iona's blog 10/23 - 10/29/2005

Note the Archives are presented chronologically.
Scroll right for iona's E-Mail & Links

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Stretchings
If you invite, Him the Lord will stretch you beyond your normal boundaries. It may be as simple as filling your day to overflowing (as He has for me today) or He may expand your horizons as He did with three wonderful men in our church who followed His lead to partake in ministering up close and personal to hurricane evacuees.

Pastor Rob's sermon this morning was something God knew I needed to hear and invite Him to act on in my life... well, most often that is true. Hearing from a Spirit led Pastor, teacher or anyone is a lot like praying, fellowshipping, listening to Gospel music OR reading the Scriptures... Wait... hear me out! They are much the same because God will speak to you through any of them, as well as your circumstances, if you INVITE Him to and LISTEN!... Oops, stealing part of the sermon here. LOL

Next, I am blessed to hear (Tom Lane) Deacon Speakin' in Sunday School. Always prepared, always led by the Spirit, always inspiring. Deacon Jim Fugate, who reflects so perfectly the pure love of Jesus, warms our souls and leads us in musical worship and prayer. No longer am I in the room... I close my eyes and am standing at the open and empty tomb, or transported to bow at the feet of my Lord in glory. I sing off key and too loud, but Jesus loves to hear it... the others seem to tolerate it without comment.

Then we start. I glance around the room at people I have grown to love far more than I am able to let them know without getting syrupy. Eva sits across from me next to her most cool hubby, James, a hip young man far more mature than he, himself realizes. I am saddened they will soon move, but thrilled they are willing to go wherever God leads. My sweet friend Liz is at one end of the room. I sit in the middle with my honey, Richard who would rather sit in the back but humors me (in almost everything, I am very loved). At each of the tables there are people I love. I hope God leaves me here a good long while.

Now, for the speaker... Richard?? OK. Neither of us was expecting this, but I was pleased. My husband is an award-winning administrator, a fiscal whiz who saved several school districts' bacon and turned them around. He loves to work quietly behind the scenes. He's a guy you can call on and count on... not a fellow who likes to speak publicly, especially about himself. He got a little "stretched." I liked it. He was glad when it was over.

The lesson in Roman's 12, had a personal call to me as well. Again, I was spiritually stretched. The day was a busy one and I was barely ready to go to evening church where we heard from our three faithful relief worker missionaries, Pastor R.B., Pastor Cliff and Pete. These men have been stretched and grew in the process, inspiring us all in that issue of growing beyond ourselves .It was a great evening!

I have done nothing in my house today, I cooked one easy meal... the rest of the day and night, I was working on Painting the Passion. More of that after an hour or so of slumber.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Passions
I have many passions.. since childhood, I have "gone overboard" for things I felt important. Thankfully, most of my passions have been positive. The Lord has long had me in His protective gaze. Of course, He is the number one passion of my life. I love Him radically, and if someone thinks I make a fool of myself, I really do not care... as long as I never do anything to dishonor Him. My whole life revolves around my Lord and I consciously seek to make Him the core of every thought or activity... I am totally unable to do this, of course, without His moment by moment enablement. If you don't know Him or find your relationship with Him lukewarm, e-mail me.

As a teen I wanted to be a great musician, singer, composer. I have NO real talent in music except a discerning ear. I played the trombone, then baritone, then all the brass, then went into woodwinds... clarinet, tenor sax. Whew! I practiced constantly! My family sent me out of the house, they needed some relief. That much practice will lead to some polish, even for one with zero talent. So I played professionally for a time, both as a teen and as an adult.

I also sang... long and loud. No amount of practice will ever make my voice pleasing to any ear but God's alone. He loves me so much, He turns my singing into a thing of beauty... sadly, no one but He can hear it that way.

Another of my youthful passions was swimming. I planned to swim the English Channel and trained with a vengeance. We lived in Rodeo, CA, my last two years of High School (I graduated from John Swett H.S. in Crockett, CA) so I swam in the bay. I snuck out of my window at night... not to meet boys, but to smear my body with thick grease, slip into the chilly bay waters swim for miles... alone. What an idiot! I would freak out if one of my children had been that nuts. I had a coach, who worked with me in the daytime. My longest day swim was 17 miles, but some of my night swims were longer.

