01.31.05                                                                   9:02pm

    Hhhhmmmm, well, Isaiah is doing better.  His lip is bruised, and swollen still, and his front gums above his teeth are purple and bloody looking.  Somehow that is better.  The dentist said to keep a close eye on him and make sure that his teeth don't start coming loose or anything.  He does have a hard time taking a bite out of tougher foods.  I feel so bad for him though.  It makes me hurt to see him hurting. 

    One of my best friends has decided to throw me a "slumber party" of sorts for my birthday.  We will have it here and invite just a few good friends, it should be fun, just us girls watching movies, eating junk, and talking all night.  NO BOYS ALLOWED.  So James and Isaiah are going to have to leave the house for the night.  I don't know where they will go yet.  But it's not my problem.   The party won't be till the 19th though as my birthday is on the 16th.  So I still have a while to get myself in a girly mood. 

    I know that quite a few people from the church go to Costco to shop, but I don't   know how many of you go to their website.   If you do though (www.costco.com) you will notice that they have added a new item to their inventory, it even has it's own little section where the items are listed to the side.  What are they selling you ask?  I'll tell you.  Caskets.  Yes, folks that right, now when your friend or family member passes on, just remember that you can purchase a quality casket from Costco online and have it shipped directly to your home.  lol.

    Who is going to do that?  I mean really?       I can't even imagine that.  And they have like 5 to choose from
 
   .....the most expensive one is almost $5,000         and the cheapest is a little over $900. 

    But really, since this is Costco and all, shouldn't we be able to buy them in bulk or something?  I mean even a buy 1 get the second half off would be good.  lol.        Wow, really a dumb idea...what are they gonna sell next, urns?

    Anyway....I better go.  I got a few things to do around here still.

Bye.

  01.30.05                                               5:03pm

     I feel like my whole lower half is in pain.  I have been out and about so much that I am pretty sure that I will not be doing anything else at all for the rest of the night. I had planned on going to church this evening, but I think that I will be skipping that as well.  Part of my pain though has nothing to do with physical pain, but emotional instead.  Pain for Isaiah as he had a accident today that made me freak out for some reason or another.  We were at a birthday party after church, and they had one of those huge jumping things that blow up you know.  Anyway, I was out there watching Isaiah and as he is running some little girl decided to come up behind him and just run him down.  He landed face first on the cement and he had blood all in his mouth.  It was horrible.  And although the blood didn't freak me out, the thought of some teeth missing certainly did.  I rushed him into their house and gave him to James to handle because I was to hysterical to handle it.  Luckily, he is ok, and all the blood was just from his lip which he had taking two chunks out of.  He also has a good size bruise. 

    I am gonna be honest here though....it was very hard for me to not yell at that little girl.  I wanted to injure her right back for Isaiah.  I know it wasn't her fault, I realize that it was an accident, but still, she hurt my baby, and I wanted her to pay.  I guess that it comes from that motherly urge to protect your offspring.  I guess I will just have to get over these feelings, quick too, since it will probably happen a lot when he is in school.  I bet I will end up being one of those moms that goes up to the bullies in school and threatens them.  lol  I bet that would go over well.   

    Even though I should clean up right now, and make some dinner.....I am still to tired to do so.  I mean really my legs are hurting and I just don't want to get up.  I thought that sitting here typing might help, but no....it didn't.  (James just asked...."Are you making dinner?"  HAHAHAHAHAHA......boy I guess he is out of luck.)  Anyway, I am going to cut this short today I think, I just want to go lay down.   Lets hope tomorrow is a slow slow day. 

  01.29.05                                                      8:01pm

    What a long long day.  By the time I got back from the Ebay seminar at the church I was ready for a nap, but didn't take one.  I should have though because now I am incredibly tired and still have to clean up the kitchen from tonight's dinner.  I don't think that I will be trying to con James into helping either, since he is even more tired than me.  He was working until 2am last night, and then had to watch Isaiah all day while I was gone.  He looks wore out. 

    James and I were talking today about eliminating the office in our house to make room for the new baby.  As it stands, we have 3 large computer desks, 5 computers, plus scanner and printer.  It would take a lot to get rid of it all and decide what to keep and where to put it.  We would probably end up with just laptops and some accessories.  I know that it would be nice, as I don't want the kids to share a room anyway, but I do really enjoy having a office.  I guess it just goes back to my fear of change.  It would be such a big adjustment, and that kind of stuff worries me.  I like things to stay nice and simple.  Having another baby is change enough right?

