesn't start till almost 11pm tonight, he will just be staying the night there. Maybe while he is gone I will have my boyfriend over. lol Just kidding. Actually I would usually go to, since they are also my friends, but I am sick, and don't want to infect anyone else. So, since we only have the one car, and James will be gone till morning, that means we will both be absent from church tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday right? I don't even know who is playing. Well, I heard something about the Patriots, but that's all I remember. I guess that's ok though, how many girls actually care about that anyway. We only watch the commercials. I am so glad that I married a guy who is not interested in sports. I mean he knows the rules, and how to play, but we don't watch them at home, he doesn't care. And I am glad. I don't have to worry about him having to take hours out of the day to watch some lame basketball game. Instead, I get to watch him sit in front of the TV for 6-8 hours at a time, playing on his X-BOX. Now thats fun. Yea Right.

The man is like a machine. He will play sport games.....like football. And playing one game of football on that thing takes almost 2 hours. That's one game....he tries to play the whole season, not in one sitting mind you, but still. It goes on forever. One time, when he had a different system, he had put in like almost 20 hours into a season of football, and while he was gone one day I wanted to play another game, but there wasn't enough memory to save it, so I decided to delete his games....oh boy was I in trouble for that one. He came home, started it up, and guess what? It was gone. Don't ask me how that happened. lol He was not a happy gamer.

Well, it's Friday and I am not feeling any better. I thought I would be, but no. Hopefully I will be able to attend church, but if not it will just be James. I did take Isaiah to the park today though. It was the one down Hutchins street that just got renovated a few months back, so everything is new. There were some guys there though with a strange device dropping this metal cylinder from different heights and taking what looked like information from another instrument. I asked what they were doing and evidently they were testing the ground to make sure that it was meeting regulations. You know, making sure it was soft enough if a kid fell down. It was really neat to know that they actually do that stuff. How cool.

James has been working so hard, he came home last night, and got right back to work. I don't think that he stopped until 3am. Sometimes his line of work can be very stressful....well, a lot of the time. Especially for him though since they rely on him for so much. But right now he is actually done for the day!! So I told Isaiah that he better take advantage and play with him. He completely agreed and they are currently wrestling in front of me. Isaiah is so in love with his dad. Of course James won't always be his hero, so I also tell James to enjoy it too.

It's different with girls though. Or at least it certainly can be depending on the dad and how bad they want it. With my dad it is. He is still my hero. Sometimes I find it difficult to realize that he is going to someday be old. I always think of him as being able to do anything, and knowing that he will be old and possibly dependent on me is very hard to deal with. It's the same way with my mom, she is my best friend, and looks so young, I don't think that it would look right if she had grey hair and wrinkles everywhere.

James just noticed that Isaiah needs his diaper changed. And it isn't just pee. And you no what's nice? He is gonna change it. That really isn't a big deal this day and age, but I am realizing that it would have been 20-30 years ago. According to my mom, my dad never ONCE changed any of my diapers. Never. Can you believe it? And James' dad was the same way. And, my dad still does it. If Isaiah stays the night at their house, he won't even watch Isaiah with out my mom their. And one time, a few months ago...Isaiah stayed the night at James' mom's house, and his dad let Patty sleep in, so he watched Isaiah for her. That is nice and all, but she said that when she got up Isaiah still had the same diaper on from all night long because he wouldn't change it. lol Isn't that funny. Now what is it about men from that era that makes them so against changing diapers? I think that this phenomenon is worth checking out. lol ok, maybe not.

I am feeling better today. My voice sounds better at least. That's something.

Today I took Isaiah for a walk, we had a good time and I love watching him see new things. Today he found an acorn on the ground and thought that it was the coolest thing. He put it in his pocket and kept it till we got home. It must be so nice to be so carefree. I remember when I was really young, and I always wanted to be a grownup so I could do more things. And now I realize that being a kid was really the best. No major worries, just do your homework, talk with friends, play. Anytime there was a big problem, you certainly were not made aware....your parents handled it. That's freedom.