I never swam the English channel... no sponsor. Bummer. I was ready! My parents were glad. They thought I was a genius musician and would be the next Einstein. I got married instead... college came later, seven children and continued through the rest of them.

But back to passions. I learned a passion for people from my dad. He loved everyone... some more deeply than others. I never heard him voice dislike for ANY person. I can't say that about many people... no one can. I can't even say it about me... but God and I are working on it. I love people. I love to watch them. I'll talk to almost anyone. I enjoy smiling at people and watching their reaction. Here are some interesting facts about Smiles:
1. Over 92% of the Americans gain first impressions based on one's smile
2. Smiling releases endorphins and makes us feel better
3. Even faking a smile can lead to feeling happier
4. A newborn shows a preference for a smiling face over a non-smiling face
5. A smiling person is judged to be more pleasant, attractive, sincere, sociable,
and competent than a non-smiling person

As my regular blog readers know, I am developing a passion for cooking. I have gotten some very good cookbooks, I watch Food Network when I watch TV... I don't see much TV. And I am trying all sorts of recipes... I LOVE it... even when I fail. If something doesn't work out, I have learned a new lesson and made the dogs very happy.

As a child, I used to draw and sketch, but since I was "training" to be a great musician, I neglected the artistic gifts the Lord placed in me... until years later when I was teaching at a rural eastern Colorado school. The kids wanted Art and the school needed to offer a foreign language. My husband was the Supt. of Schools and they really didn't have the budget for another person... so I became the new Art and French teacher along with my duties in Physics, Biology, Health, etc.

Over the summer, I prepared myself as best I could, but felt definitely unqualified. We have a daughter with a degree in art and the talent to go with it... Her work blows folks away! She encouraged me, but I suspect she had secret concerns for my ability to teach something I had not practiced. Laboriously, I began to work my way through the art lessons I was to teach. The history part was easy to learn, but I needed skill and technique.

I practiced art as I had done my swimming... doggedly... not out of love or passion, but because it needed doing to meet a goal. But as I worked, there was a stirring up of the long dormant talent the Lord had given me (and I rejected because I wanted music instead). After two years of teaching and working to improve my skills, I gradually realized I had become passionate about it. I loved doing it! But art is an expensive hobby, and I had no thought anyone would every pay for my work.

Part of my teaching load included computer consulting for school districts and working as the school's computer teacher and webmaster. I was learning to code and learning to create digital art for web sites... Soon, I gave up working on papers and canvas and was working exclusively on digital art. As I had done to train myself on hard media (as opposed to digital) I tried to learn from my favorite artists by copying their art creating a digital version of their techniques. I painted parts of Kinkade's works, some of Bob Ross, and especially the old masters. It was a challenge to reproduce the look digitally.

Digital painting is like painting with light! I loved it, but felt I had lost my touch after the accident. I am very distractible now. The first few pieces I did looked dead to me... some folks say they are OK, but I know they aren't the same. I have prayed for the light to return... I always pray the whole time I paint, or do anything else, I guess. One day when I was struggling with a "dead" looking picture of Jesus (my favorite subject), and asking Him to bring back the passion and light in my art...

I am now painting The Passion of The Christ... No, I am not doing it! He is doing it through my hands. His light is flowing through my mouse... Thrilling!!! Horrible!!! I have always painted pretty sedate pictures of Jesus. These are disturbing in that, like the film, they reach into the pit of hell to show what evil did to our Savior... He is the Victor who set us free, but could not have been so without volunteering to go through this horror.

Above is the painting I finished last night entitled: Sin For Us Thanks to the ease of changing things digitally, I was easily able to covert it into a new variation. Sin For Us Blue NOTE, I signed the work on Jesus' shoulder because he bears me up on his shoulders... a bit of OT symbolism I cherish.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

A Short Note
Some of you are probably still reading yesterday's blog... Looong winded, wasn't it? And pretty heavy at the end. Got some comments about the title for the picture... so just to clarify: As Jesus hung on the cross, He bore all our sin for us... every vile and evil thing man would ever do. The picture is of the agony such depravity brought Him as He was then separated for the first time from the Father and cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Hence the name... and yes, it is "disturbing."