    Last night at my in-laws house was fun.    They just happened to have rented Napolean Dynamite, and wanted to watch it.  Although there were a few spots where I laughed alittle more than before, I found it just as annoying as the first time.  I really just don't get it.  It has got to be one of the worst movies I have ever seen.  Of course I couldn't say it was "the" worst, because that spot is held  by Adam Sandler's very first movie ever called "Over Board".  And no I don't mean the Over Board with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel, I like that one.  No this one is starring Adam Sandler and it is quite possibly the worst thing ever written.  I mean we were barely able to watch the first 15 minutes.  WORST MOVIE EVER.  Really.  He (Adam) must also think so since on his website where it lists all the movies he has been in, that paticular one is simply not listed.  Can't say I blame him.

    One more thing before I am done.  You know the commercial where the cows are talking to each other and they are happy cows?  It's about California cheese?  Anyway, I had a dream last night where two cows were driving in a big truck, and all around them the fields were on fire.  Although I was not in the truck with them, I knew that these two cows had started the fire.  And as they drove by this certain section of pasture, they saw some other cows that they didn't like running from the flames, and then the cow driving laughed and said...."What  a fool!"

    Then the announcer came on from somewhere and said the slogan. "Great cheese comes from happy cows, happy cows come from California".   Now it would be nice to say that was the strangest dream I have had in a while, but no, I usually always have weird ones like that.   I bet it would be interesting though to find out what that one means huh? 

    Bye

 01.28.05                                   3:04PM

    Ok, so today James works from home. And that is great because I get the car all day. YES!! So I had to take Isaiah to the dentist for the first time today and I also had an appt. He did so good. He even let the doctor polish his teeth. I was proud. After that I went to my Great Grandma’s to visit her, but she wasn’t there, so I let myself in and watched my soap opera until the rain stopped. And it was really pouring.

    Anyway, I get home and it is after one o’clock. James, who like I said is working from home today, is indeed working, but he is still in bed. The sad thing is, this is normal. And if I go in to check on him, I will even see him start to slowly sink lower and lower in the bed until finally he has the laptop on his chest while he is typing. It’s pretty funny. Usually it isn’t until after 2pm that he finally gets up. This makes Coco happy though, as she gets to stay in bed also. Spoiled dog. (Speaking of, she is laying right next to me right now and must be having a nightmare since she is twitching like a mad dog.)

    Oh, my goodness….now I am getting annoyed. While typing this thing out I am also playing scrabble online, and these people are so impatient. God forbid that I take a couple minutes to think of a word since I have bad letters.

    People bug the heck out of me sometimes. I mean really. It’s a thinking game. If I knew every word in the dictionary by heart then yea, I might be faster, but otherwise, no…it might take me a minute.

    People make me so mad. This is why I prefer to be alone, then, I don’t have to worry about people getting on my nerves. Which I might also add happens all the time. I can’t even begin to tell you how often I have to hold my tongue in public, people, in general, do not know how to be polite anymore, or even know how to fake it.

    How many times have I seen someone get mad at a cashier for messing up their transaction, when getting mad about it isn’t going to do any good. It happened, get over it. Maybe it just comes from the fact that I have worked in so many different places that I have a certain respect for all employees. Some people though have no problem with yelling at a person who is just trying their best or maybe even they are new and simply got it wrong. Does getting angry really help the situation? I think not. I do however think that everyone should work in retail at least once in their life for a couple months. This way, we could all experience the hell that retail can be, and then maybe, just maybe, we can all be a little bit nicer to the people behind the counter.

    It’s the same with waiters. Why would you be rude to someone who is bringing you your food? Really, how dumb is that?

    Anyway, enough of that rant. I have to get ready to go because we are going to my mother-in-laws house very soon. I made her a cake because it was her birthday yesterday. I hope she likes it, I tried something different.

    Oh……also, James and I are trying to take a poll…I want to pierce our soon to be daughters ears twice in each ear when she is maybe 6 months old or so. James thinks this would look horrible and is a bad idea, he says he doesn’t want it done. I think that it would look funky and cute. And after all, if we end up hating it, you just take one out, and it closes up. So anyway, we are going to take a poll, and after so much time whoever has the most people on their side will win.