It would be so nice to have that again, even for a little bit. Sometimes I think that it is so hard being an adult, knowing how hard the whole world is. Knowing that there are so many people who are cruel, who don't care....having to know that people are out there who will hurt you and your kids. The devil has his hands in so many lives...it scares me to raise Isaiah in this chaos. But then.....I get to look at him....I get to see his smile, I get to hear him talk to me on the phone when he misses me. I get to dry his tears and hold him tight. When that happens I really feel.....well, I can't really express how it makes me feel. Actually I have been sitting here trying to think of what to type, and I can't think of any words. And I guess that is just natural. After all, when it comes to your kids, there are no words to express how you feel. I hate the fact that someday Isaiah is going to be older, and not want those things from me. He won't miss me like he does now, he won't get hurt and run to me. It's sad. I want him to stay a toddler much longer. I don't want to forget what this time is like. ahh....why do kids have to grow up? :-)

So anyway...now that I am done being all lovey dovey about my son....I can also say that tomorrow I get the car. Yea for Fridays!! I don't know what I will do though yet, as I am still sick and Isaiah is too. So I guess there won't be any visiting of family. But we will think of something. Maybe I will take him to a "good" park so he can play. Since I won't be taking him to the one near my house. I should have called the city about that incident and complained. Oh well. Too late now.

I am sick. I woke up this morning and my throat felt tight and sore, and my voice was half gone. Ugh. I hate when you start the day like that. So instead of taking Isaiah for a walk like I would usually do on such a pretty day, I opted to let him play in the backyard. And he has a playground back there anyway, so it is just as good. I hope that I don't stay sick for long though, I remember when I was pregnant with Isaiah and I got sick, it lasted for over a month. It was horrible. So hopefully that won't happen this time. Basically today all I did was play with Isaiah.

We filed our taxes last night. I am so excited, doing it our selves with the Turbo Tax was so easy and didn't cost us near as much. And I guess that doing your taxes over the internet makes it so you get your money sooner too because it said that if our taxes are accepted (which we will find out in 1-2 days) then the money gets automatically deposited to our bank account in like 4-5 days. That is so awesome.

This year instead of fixing up our house more, we have decided to splurge and buy a brand new 7 mega pixel digital camera and a brand new printer. YEA!!! I am so excited. Especially with the new baby coming. Not that I won't still use a regular camera that takes film. That is simply the best if you ask me. They always look better and it is nice to hold the picture in your hand and put it in a album. But, you never know....7 mega pixels is really good. And although we won't be printing up all of those, we can definitely put them on a cd to save. I have one cd in I think Isaiah's 2nd photo album that contains over 400 pictures. That was when we were "borrowing" his work camera quite often.

On a different note....about a month ago my last pair of contact lens' tore. So I have been only using my glasses until this month came around. (Since I can only re-order once a year) Well, I was being lazy about calling to make an appt with my eye doctor, but, now I will be calling for sure tomorrow since my eye glasses broke today too. I can't believe it. And it's the part that goes around my ears too. So right now they are on me but they look hecka funny leaning to one side and I am missing a big part of them. I don't think I will be going out in public much until they are fixed. How embarrassing.

Well, anyway, James will be home soon....the house is clean....and hopefully James will remember that I asked him to pick up some medicine for me. I doubt it though, since he decided to stop by and visit his brother before coming home. I am almost sure that having done that he will forget about my request. So....I will suffer another day. lol Oh well....until tomorrow then.

Speaking of James, he is on his way home right now. So I imagine if traffic goes well he should be home around 7:45pm or so. That means that he will be able to watch American Idol with me. Not that he wants to. He really doesn't like those shows, but sometimes he humors me and will sit through them. I love him. I don't write about our marriage much I realize, but that is because it would all just be ,"Things are fine, we love each other, blah blah blah." I mean we really have a great marriage...so there isn't any complaining for me to do...there aren't any arguments to vent about. We don't have any.....never have. We disagree sometimes, sure, but we talk them out, every time...and we never yell. People don't usually believe us though when we say that. But I don't care, not my problem. So anyway, if you were wondering why I don't write much about that, there it is....it would all be boring mushy stuff and no one wants to read that. I wouldn't.

At one point today Isaiah and I watched the 4th Superman Movie. You know the one where Superman (Christopher Reeves) gets rid of all the nuclear weapons. And you know, although they were great movies then, they are just ok now. I mean the dialogue is kinda cheesy, almost overly dramatic. So now it just comes off as silly. They (who ever they are) are currently casting for a new Superman movie. I think it starts filming in a few months. I hope they do a good job, the guy who directed the X-Men movies will be directing it. So it should be. By the way, if you want to know everything and anything that is happening in movies being made, trailers, or whatever....go to www.comingsoon.net It is the best. I go there everyday because they constantly have updates on who just signed for what movie, and pictures from the filming. Ok, so that's all......Isaiah wants to play with something, so I gotta go find out what that something is.

Bye