I had a wonderful surprise visit this afternoon from one of the therapists who worked with me. Holly Anne is quite dear to me, and I was thrilled to see her... A gentle, quiet spirit, that lady... and she taught me about "healing colors." Lavener, aqua, varied hues to compliment them... She's a walking, talking Love Note, and I learn something every time she opens her mouth.

There isn't much else for today's blog. I was able to set up a private church e-mail list at Yahoo. If you are a member or patron of FBC and have not received an invitation to join the list, please let me know.

A group from FBC is going to Apple Hill tomorrow. I don't know what or where it is, but I am going, too. I like hanging out with my church family.

I'm tired, but must share another sweet surprise that just happened a minute ago. As I was putting some cash in my wallet for tomorrow's excursion, I found a baggie of over-stuffed Oreo cookies... about 6 of them. I don't recall where they came from, I never buy them, but they sure taste good as a bedtime snack from who knows where. A mystery Love Note!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Life is Full
I put up the rest of the old comments I had received and some interesting new comments on my blog and on my art. Check them out.

Sorry, no blog yesterday. I went to Apple Hill with a group of folks from church. Apple Hill is a touristy orchard area above Placerville, CA... kind of quaint. It was chilly all day and rained lightly at times. I was cold much of the time but enjoyed the fellowship.

As soon as I got home, I ran to do my weekly shopping which I had not done last week end. Our cupboards were looking more and more like Mother Hubbard's... bare. Richard and I arrived home about the same time and rushed the groceries into the house, only putting away the cold foods before hurrying off to Wednesday night Bible study. We have missed so many times. Richard usually doesn't get off work until after the meeting starts.

Thursday mornings always bless me and recharge my spiritual batteries as I meet with the Women of Grace. It's hard to conceive of a brain injured person facilitating a small group because that "job" requires one to keep track of what's going on, who said what, etc. and keep the group focused on the lesson. But God delights in using the weak, and He enables those He calls. Although I had led many small groups in the past, I was not expecting He would call me again because of my memory and attention deficits. I am so very glad He did!

Another bright spot for me today was an appointment with my neuro-psychologist, Dr. McCormick. He is a gentle and wise man about whom I've written before. He gave me some great advice just before I began working with Women of Grace. I was nervous; he said, "Just go and be." A sage mantra with so many applications. "...If God be for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31 What is there to fear from man or circumstance? So, just go and be.

We are facing some sticky issues with Social Security and workmen's comp. FBC is getting e-mails offering millions of dollars; I am getting snail mail from Social Security saying I owe thousands of dollars. Hmmm, I wonder if we can somehow connect the SSA folks with the scammers for a net zero.

Meanwhile Workmen's Comp wants me to sign release papers I don't understand. The letter tells me to call if I have questions, but when I call, I can only leave a message. After 17 leaving messages so far this week, I have yet to hear from them. Now for the dicey part, I have lost the forms they sent! ...which of course have a deadline.

If I were not good friends with the King of the Universe, I would be getting really worried right about now. But mostly, I'm just tired, so will sign off and get some sleep.

Friday, October 28, 2005 (Written Saturday AM)

Taking Stock
I visited a public school today. I liked what I saw and was impressed with the educators serving there at Fairsite Elementary. The school library has ordered new high interest materials to inspire young readers and increase vocabulary and comprehension levels, but the high point of my visit was participating in a team approach to education. This is an ideal situation wherein administration, teachers, parents and the child sit down to assess the student's strengths and needs, then brainstorm to set realistic goals and ways to achieve them. A team effort in taking stock, setting goals and working out best strategy practices is not a new, but today I saw an exceptionally good example of it. It was nice to be part of the process. I am thankful to a special friend for inviting me.