    So, do you think I should be allowed to do it? Or do you agree with James?

    Send in those emails people, the fate of our daughters ear lobes lies in your hands. Well, and our families and friends hands too.

 01.27.05                                                   12:32pm

    Last night we found a stray dog at our front door. We brought her into our garage and fed her. She was really sweet and playful.
Luckily, her owner came to claim her about an hour ago. They were really happy to have her back. Evidently, her real name was Alligator.  Alligator? What is that about? I bet one of her kids picked that one. James thought that she looked more like a Sadie.

8:11pm

    Okay, so James is on his way home. Hopefully he will make it back in time to say goodnight to Isaiah. Tomorrow will be nice though because he is working from home and that means that I get to have the car. I will probably go get some food, and go to the bank. Oh, my life is so exciting. It is almost too much to bear.

    I have been forgetting to give my dog, Dusty, her medicine. She has incredibly bad gas, and I don’t mean occasional bad gas, I mean it was like every 10 minutes and it would make you want to puke. We got her some human medicine that the vet recommended, and it did help, but then I forgot to keep giving it to her, and now she stinks again. I had to kick her out of our room last night. It is soooooo bad. She is lucky that she is such a good dog.

    Coco on the other hand, although gas free, has her own little quirks.

    (Isaiah just dumped a whole bucket of water out of his bath onto the floor, lovely.)

    Coco, has to sleep on our bed, but that isn’t the worst part. She also has to be under at least one blanket.  She will stand up by your head, waiting, for you to lift up the blanket and let her in. If you decide to ignore her, which can be fun, she will start breathing in your face, nudging you, and eventually, using her nose to shove her way in. She is so spoiled. James, then, finds it’s hilarious once she is laying down comfortable, to use his legs to move her all over the place. It then becomes a battle of wills to see who will give in first……will she get down, and start the process all over again, or will he give up? I think it’s kinda tied right now.

Honestly, I think that if we were being robbed at gun point, that Dusty would protect us, I think Coco would take one look at that gun and flee. She is such a wuss.
I think she would really just be all about saving herself. Some watch dog.

    Isaiah is still in the bath, (yes I am checking on him) and before he got in the bath I was filling the water up, and he was in there with me wearing his training under pants. You can pee in them once. I have been asking him all night, “Do you need to pee?” But, while we are standing there next to the toilet, all of two minutes since I last asked him, he looks down at himself and watches his under pants get wet. If it wasn’t for the fact that a bunch of other boys his age having this same lack of progress I would probably be a little depressed about this. But, whatever, when he is ready, he will be ready…….right? Lol
I hope so.

    Anyone got any potty training ideas? If so they would be very welcome. I would like to have this kid showing some progress by time the new baby comes.

    The Apprentice should be on in 25 minutes, so I gotta get Isaiah out of there and dressed I guess. I love that show by the way. It is always great to watch a bunch of people try to out do each other, and you get to sit there at home pretending that if it was you, you would have done much better. When really, I would have probably been the first one kicked out, since I hate working in a group. Maybe that’s a only child thing.

Love Eva

01.26.05                                                 4:49pm

    A long time ago my mother-in-law gave me a large trunk full of pictures.  Literally full.  I had told her that I would organize them for her and put all the pictures into albums.  Well, as you can imagine it is a very big job...but yesterday, I finished another album and it looks really good. 

      I like doing this kind of stuff...
        organizing just about anything
                    is fun for me. 

  I like to clean and organize messes.     

   Even other people's messes.  I don't know why that would be fun to me, but it is. I would probably do well as a cleaning lady. So, I am gonna give her that album as part of her birthday present. I think that she will like it.

   Right now, there is a group of people huddled across the street from my house with clip boards.  I just know that one of them is going to come knock on my door anytime now...trying to sell me something. 
And God forbid that they take no for an answer. 

    It's just like telemarketers.  Do you know that one time someone called here asking if we would like to donate some money towards helping needy kids in Stockton? When James said, "No thank you,"  the guy said, "Oh, so you don't like helping kids?"  Trying to guilt us into giving. Talking like that only gets you hung up on.   

   I think that I am going to start reading the Harry Potter books again. The new one comes out in July, and I want to get myself refreshed.  I have already read them all at least 5 times, but I think that there is always stuff that you forget. Of course that is not the only book series that I like to read over and over again. 

    I also highly enjoy a 5 book series called
        The Banned and the Banished
               by James Clemens. 

    He is a veterinarian in Sacramento.          I have read those 3-4 times through also.  They are quite possibly the best books ever.  The way that he wrote the characters makes you feel like you are right in the story; well, it is wonderful.  I love it. 
I recommend that book to anyone who loves fantasy fiction stories.  Excellent. 

Anyway, that's all for now.   Bye.

01.25.05                                               9:07pm


   Why do the best shows always have to be on at the same time?  It drives me nuts.  I want to watch both American Idol and The Amazing Race so I end up having to switch between them both during commercials.  Horrible!
 
   But besides that atrocity, my day was good. I am starting to have more pregnancy pains though around my hips when I sit or stand for too long.  I might just have to stop going to church all together.  lol     j/k   So far the pain is bearable and I think that some Tylenol will help.
 
   James won't be home tonight until a little bit after 10pm.  He asked me to have some food ready for him.  I think that I might surprise him and actually cook him some ham.  That would make his day. 
 
   I still have to clean the kitchen anyway  (which I might add is the big plus to having a man that comes home late....). I can be lazy all day long and keep the house looking ok, and do all the real cleaning at night before he gets home.  Not that he would care anyway, but I do like him to come home to a clean house. I mean...who really truly wants to come home and see a pile of dishes?  Not me.
 
  Let me tell you the down side to staying home all day though....especially when you are a one car family.  No adult contact.  Pretty much, my only companion is a 2 1/2 year old little boy.  Which is great, don't get me wrong.  That's why I stay home (that and I hate working with an unbelievable passion)!

   Sometimes you just need to speak to an adult.  Someone you can actually understand.  AAhhh, to have a second car and be able to leave the house at will.

Someday....maybe.

  1.24.05                                                11:27PM

 
   James and I just finished watching      "The Passion of the Christ" for the first time.   I don't really know what I expected, and I am not really sure what I think right now either.

   I know that Mel Gibson did an excellent job of showing how much Jesus suffered for us.  And during those parts I did indeed pray to God.  I thanked God countless times for his sacrifice, and I also said sorry, for the fact that he died so we could be in heaven.  We are so unworthy.

   James said this was the first time he has seen Jesus' sacrifice shown this way.  It was the second time for me.  When I was young, about 10 years old maybe.  I watched a music performance of it put on by the Christian singer Carmen.  Although it was obviously not as graphic (1980's and all) it still had the same affect on me.  I cried just like I did tonight. Except that this time, I noticed I cried most when Jesus' mother
Mary was in scenes, remembering when he was a child, or going up to kiss his feet. 

   I think that since I am a mother, imagining the pain that Jesus was experiencing, plus the pain of watching your son tortured, was too much.  I imagined how it would feel to see my own son hurting in that manner, and the tears flowed out of me.  I am still constantly amazed by how powerful the love I have in me for him is.  And so I can not even begin to imagine the pain Our Lord and God must have felt, watching from heaven as his only son was crucified. 

   At any given time....any moment, I would gladly give my life to save Isaiah.  I would suffer any torture.  But to allow your child to go through such pain....and to do it to save a bunch of sinners like us.  That is true love.  God is true love...the love I can feel must be the size of a pea, compared to God's love.


   And so, I think that now I will go into my son's bedroom, and hold him, kiss him as much as I can before he wakes up completely.  I will tell him that I love him with all my heart, all my soul, forever.  And hopefully, I will be able to do all that, without breaking into tears yet again.
01.24.05                                                  5:17pm
 
   I just got back from the doctor a little while ago.  Everything is going fine with the pregnancy.  I am gaining weight at a wonderful pace...which is much better than the ridiculous amount I gained with Isaiah.

  The heart beat is strong, and I will have one more doctor visit with my doctor in another 5 weeks and then I will be transferred to the Kaiser in Sacramento.  I believe it is right off the freeway after Elk Grove.   We decided to have the baby their because I didn't want to deliver at Dameron Hospital in Stockton.  I heard some bad things about it. So anyway, I am really happy that everything is going at a great pace. 
 
   After I have the baby my Dad plans on putting me on a work-out schedule (that I will do at their house to help me lose the weight easier this time too).  That should definitely help, since I have a problem in that area. 