Today was "bill paying" day for me. Like so many other retired folk, much of our income comes in the form of retirement checks received around the first of each month, so at the end of the month, I get the checks written and ready. I also review our spending over the past month. I use Quicken to keep track of our finances and I am compulsive about it. I keep every receipt in a special folder until it is entered. Richard, who thinks that much detail is a waste of time and effort (similar to his relaxed attitude about folding underwear), humors me by turning in most of his receipts. He isn't too concerned about money he spends for hamburgers, coffee or newspapers.

Whether or not every penny is accounted for, the monthly practice of taking stock, setting goals and planning how to meet them is important to our financial health. Now, we aren't talking high finance here. We're talking about looking over our expenditures to note any problem areas, gathering our bills, making sure there is enough to pay them all and deciding how to handle any shortage or excess.

If taking stock is important to education and finances, it is many times more so to our spiritual health. I have long made it a habit each night to ask the Lord to review my day with me, to show me areas I failed in, ways I fell short, where I went astray in what I did, said or thought. I want Him to show me so I can repent and so I can ask Him to lead me out of that.... because I know I am weak and will not be able to live a life pleasing to Him unless He provides the guidance and strength.

So, every night the Lord and I take stock... but not last night. I was sitting here playing Gin (a card game) on the computer with Richard (we each have a computer and play over the internet even though we're in the same room...totally weird, but fun) and I fell asleep sitting at the computer, not once, but twice! Off to bed I went at 8:30! Me, a night owl... I was out like a light. No time with the Lord... So now, I am up at 4:00 a.m. and writing yesterday's blog in the present tense... and talking with my Savior. Taking stock.

Saturday & Sunday, October 29 & 30, 2005

Off the Wall
The phone awakened me early and it took a bit to focus my mind on the message delivered by the rapidly speaking voice. In stabbing staccato, our daughter Kim delivered one piercing bit of bad news after another.

Twelve year old granddaughter Kaylah has an inoperative brain tumor. She is receiving radiation and chemo. No other details available at this time.

Her father Ethan was rear-ended by a semi as both traveled at speeds above 75 mph. Ethan is home from the hospital now. No other details available at this time.

Her eight year old brother was goofing around on the pool table and broke his arm... badly. The cast extends the length of his arm. No other details available at this time.

Her mother (our daughter Crystal) passed out, hit her head and has a concussion. No other details available at this time.

More later, we're on our way to church.

Psalm 84 was the evening service. "Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere..." It was good to be with our church family this evening, but I almost didn't go. I had not slept last night. I was spent by mid-afternoon, but I felt the pull of the Holy Spirit. It was a blessing to be in the house of the Lord, with the family of God.

It's been a stretching weekend. I didn't make it to the Ladies Breakfast. In fact, I got little done other than get some food ready for today's pot luck and finish the Pastor Appreciation gifts we wanted to give the four pastors who serve at FBC.

We went to Wal-Mart, which is always hard for me. I see my dear friends there... ex-coworkers I love. I miss them. I miss my position there. I loved working at Wal-Mart 1697... MY Wal-Mart! Store Manager Silvio Garbarino is an exceptional leader. His wonderful people skills include a genuine warmth and love for people. It was a joy to serve under him.

For a long time after my injury, my picture continued to hang in the layaway area along with the rest of the management team. I used to check it each time I went in. Seeing it there gave me hope of returning and reminded me others felt the same way... but after a time I quit checking... I became complacent. So it was a sad, but not unexpected discovery that my picture was gone. I was off the wall.

My heart was kind of heavy as I left the store. True, I had already been told I would probably never be able to return, and maybe never work again anywhere, but there is a finality about being removed from the wall... I was feeling a bit off the wall.

All sorts of things came at me this weekend. Things to drive me up the wall, or off the wall, but one constant remains... our God is an awesome God! He has called me and set me here in Galt for a purpose... I came to California because He ordained it and used Wal-Mart to accomplish it... I stay here at His bidding and I am full of joy to be here even though I still miss my old church family in Dothan, AL, too.

Tomorrow will be a new and blessed day I will enjoy a bit more after some sleep tonight..

See Archives 11 for Previous | See Archives 13 for Next