Of course it is of my own doing...
      as I am usually a very lazy person
             and do not enjoy working out. 

Plus, I don't like vegetables...at all really. 
      So that doesn't help any. 

  Plus, I am also not that fond of water.  Although I have been drinking it lately for the baby.  All in all I suppose it is amazing that I am even alive. After all, it doesn't sound like I am very healthy does it?  Even at school I was never into sports.  I would fake asthma attacks all the time to get out of running the mile in 8th grade P.E..  Yep....pretty lame.
 
   I have to make sure that I instill some better habits in my son and daughter. 
 


 01.23.05                                                  7:26pm

 
   I don't have a single clue what to write about tonight.  I mean I really didn't do much.  Went to church, picked up Isaiah from my mom's, came home.  Really...that isn't very exciting. 

   The most exciting thing actually was this morning....while I was lying in bed waiting for my turn in the shower the baby started kicking me hard enough to feel on my hand.  So I got to just lay there with my hands on my tummy feeling her kick me.  It was wonderful.  Even James made it in time to feel one. 
 
   I think that it will be exciting when it happens often enough for Isaiah to feel it too.  It will freak him out. 
 
   Ok, here is what I am going to do.  I am gonna put in some little facts about me, that way you know a little more about me, and I have something to write about tonight.
 
   1)  I hate change. 
            I like things to stay the same. 

   2)  My favorite color is black. 
            And I can't stand the color pink.
 
   3)  I'm really really scared of ants. 
            I know, they are tiny, but still...

   4)  I like to think that I am
            the only one who can clean
            my house good. 
              Which works out good for James. 

   5)  It bugs me when my soap opera
            gets interrupted by the news
            because they think that I need to
            know about some tragic event that
            just took place.  As if I can't hear
            about it later when the news is
            actually on.  

   6)  I find it strange that instead of just
            putting a random amount of water
            in a pan to cook Macaroni and
            Cheese, James actually puts in
            the measured amount the
            instructions say on the box.  
                                     As if it matters.

   7)  I love it when I get to watch Isaiah
             and James take a nap together.

   8)  and last............I love all the stupid
             jokes that James tells,
               especially when I am
                  the only one who gets them.
 
Ok, that's good , now you all know some of the stranger things that bug me.  :-)
 
Bye.

  01.22.05                                 11:03pm

 
   Well, it was a long day.  I just got home all of 30 minutes ago from the youth rally in Stockton.   It was OK, but it could have been better.  I think the one at our church next month will be alot better.  By the time I was on my way home I was starving, and luckily when I called James to tell him I was coming home, he was starving too.  So I got us some food. 
 
   Here is the funny thing though. I was hungry because I was gone, and didn't get a chance to eat.  James on the other hand was home alone, kept telling himself that he was hungry, yet never once got up to make a sandwich, have a bowl of cereal, nothing.  I mean that is probably one of the laziest things ever. I am starting to think that if I wasn't around most of the time he probably wouldn't eat at all. 

   It's the same with his lunches.  On the days that he goes to work in San Mateo he has a big lunch cooler that he can bring food in.  If I get up and make him a lunch, he will eat it at work, and then get home at around 8:30pm and have a late dinner.  But, if I decide to stay in bed because Isaiah is still asleep.....he won't pack a lunch.  He could, he knows how, but he won't.  So he will have a bowl of cereal for breakfast and then go the entire day without eating anything else until he gets home again.  Ridiculous.   I would say this is just a guy thing, but I am starting to think that it is just him.
 
   Isaiah is gone tonight.  He is staying the night at my mom and dads house.  He was so happy to go there.  He loves them.  He doesn't even care when I leave either.  Luckily I realize that it just means he is a very secure little boy, other wise I might be a little worried that he just didn't care.  :-)
 
    It is always strange when he is gone though.    I will have all these moments when I think that I hear him calling me.  Or I think that he is crying.  My mom told me that she would have the same thing happen to her when I was little and was gone over night.  At least it's not just me. 
 
   Well, I suppose that I should go now. 
Not that I have anything else to do, James is playing video games, still (He has been since I left at 4:00pm).  I suppose that I will end up being a typical nerd tonight and play scrabble online (and odds are, I will lose too). 
 
Bye.

01.21.05                                                 2:49pm

 
   At around 10:30 am this morning I headed into Galt with Isaiah and we visited
his Great Great Grandma.  I love her so much.  I was always around her growing up, and I loved her then too, but now, I love and appreciate her. 

   I am so very thankful for all the time I had with her as a child, and I am so glad that Isaiah gets to have it too.  She is still very active (goes bowling every Tuesday) and so he gets to do stuff with her.  I try to make it a point to visit her at least once a week  (usually after church). 

   I know that the reality is we won't have forever together. I really want Isaiah to get as much time as he can with her.  When I was pregnant with Isaiah, probably 7 months or so... her husband died (my Great Grandpa).  I was also very close to him. 

   I am so thankful that before he passed, he gave me his Bible.  It was a period in time when I was really getting close with God, and even though he couldn't talk well at all, due to his last stroke, I knew he was telling me to take it.  Now it is the Bible I always use, and I had both our names inscribed on it. 

   Someday, I hope one of my grand kids will put there name on it as well.  It's funny how you start thinking about these things out of nowhere.  I always think of my grandpa, every time I open my Bible, but lately, now that I am pregnant again, I have the thought that it's possible someone might not make it to see our daughter born.  

   When my Great Grandpa was in the hospital, I knew that I should have been praying to God in thanks for all the time I had, but I couldn't help but ask God for more time, I just wanted him to see his first great great grandson (ugh...I'm making myself cry now, see what happens).  How silly that during this time of joy, I would have such a worry (that my Great Grandma might not be here).  I really hope she is........ugh, I am being silly, sitting here, crying, talking about all this what if stuff.  Why do I do this to myself? 

   I didn't plan on sitting down to type all this.  I really didn't. This all goes back to my fear of dying.  I don't want her to miss this event, I'm "afraid" for her.  Just like I am afraid for myself.  Even though I want to go to Heaven, even though I know that it would be wonderful beyond words, I don't want to die. 

   I actually pray, quite often, for God to please allow me this one selfish prayer and let me live to see my son be a man, a father, a grandfather, and more.  I need to see these things.  I don't want to miss them.  The thought of going before I think it is time, scares me.  If I had my way, I would be in my high 90's and I would die in my sleep. 

   Oh my gosh, where am I going with all of this.  Now I don't even know how to end this thing.  Backed my self into a corner.  Ok, so....may God's Will be done in my life, and those around me, and may He give me the strength to handle it all. 
 

Thursday, 01.20.05                                     12:46 pm

 
   It's a GIRL!!!!!!!!   YES!!!   Oh my gosh, I am so happy!  I didn't really think that I would react this way but I did.   As soon as the lady said it, I just started to cry my eyes out.  Isaiah thought something was wrong with me, he was worried. 

   I think that this is going to be so wonderful.  I have wanted to see James with a little girl of his own for so long.  He is such a great dad.  I know that with a little girl he will spoil her so much.  This baby is going to bring so many new experiences.  It will be so different. 
 
   The worst part of the whole experience today was that they make you drink a ton of water before the ultra sound, and you aren't allowed to use the bathroom.  I had to go so bad I thought for sure I was going to burst.  It was almost painful.  Anyway, I think that I will end with that. 

   After all, this is the highlight of the day, so I know that I won't have anything else to write about later.  Cya later all. 


01.19.05                                                    6:18pm

 
Tomorrow is the big day.  Well, kinda big, as we find out what the sex of the baby is.   My appointment is at 10:30am at the Kaiser in Stockton.  My parents will both be there and also James' mom (and James and Isaiah too).  Should be a full house. 

   Every time I think I know what it will be, a little bit of doubt enters my mind.  Sometimes I can't help but think it must be a girl since this pregnancy is so different than my first.  I was miserable with Isaiah inside me, but this one--I feel great.  Another great thing will be that after that appointment is over I will get to register for baby shower stuff at Target.  I will be having two baby showers.  One given by my mom, and another by the church.  I think I will probably end up with everything I need and more. 
 
   Did anyone catch American Idol last night?  Ugh I love that show.  Some of these people really really think that they can sing well.  But they are just awful.  I mean really bad.  Sometimes, it is even sad because it is so obvious how badly these people want it.  One guy, a youth pastor from I forget where, made it through.  He will be going to Hollywood for the next round.  I thought that he was pretty good, but maybe not good enough to make it all the way.  I can't wait to see though.  One girl, said that God wants her to sing, but the judges did not agree.  :-(

   It's on again tonight and I think the night after too.  If you want a good laugh, that's the right show. 
 
(Oh my gosh my child is nuts.....he is running around like a madman with lunch meat from his sandwich hanging out of his mouth.  lol   Nuts!! This could be his way of teasing the dogs, as they are following his every move.)
 
Anyway....that's pretty much it....I mean how much more can I say, I napped, I'm doing laundry, I ran out of dish soap so I can't do dishes.  James is on his way home, I think.  Nope, I take that back, he is still online--which means he is still working.  I think that I will let him fend for himself for dinner tonight.  Since he won't even be home until 8pm or later.  What a shame, he will miss out on that lovely bowl of cereal I had planned.   Bye for now.
 
P.S.  I started another email account so if anyone would like to email me please feel free to send it to this address: email: CLICK HERE

01.18.05                                          6:39pm

 
   I saw a commercial today that really bugged me.  It was two cops in a police car.  Talking about all the young people today who are getting into serious trouble with the law.  They started saying how if only there was a program out there for kids that could help prevent this. Something that could lead them in the right direction. 

  Then they said, "There is, it's preschool."  That got me. I mean what a bunch of c---.  Basically they just told everyone that if your kid doesn't go to preschool there are some good odds that your child might end up breaking the law.  I don't know about the rest of the world but I certainly don't consider my child attending preschool to be the most important thing on earth. 

   How about being there for your child, talking to them openly?  Showing some love?  These are just a few of the things that I find to be helpful in the development of a child. I'll tell you one thing, at this rate, James and I will not be able to afford to send Isaiah to preschool.  It costs anywhere between $60 - $90 bucks a week.  We simply can't afford that.  Athough I can't tell the future, I have high hopes that my son will not grow up to be some delinquent in juvenile hall. Stupid commercial.
 
On to other things.  More important things: 
 
   I noticed that there is a link now on this webpage to view a few of my poems.  I would like to say to any one who reads them to please keep in mind that they are not about me.  Not a one.

   I don't know why I can only seem to write depressing or sad poems.  Even when I was very young, like 14 or so, that's what they were.  And I remember some people in my family got concerned and so I had to explain that they were fiction.
 
  It's not that I don't have any pleasant poems...I do, they are just few and far between. 
 
   I've been stuck at home all day today.  For anyone who doesn't know, we live in Lodi.  Since James and I only have the one car, Isaiah and I are stuck here.  Except for the days that James works from home.  Monday and Friday.  I get the car then (on those days Isaiah and I go out and visit friends and family).  He especially likes going to his great-great grandma's house.  She always has goodies for him, and he gets to run all over the place since she has fields around her house.  
 
Speaking of Isaiah.......

   I remember when I was younger....like high school or something, I always knew that I wanted to be a mom.  And I knew that it would be great.  But actually having your child.  Actually seeing them everyday....wow.  There is no greater thing.  Sometimes, I look at him, and I cry.  The love that I have for him overwhelms me, and just flows out.  How wonderful that God wanted me to be his mother.  How lucky I am.  And now, knowing all this....I can finally understand how my own parents must feel about me.  I always knew they loved me....but now I know that I never even had a clue as to how much.  I wonder if it was just me, or if all young people are lacking in this understanding. 

Maybe it takes becoming a parent,
           to make you finally understand
                      how your own felt.
                                             email eva: CLICK HERE
01.17.05                                                          8:47pm
 
   What a long day.  I went shopping at Target for some things.  But when I got in line I remembered that my atm/visa card has not been activated yet because I got a new one.  And of course, the bank was closed today anyway.  So I had to charge thirty dollars  of stupid stuff.  Then, I did it again at the grocery store and had to drive home, get James' atm card, drive back and pay for my food.  Ugh.  I hate that.  Sometimes I need to pray for patience for myself.  
 
   Speaking of praying.......do you ever notice that sometimes, and maybe this is just me, that it is really easy to pray while in the bathroom?  I have noticed that.  Maybe it's because in general, you aren't bothered in there, say for a shower or something.  But I find that I talk to God alot in there.  While putting makeup on.  Brushing my teeth, showering.  Whatever.
It just seems like you are usually alone with your thoughts and it's just a good opportunity.
Just an observation.
 
   We had James' brother over tonight and his family for dinner.  Had alot of fun and my sister in-law and I checked out some interesting websites.  I even showed her our church website. 

   While they were here I noticed once again that my son is a total loner.  Even though his cousin was here, only 10 months younger than him.  Isaiah had no desire at all to play with him.  It's not that the kid is shy, or doesn't know how to interact with others.  Because he does  when he wants to.  It's just that I am noticing that alot of the time he doesn't want to.  And when another kid does try to come over and join him in some fun activity, Isaiah looks at him as if to say, "Hey, why are you ruining this for me?" 

   I think this is partly due to the fact that he has such a big imagination and just has so much fun playing alone.  I think he gets it from both his parents.  I don't like working with groups, I prefer to hang out alone if I can.....and James, well according to his mom he was a loner when he was little too. 

  I wonder what he will think when the new
  baby comes and he has to share a room? 

                                           email eva: CLICK HERE

01.16.05                                                                     9:15pm

 
   I feel really fat right now.  Not just because I'm pregnant mind you, but I had two helpings of spaghetti at our friends' house for that birthday part (which I might add, I was right about).  It consisted of the kids having a great time, and us pretty much just sitting around.  Blah!  At least I got a free dinner out of it.  So that's nice.  And I did have fun talking to our friend after everyone left.  That's always good. 

 

   On the home page of the website there is a letter from Pastor Rob about me and this journal.....made me laugh so hard.  He's right, I don't like the word blog.  Doesn't it sound nicer to say journal?  I think so.  But to each his own. 
 
   In four more days we will find out what the sex of the baby is.  I am so excited.  I have a feeling it will be a boy.  James thinks it will be a girl. 

   I almost hope that it is a girl, just because of the fact that he wants to name the kid 'King' if it is a boy.  King.  Can you imagine?  And of course the middle name would be James. 

   So it's King James Moore.  Wow.
 
   Does he want our kid to get beat up?  Or even worse, the kid grows up with a superiority complex and thinks that he is better than everyone else.  I can picture it now.  "Don't tell me what to do, I'm the King!"  It just won't be good. But anyway....enough of that.  I just wanted to vent. 

 

   I watched Napoleon Dynamite a couple days ago.  Friday to be exact.  I really wasn't all that impressed.  Maybe, just maybe, I will like it more a second time  (that's what Jennifer Mogan said, at least). I don't know.  It just felt so pointless.  I even had some brief moments during the movie when I thought to myself, "Yep, I would have made fun of that kid too."  Sounds bad to say that, but back then I was a different person, and I would have.  I wouldn't do that now though...... Not to their face at least.  J/K  :-)

 

   Ok, well I guess I should go now, do something fun.  I should spend time with my husband too.  lol  I'm kidding.  I love that big nerd.  He even got me my spaghetti tonight and a drink without my asking him.  Isn't that sweet?

01.15.05                                                        9:45am

   I'm going shopping in a little while for a birthday party on Sunday afternoon. The little girl whose birthday it is will be turning 1 year old. Should be fun enough I guess....considering it's a kid party. 

   I don't know about you guys, but to me kid parties are never really fun unless it's a party for your own kid.  All you end up doing is watching a bunch of kids you don't know play while also watching your own kid.  I can do that at home. 

   This afternoon on the other hand, we will be going to my in-laws for awhile, and staying for dinner.  I know I will have a good time there, we can play cards and chat. (Oh my god it is cold in here, I'm shivering while I type)

   Honestly, I should really start cleaning up the kitchen. But, I think I can get myself out of it if I try. You see, James despises sweeping and mopping. I mean he really really hates it. So, usually, all I have to do is say:

 

"Honey, will you sweep and mop the floor while I
     clean the kitchen please?" To which he will almost
     always reply, "NO, but I'll clean the kitchen while you
     sweep and mop."

   See how easy that is? All of a sudden he has offered to take on the harder job and I get off with 10 minutes of work. You gotta love that.

What a sucker. :-)

10:03pm

   So we're back and we had a good time. The kitchen is now clean....James did it. :-)  Isaiah is completely crashed out from no nap and too much playing. And I am going to finish this, send it off, and then do what I do best.....nothing!  I love doing nothing....it's my favorite thing.

Actually my favorite thing is sleeping, hhhhmmm, but when you sleep you're doing nothing, so maybe they are the same thing. Whatever, it's all the same.

Bye